When a Petal Falls
by LostFrisbee
Summary: After the war the landscape of the world changed. Death haunted hero's, grief destroyed them. How do those who save so many but lose so much recover? A new path is opened to Sakura, away from the unspoken truths shared between lips and caught in brief glances. They have one last mission together, before she leaves and he becomes the Sixth. What could possibly go wrong? KakaXSaku
1. Your sorry eyes cut through the bone

This wee guy - Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ- means a change in POV. :)

 **Song Note:/** Lost Cause by Beck

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The chill of the evening settled upon Sakura's skin as she stepped out on to the training clearing from the trees. Wide green eyes searched the ground for a figure that had been vacant from her side for the last two weeks. It may have been the slight dampness to the air after the rain or the chill of the summer night's breeze but when she caught sight of him there her heart thumped and goosebumps travelled her.

Sitting there on the edge of the grassy clearing was her sensei, his silhouette giving the game away to the accurate summation of the owner of the shadowed slim figure in the dark. His hair was brushed back but it still gave away his distinct profile of ragged silver hair met with masked pale skin. Taking slow steps forward she watched as his head tilted upwards towards the star speckled night sky, his back was to her but she was pretty sure he knew of her presence approaching, after all he was an elite and she was not in any way trying to hide.

"Sensei.." she breathed as she now stood closely behind his relaxed form, "Yes Sakura?," he responded dazedly, "Can I sit with you a moment?" Lifting her hand to her mouth she went to bite her nails and stopped out of trained reflex, adamant to beat her nervous habit. "Yes, Sakura." He replied in the same tone.

Taking position on his left she aligned herself beside him, her sensei still had his head tilted back towards the sky. Sakura took in the slight gleam that covered his unmasked skin, _'he's been training I wonder for how long?'_

Sakura didn't know why she sought him out, well truthfully she knew in a desperate way. Budding anxiety had reared it's unfathomably ugly head within her over the last couple of months, and Sakura had realised with his missing presence over the last two weeks that her Sensei had been the only soul able to quench it's thirst. Yet within this understanding she remained confused about her desire to seek him out, and at this hour. "I've not seen you about Kakashi-Sensei, did you run in to hiding because I tried to steal your mask?" she joked, a smile creased her cheeks and her inherited dimples from her father made an appearance at the corners of her lips. "Well" he paused "…I am very fond of my mask." His tone was light at the edges lifting in the middle, Sakura deduced _'he's in the mood to talk, though I think I've caught him on the edge of oblivion, he needs sleep. That sleep ring under his eye is dark'_. Chuckling slightly she let her worry wane, _'whatever has made him tired hopefully it will lift with a good rest'_. Following his gaze upwards towards the night sky, pooling with ambers, golds and blues, she remarked "you are not answering my question".

"I did." He simply replied, with little effort. "Why are you out so late Sakura?"

Accepting his diversion in conversation she answered weakly, "I can't sleep, and it's just.. I need .. I mean I'm missing..." she stuttered, face flushing at her awkward phrasing.

"Noise?" Kakashi intercepted, eye still fixated on the wondrous skyscape above.

Goosebumps ever traveling her skin Sakura looked at her sensei as his eye also dropped to meet hers, "Yes" came her breathy response. "Naruto is so busy now, and Sasuke, I don't even know where he is. Everyone is just gone now." Voice faltering Sakura felt hollow, chest heavy, the words themselves had been so weighty in her mind and even more so in her heart. _'How sad have I become?'_

"Well I have to admit, without those two on my heel my days have become an awful lot more peaceful. Their bickering… it was almost like an old married couple had been stitched on to my back." Kakashi remarked, taking in his students body language he continued "though I'm sure you are feeling it a lot more than me."

Sakura let out a long sigh, a weight that she hadn't realised she was carrying seemed to lift from her shoulders. The talking cure seemed to have much more of a relevant affect than she had ever realised. "I guess." She added still feeling a tingling numbness and coldness tracing her. Though knowing she wasn't alone aided the situation, the lack of companionship still echoed in the back of her mind, Kakashi still had friends out with Team 7, Sakura had none. Ino since she had started dating Sai had almost cut her off; Sakura had only felt like a nuisance asking for a lunch meet up with her last week.

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, their time together over the years as sensei and student had allowed for the growth of comfortable, safe silences. Though they had always retained a stability within their relationship it had changed somewhat since Sakura had started training under Tsunade. They no longer seemed to hold a teacher student status, though in paper it was disclosed as so. Their dynamic had shifted closer to a friendship born purely from circumstance. _'For if we had never been Team 7_ ' Sakura thought sadly _'we wouldn't have drifted towards one and other, we would have been on totally different paths. Right, Kakashi? Two ships in the night.'_ Their friendship was valuable to her and though inside she truly felt like another burden thrust upon him, she was grateful he never turned her away.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Kakashi took a moment to glance down at Sakura and found himself studying the change in her outward appearance since he last saw her two weeks ago. Indeed she looked forlorn and tired, _'isolation has a way of doing that to people'._ Had his absence really took that much of a toll? Kakashi felt a pressure in his stomach, twisting and wiggling around calling for attention. At the end of all things Kakashi cared about Sakura, but emotional reliance wasn't something he had ever felt comfortable with, he just did not want to be responsible for this damage on her and for the emotional upkeep. _'It is just too powerful a thing, a young woman's emotions'._ Kakashi didn't want to admit it to himself but he couldn't catch and eradicate the thought before it claimed his attention, Sakura was an awful lot like Rin, the only difference being the pinked haired Kunoci's terrible flash tempers. _'By the grace of all that is good in the world, that temper is explosive and terrifying.'_ Yet he could admire that fiery nature of hers as when he was a young boy and Rin was alive he remembered that her kindness had been to the point of suffocating. To this day he wasn't very fond of that trait in both genders, it was an old prejudice of his that he was completely aware of and had tried to rid of throughout the years. But he couldn't help it, Kakashi had always been very aware of how easy it was to manipulate or trod on such forgiving and kind natured people. Icy fingers of grief now began tracing a phantom grip around his heart. _'That was just the kind and gentle soul Rin was'_ , he thought and in steadfast reaction Kakashi quickly resounded this thought process back in to his subconscious.

Thinking back to Sakura, Kakashi removed his gaze off her figure and back to the sky. He had zoned out _'Just a tad'_ , and didn't want her thinking he was staring if she caught him looking. Kakashi realised upon his viewing of her lonely form that he had watched over the years as a love stuck teenager with temperament issues had vanished and was replaced by a focused and determined young adult kunoichi... _'Still with temperament issues'._ Kakashi chirped inwardly. ' _She has grown_ ' he concluded recollecting the supple womanly frame he had seen beside him. It seemed that all of this change had happened in such a short amount of time, he could hardly conjure the image of her when she was younger. _'well, again most of my time was spent on the boys'_ , he thought sheepishly, _'I hardly played any part in her life until these recent years.'_

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura let her mind wander as both she and Kakashi regained their focus on the skyline across Konoha.

Within their moment of tranquillity and peace the wispy clouds above seemed to mock them cruelly as they let burst to a light drizzle of rain. Jumping from her spot on the grass Sakura let out a light laugh, "well sensei, I think we should find cover?" Chuckling he lifted his tired limbs from the ground and hoisted himself on to his feet, towering over her small frame. Sakura now took in his full appearance, silver hair flown askew, clothes caked in mud and what appeared to be from his masked face a bright smile weighted with a desire for a soft pillow. In all her years she had never noticed him in the same manner she had her peers, but tonight in the drizzle of the rain she saw the hardworking man he was. Not a teacher, nor a figure much older and in higher grade of office and of pay, but as a person much closer to heart in mirror reflection of herself and her own desire to be greater. Yet also in the one grey orb, she could steal a glance at, Sakura caught a glimpse of the same loneliness that could take the heart of her. That same look she gave the bathroom mirror each morning. Breaking eye contact Sakura tried to regain composure, for surely she hadn't seen that look? Kakashi was a popular man, though quite had an abundance of friends who would give their days plans to him on his whimsy.

They walked away from the grassy enclose in silence towards the darkened streets of the village, the rain gently caressing the buildings and tress around them. Sakura went to wave

Kakashi off as she took towards the centre crossing which would take her home; this was the norm for them and their partings. Yet as soon as she moved away she felt a warm masculine hand come over her shoulder, turning her round gently to face its owner.

"I'll walk you home" was all he said.

Sakura hadn't understood where the sudden proclamation had come from, but it had seemed to her rude to turn down the offer, and out with social curtsey she was enjoying the company of the lean figure walking alongside her. Regardless of their lack of conversation the company was pleasant and she felt content and less restless having not departed on her own towards her apartment. Their footsteps echoed in harmony off the cobbled ground as the high-rise flats became ever present around them the further they journeyed into the Westside of the village. Her skin was terribly cold, that and now her body was slowly being coated with the soft rain, clothes becoming heavier with water, teeth now chattering behind her lips slightly. They weren't far now from her home, so she emplaced her trained mental durability coping mechanism to the weather around her, something she would do for missions most commonly in winter.

"Kakashi-Sensei, I'm figuring you are busy but "... Sakura paused wondering if she ought to continue. Breathing deeply she took a moment to build her confidence in her words, _'there's no harm in asking him, he won't care any way.'_ Kakashi looked at her calmly, hands draped in his pockets head slightly downturn in attempt to keep the drizzling rain off his masked face.

What had originally been a sentence meant for placing a question regarding his availability for lunch or something tomorrow dissolved on the edge of her tongue. Though they had spent large amounts of time together it was never organised, one of them kind of just showed up beside the other. Such as tonight as a clear example, though this wasn't the only cause leading to the rejected question; Sakura was just too worried about receiving a 'no', even if there was a perfectly sound reason behind it. Sakura felt her face flush and her belly nought up, _'he's looking at me, what do I say, what the hell do I say!?'_ Then it happened, word salad stumbled off her lips, she desperately tried to fling words out. "It's good to see you… you know? I'm not trying to be weird it's just well… when I didn't see you it made me aware that I missed your company a lot." Growing more anxious she spurted... "Team 7 and all that…" Sakura cringed inside, she cringed seriously hard, _'what the hell exactly were those words, and why exactly did I say them like that!?'_ The figure walking alongside her held the same expression as before showing no horrid flinching in reaction or awkwardness, Sakura was at first thankful then she fretted over his lack of response. Kakashi just seemed to nod at her almost curtly and they continued their walk, closing in on her home. She swore to herself she would never speak again, with the risk of having to sow her own mouth shut in desire to close out the social horror she had begot.

In all effort she had just wanted to extend the gratitude for his company and had landed herself in a black pit of self-hatred. _'That's it; I'll be up all night torturing myself with that stupid line… Team 7 and all that! Fantastic!'_

Kakashi let out a weak cough, alerting her to the ascending staircase of the high-rise she was situated in, he must've recognised her lack of cognitive reaction to the external environment. At first she was surprised when she noticed he didn't slow down then reasoned _'he intends to walk me to my door.'_ Climbing the staircase together Sakura raised her hand to her mouth and dutifully started biting her nails _'I am such an idiot; he probably thinks I was coming on to him.'_ With the thought of repugnant social doom ensnaring her thoughts Sakura reached for key as they approached her apartment door on the 3rd floor, the number 7 plate swung gently on one screw _'I'll need to fix that at some point.'._

The key slid in to the lock with ease and the mechanism holding the door shut popped and in satisfactory timing the wooden white door creaked open; showcasing the darkness of her apartment inside, alongside its inviting warmth and aroma. From Sakura's horrible memory for turning off the heaters to the ludicrous amounts of scented candles spotted about, which though unlit filled the senses with cherry blossom and Jasmin, her apartment seemed to enclose a sense of home and relaxation.

"Thank you for walking me home Kakashi-Sensei", was all she could muster in her moment of absolute social indemnification. He lightly chuckled somewhat behind her, Sakura wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now, this had never happened. Kakashi had never walked her home, what was she supposed to do, invite him? Looking up innocently trying to rush the heat from her face that she was sure made her cheeks look like ripe tomatoes, she asked in a whispered hush "em, would you like to come in for a drink or a tea or something, Kakashi-Sensei?" her hands were shaking.

"No thank you Sakura, it's late and this rain is getting rather heavy. I best be home before I'm mistaken for pile of mud anyway." He gestured his hands towards his clothes, "I'll catch you tomorrow if you would like?"

Glancing up at him in the glow of the hall light for the corridor Sakura still saw a gleam of sweat to his pale skin, but this time she swore this wasn't down to training. "Yes that would be nice!" she cheerily replied, pushing awkwardness aside. _'He probably feels sorry for me'._

"How about I get you at four? I'll come and get you here now that I know where you live?"

 _'Wait. Did he plan this?'_ she thought quizzically though the thought was dropped rather quickly in the excitement of spending the day with an actual human being and not her Tv-Set. "Yeah, em I guess so I'm not busy tomorrow." She replied quietly. "Good." He quipped "I'll see you then". Was all he gave in response as he left.

Sakura was astonished, her sensei was never like this, _'did he walk me home to actually find out where I lived?'_ This wasn't the only thought that swam across her ever racing mind. Watching as his figure moved down the hall she went to say goodnight… and as the words hitched in her throat, Kakashi looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Hey, and Sakura by the way… I missed you too."

With a soft wave he departed from the level and his figure started descending the stairs.


	2. Shades of gray meaning

**Song note:/** The Answer by Automatic Loveletter (Recover - EP Version)

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Kakashi stood there with his hands in his pockets staring at the wonky number 7 on Sakura's apartment door. He was to be here for the self-declared time of 4, so naturally it was going on seven at night. Recalling the time he'd kept her waiting for training last year he grew concerned over his physical being. Shuffling awkwardly on his feet, the absolute fear that had ransacked his normal calm composure during that time reached from his memory so vividly that he began to feel a most powerfully physical will to flee in wiggly terror back down the stairs and far away. Sakura was so angry that he had sought refuge in the ground and of course after searching around for him, she came quickly to the realization that he may be in the ground and had dutifully smacked a solid tiny fist of rage in to it. Uprooting him from his hiding spot like a weed, that he very much felt like after the shockwave of her chakra had dazed him. So in this present time, with the clocks of the village all reaching out a hand for the evening, the silver haired copy-nin now respectfully found himself to be rather nervous when needing to knock said door with the wonky number plate.

Kakashi could sense her charka inside but it seemed to be at the other end of the apartment; he pondered _'She's likely looking out that large living area window of hers, maybe I should have taken the window route?'_ Kakashi quite enjoyed sneaking up on Sakura, she always reacted _'so brilliantly'_ with wide eyes searching everywhere, pink hair standing on end _'and that terrific, hilarious girly scream'._

Chuckling softly to himself he reached out a gently closed fist to knock the door, thinking over the great deal of amusement she provided him. Kakashi theorized that _'one day when I'm old and not quite quick enough I'll have to rethink my tactics or else face that tiny fist of rage in all its destructive glory_ _…and in all honesty'_ the copy-nin reasoned he'd be completely finished if that day were to come. Kakashi enjoyed their goes at each other, be it her anger or his _'damnable idiocy'_ as she called it. This messing around over the last two years had let both sides claim a common friendly territory in what had held for so long as a vacant no man's land. It wasn't as if they didn't get on before but when she was younger it was just _'well, awkward'._ They both were on different paths, _'yet maturity is a funny thing'_ he queried.

As he had refocused on her after the war, the girl was just gone and stood in her place was this new person who had seen so much horror and like him, desperately grappled for coping mechanisms. One such mechanism, he figured, had been her sudden onslaught towards him of _'playful fighting by her standard, but frivolously engaged combat avoidance on mines...'_ As her sensei, and more importantly to him than he thought it was to Sakura, her friend. Kakashi simply couldn't turn her away, regardless of his reluctance to be someone's emotional crutch; on this level of support he was comfortable anyway. There were no tears or more importantly hugs, he did not do physical affection. It was too intimate for him _'and should be_ _retained between family and lovers'_ was his conclusion on the matter.

The two week mission that had stolen his time away had been so frightfully dull, that once back he had taken straight to training to flex some muscles that went unused. When Sakura had come out of the tree line and approached him afterwards he was glad to see her. Though he was in the mood to talk, his body demanded rest so his conversation had been rather limited.

With the way that she had been before him last night Kakashi reasoned that isolation was becoming an overbearing tyrant and he ought to help lessen its weight. Sakura had been uncharacteristically nervous, from the shaking to the nail biting, _'I thought we had broken that habit a long time ago'_. A faint recollection bubbled at the surface of his thoughts on the forced application of aversion therapy he had administered on Sakura. The memory flooded forward in his mind; an image of him restraining her and painting her nails forcibly with a clear horrible tasting nail covering which couldn't be removed unless he decided it was time. The sight of them must have been laughable _'That had been a great fight though'_ he smiled softly.

Kakashi just didn't like her being nervous, it put him on edge as he wasn't used to it, she was always confident and full of energy with him. So as he had watched her last night he was surprised at her lack of cognitive fluency as it meant that Sakura wanted to say or ask something of him but had gotten too nervous. This thought made him rather annoyed, _'when did this sudden nervousness develop, what happened that was so taxing when I was a gone?'_

The only thing the pink haired _kunoichi had_ ever really needed from him was time Kakashi reasoned, so here he was giving her time. Tonight would be good for both of them; he had missed her company, more than he would let himself dwell on. Kakashi had contacted Anko when he had awoken in the morning and had asked her to arrange a meet up at the pub with the guys. It was his belief that if he introduced Sakura on a friend basis to what were her Highers, _'in rank but not in talent'_ he proudly thought, then she would have a social group. People that he had come to know as reliable and always up for a good laugh over cards and memory sharing over drinks; it would help beat back her isolation as it had done so for him in the past.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura was sitting by the large window in her living room, which ran from the ceiling to her floor, with it's wooden frame gridding down it she continued to peer out one of the many squares. The sky had darkened ever so slightly but still the sun hovered high above, sweet reds and golds tracing its slow departure. It was a beautiful night, _'I don't think it will rain again, not tonight anyway.'_

For the first time in a very long while she was glad her sensei was late, as she had predicted she had spent the night worrying. A two hour nap when she had sat on her couch at three and woke up at five was the only sleep she had caught. If it had been anyone else she had been waiting on Sakura would have panicked. Yet, thankfully it was her sensei and not Sasuke or even Naruto she awaited, a pang of longing slid across her chest sneaking from her heart. Naruto was still about so at least she saw him now and again, but Sasuke it had been over a year and a half now. _'It had to be, it's been so long now I wonder if he's changed. I wonder if he misses me?'_ her mind caved to the gentle nudging desire of that still, ever so lightly lingering shadow of teenage love that she had held for him. This is why she didn't like to be alone and was looking forward to escaping her own company tonight with Kakashi. Her own memories and past desires, littered with mistakes and missteps had slowly poisoned her over that past couple of months, they ate away at her like some ghastly demon. Sleep was also an issue, eating was another, anytime she did either she would feel sick and distinctly uncomfortable, as if dozens of tiny spiders traveled under her skin. "How much of a wreck have I become?" she hushed to herself.

To the end of her thoughts she sat only then to be reeled back in to the reality of her apartment as a gentle knock sounded from the direction of her front door. 'He's here', she didn't understand truly why she was flooded by such a nervous euphoria but was thankful for the change of pressure from an anxious tightening feeling in her chest to soft little butterflies roaming around her tummy. Sakura made light quick steps to her standing mirror at the far end of the room beside the corner which led to the door. Running her hands through her hair, replacing stands which had revolted against her previously brushed pattern she then stood back taking one last full look at herself.

Sakura had chosen a soft pastel green dress which cut just above her knees, it was a petite dress so it clung to her small frame wonderfully. She didn't want to wear one of her kunoichi sets that she mostly always had on, so she had picked something slightly different but comfortable and casually set so she would be neither too dressy or completely under dressed. _'It's summer anyway, best get use out of these summer dresses now, because they're about to be locked up for another year.'_

One final deep breath to swallow away any lingering nerves she went to the door grabbing a small shoulder bag on the way.

Sakura hadn't exactly thought about what she had expected to see when she opened the door, but for some reason it hadn't even crossed her mind that her sensei had filtered through a similar thought pattern on clothing choice. Not meaning he was wearing a pastel green dress of course, but it was rare indeed to see the copy-nin in anything but his gear. Still masked with, head band and all he looked like his normal official self from the neck up, but that was when the familiarity ceased. Kakashi wore a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of simple grey cargo shorts, he looked so relaxed, with one leg propped against the metal railing which bordered the walkway and his hands sluggish shoved in his pockets. "Yo! Sorry I'm late but I got cornered by old ladies on the way here and I had to stop and help them carry their bags." Sakura rolled her eyes trying to appear unamused but the smile on her face gave the game away. The pink haired Kunoichi scoffed, "What are you like, huh?" she remarked rhetorically, "It's always the same", lifting a hand and waving it slightly as if to dismiss his tardiness as a problem she continued, "but it's okay this time sensei" Sakura's smile remained present, dimples showing.

"So no combat rolls and earthquakes this time?" he joked, a laugh escaped him as he closed his one visible eye in almost childlike relief. Sakura just watched feeling content that her lack of violence appeared to make her sensei amused … _'He'll pay for that later at some point, rest assured, he will pay'._ Watching his profile now, waiting for him to regain composure, Sakura took in the soft paleness to his skin. Kakashi had always been a thin yet tall, lanky sort of build, but now as his arms were on display and the shirt not as baggy as his normal gear Sakura could see the definition in his chest and arms. He wasn't so much of a waif of a man that she had previously thought, not in the slightest, he was lean but distinctly cut, _'all that training should have been a clue'_ was all her brain was able to monopolize for her in response.

"Right. Sensei before I change my mind. What is the plan exactly?" Sakura interjected herself, trying to abstain from letting her eyes continue their roaming and to bring Kakashi's self-obtained jubilant moment back round.

"Well, I thought the pub. Anko and a few others are meeting up and It seems like you could do with a few drinks and an evening with a bunch of loud people." Through his mask Sakura could see the outline of a gentle smile.

The gesture was sweet, that was undoubtable, and at the very fact Kakashi had sought out noise for her made her cheeks flush. Though Sakura couldn't help but feel a rock drop from her throat to her tummy expunging left over butterflies from earlier. What was it, the idea that she would be around a group of people she was not used to socializing with on this level or was it the worrisome idea that she had expected it just to be them tonight that left her saddened? Whatever it was those butterflies hadn't stood a chance.

There it was again, a warm hand on her shoulder, Sakura glanced back up to her sensei, she hadn't even been aware of looking away. He bowed his frame slightly as to bring himself closer, allowing him to look at Sakura on her level without completely dwarfing her in all his cumbersome height. Sakura had almost sworn her breath had hitched and shattered in the act of inhalation, she was totally unprepared for this proximity.

In a calm and carefree manner he continued "Hey, Sakura don't worry they'll love you. I mean after all these years they are itching to get to actually sit down with you. According to them apparently I hog you to myself too much" Kakashi let out a small chuckle. The gentle rhyme to his voice told her what she was looking to understand, Kakashi had read her to be socially anxious of the forthcoming meetup, _'That's okay, I suppose I am rather nervous._ ' Sakura let herself be calmed by his words and took a deep breath smiling, "Yeah, it'll be good. It's just been awhile since I've ventured out like this" she offered. His silver mop of hair tickled her forehead as he nodded and patted her on the shoulder with his present hand to only shove it back in to his pocket mirroring the other.

Straightening himself out again he leaned back on the railing, "Well then let's us get going!"

Sakura was aware of his eyes studying the back of her as she turned to lock the door, all that crossed her mind under his watchful gaze was. _'What exactly have I got myself in for?'_ Her intuition seemed too respond from the far reach of her subconscious … _'a very eventful night indeed.'_


	3. Deep in delusion sending me over

**Song note: /** My Delirium by LadyHawke

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

In the heat of the summer day and the encroaching cool evening the cobbles bellow Sakura's feet seemed to radiate a dulling warmth. The air around them weighted with humidity stickily clung to them and every other unfortunate soul who roamed the busy streets. Sakura had hoped that the rain would have cleared away the dry air, _'of course that small drizzle wouldn't have been enough'_ she huffed inwardly and supposed that maybe this was some cruel form of torture at the hands of irony, she always did like the bathing house a bit too much. Yet, the world was not one vast bathing house in which someone had haphazardly left the showers on. This heat was great and over encompassing, completely inescapable once you let your legs carry you out with the safety of a building. Sakura could already feel her hair frizzing, she watched the shadow she cast now as they walked and indeed her hair began to have a halo effect, _'nice'_ she thought with a feeling of exasperation. Eyes clouded with said exasperation Sakura swung a glance up at Kakashi, who had a particular look about him, like a captured pup, restricted from bounding off the walls. Sakura was aware that her considerably shorter legs meant that walking with her had three outcomes. One, and the most common, entailed watching the backs of those she was with disappearing over the horizon, another had her all out running to keep up. Or, and this was a very rare phenomenon, those she was with walked at her pace, which meant a hell of a lot of patience. Only one had tried in the past Sakura remembered and it had been Naruto, who she had to recognise held out awfully well before snapping and calling her a snail. To which Naruto then had, to Sakura's fury, expertly avoided her retaliation in fists before having her chase him all over the village.

A sense of gratefulness wisped through her at Kakashi's effort, Sakura went to smile then faltered upon the realisation that the copy-nin had caught her. Right smack in the middle of the inquisitive glance she had swung.

"hm?" he grunted somewhat dejectedly.

Rummaging throughout her mind Sakura searched hopelessly for a conversational point that would eradicate the bidding social monstrosity that was clawing at the gates of her delirium. Then in a stroke of forgiving happenstance a question she had meant to ask him unearthed itself from the foggy archive of her memory.

"You're still covering your left eye?" she inquired curiously.

At first Sakura could have sworn she saw the silver haired nin stiffen, but doubt quickly fell in. Had the reaction occurred it had been so very fleetingly a fault in composure that she could barely fix on its questionable existence. "Yes. Habit." He offered "and" now tapping the silver plate of the headband gently he summarised his predicament, "I've worn them for so long now they just don't sit right any other way." Kakashi smiled as he looked down at her, Sakura only felt relief at his reply.

It hadn't occurred to her just moments before when she was fluttering why exactly she'd kept that question back, but now it had. The lost Sharingan hadn't been a topic for discussion; it simply hadn't been no matter the person or situation which presented an opportunity for exploration. Always a shadowed thought in the back of many minds since its absence, like a lurking unquenched thirst it beckoned, but no one took up the mirage.

Sakura herself had never tried out of respect to reach in to that part of his psyche. It had seemed to her that such a conversation or prompt to emote would only slight or mock this new path of life that had revealed itself to her sensei. As she and those close to the copy-nin knew some losses just didn't need to be talked of and some journeys, sadly and most horribly unfair, were meant to be made alone.

As if to relieve any lingering tension in both himself and Sakura Kakashi happily chirped, "I've put in an order for a new set awhile back. So I'll be able to use my left eye, forbid Naruto starts to think I'm ungrateful."

' _So wait... it's been years, it has taken him years to place a new order'_ she mused _'is he really that lazy…?'_

Then a thought so quite in approach left Sakura feeling a hollow ache settle in her chest where the relief had sat before. The thought had merely asked of her, what if it wasn't because of apathy that he hadn't taken to ordering new headbands sooner? Looking over Kakashi's relaxed slightly slumped posture, Sakura couldn't bring herself to believe he who had always appeared so strong and unaffected by the world to be burdened under such loss over a bygone attribute to his body. Yet, the weighty meaning of the attribute itself was stained in blood and loss, and as it had been his friends parting gift it was equally imbedded with forgiveness, adoration and promise.

Kakashi had only spoken to Sakura once on the memory of Obito, she hadn't and never would have dared ask for the story. He had just simply sat down beside her one evening after one of their matches and let it stream form his consciousness. Sakura had been so surprised during that winter night, sitting there in the snow with her bum slowly growing damper that she had sat wide eyed and hopelessly lost in his words. It had felt like and had been such a privilege to be entrusted with his loss that Sakura had found herself unable to really absorb the moment. The only memory from the time, other than the memory in which he shared, was her burning desire to reach out to him. Though he shed no tears Kakashi seemed to admit to her on that night the true weight behind his grief without really covering it in words, his tone telling her all she needed to know.

"He would never think of you as ungrateful sensei" a soft smile creased her cheek, dimple making a show of it's now very commonly restricted time.

He nodded in agreement, Naruto was many things but when it came to reading people he had a very clear understanding, this they both acknowledged.

Before Sakura had any more time to add her thoughts to the conversation they were there, outside the pub. It was only three streets away but it still surprised her how quick the time had filtered away under their steps, particularly at her walking pace. Looking up at the heavy wooden door before them Sakura seemed to hold her breath quite sharply, which didn't go unnoticed.

"I'll be right beside you." He spoke gently placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her in to the establishment, Sakura shivered under it, why she did… she did not know.

Inside cool fresh air, the sound of an air conditioner humming in the background and the many yammering voices of customers who filled the bar stools and adjoining tables greeted them. It was a pub made in to a comfortable lounge, with the walls covered in collectables such as plates, statues, posters and paper clippings. The floor, wooden oak, had expansive rugs randomly placed, askewed upon it's sheen. The lighting fixtures were forgiving, lighting the place softly as if they were candles and not bulbs. The setting summer sun outside through the aid of large rounded windows engorged the rest of the bustling pub with the tint of orange. _'This place is wonderful.'_ Sakura now developing awe for the place grew to wish that she had decided to check out her sensei's local with him at an earlier point.

"It's nice isn't it?" He spoke almost smugly, nodding she breathed out weakly "uh, huh". Still feeling his fingertips pressing in to her back left her unable to relax her shoulders, which remained ever tense. Again this physical manifestation of bubbling uncertainty didn't go unnoticed as two strong pale hands now slid over them. Kakashi gave a gentle squeeze to her shoulders and Sakura felt her knees wilt in tingling response. _'…he would be good at massages.'_ This almost completely jumbled thought was all that made it through the entanglement of her mind. With the budding social meeting and the unfortunate but _'I'll have to deal with it'_ proximity of her sensei, Sakura felt rather whimsically disengaged.

"Right, Anko said the normal booth. Which… is over to the far right, I think I can see them." Kakashi strained his neck round the circling bar end, lifting himself on to his toes to gain extra leverage. "Yes!" He exclaimed jubilantly, "there they are!" Still with his hands placed on her shoulders Kakashi guided Sakura to the table he had sought out from the distance. As they approached Sakura saw that the table was occupied by Yamato, Anko, Kurenai, Genma and Kotetsu, they all gave the impression of being rather inebriated. Glasses littered the table; most empty and disregarded towards its edge, some filled and in the hands of occupants and somewhat ominously two drinks lay waiting at the tables centre.

"Hey, Kakashi-Senpai!" Yamato had seen them immediately and began to wave rather enthusiastically. "You're here… finally. Late as always though." Yamato's burst of erratic waving drew in the eyes of the rest of the table, they all watched as Kakashi led Sakura to the last available space beside Genma. "You'll never be on time. Even in Anbu, absolutely notorious, I should have gotten you a watch for your birthday last year Senpai!" Sakura, rather objectively, during this proclamation thought to herself _'yes, you really should have Yamato.'_ Kakashi merely laughed; "I have a watch" his dry response came. "Well clearly it's rubbish, i''ll place a bet that it doesnt even have hands on it" the brunette responded in what was supposed to be a serious tone but both men broke composure and laughed loudly.

Anko lay relaxed against the back of the seat, eyes misty with alcohol "Yo! Kakashi! You finally share your little protege with us. I wonder just what made you three hours late" she said grinning with salacious glee before slipping off, to what Sakura presumed to be sleep. Kurenai smiled in greeting towards Sakura and Kakashi, "I'm sorry; we started earlier." There was a small pause then Kotetsu continued on where Kurenai left off, "…well we started at the time chosen originally, but I went and grabbed you both some drinks in recompense." He winked towards Sakura "Considering Kakashi was always going to get you here late I thought it would be a good idea. We know it's him anyway, but it's just to make it adamantly obvious." Sakura nodded "thank you Kotetsu" feeling a blush travel across her cheeks. _'They're all really nice'_ she thought as she took the place beside Genma who was the only one to have remained silent.

Now glancing at her neighbour on the large seat Sakura took in Genma's position, he sat with one arm slung over the back of where she now sat, an unknown fire burning behind his brown eyes. "Hello." She smiled.

"Hello." He returned the smile, a toothpick turning in his smirk as he watched her.

Sakura felt herself rather warm in the face, the blush taking on far greater control than she had ever let it before. Never had she been looked at in such a manner by a full grown man before, and she didn't know quite how to deal with it. That knowing look, the studying of her body and long flickering eye contact seemed to pool towards her some specific context that had never been poured out in her direction before.

Breaking her inadvertent linking of eye contact with Genma, Kakashi's weight dropped on to the seat on her left, the soft warmth of his arm brushing hers. "Right" he cleared his throat "so these are ours? Thank you Kotetsu."

Placing the other drink within her grasp Kakashi made a start on his, "It's a game of catch… up" Genma said smoothly beside her and at that moment Sakura also started making a dent in her beverage, cheeks ever the redder.

* * *

The hour hand on the clock above the bar seemed to spin rapidly as time passed in such an accelerated fashion. Sakura found herself absorbed in conversation from conversation dipping from one person to the next, skipping Anko, who may have worryingly walked in to a self-induced coma. Kurenai had assured Sakura later in and amongst conversation that Anko was prone to extreme napping and had only had a few drinks, so she wasn't to worry. Conversation had been explicitly graphic when describing battles at first before they moved softly on to campfire stories and memories amongst the still moments of the war. Yamato gave great attention towards Sakura's experience with the copies of Zetsu's invading medical camps and the final confrontation in the frontline; she guessed that this was because he'd been trapped for most of the time and unable to help. Kurenai had gone on to exclaim many times throughout that though feeling blessed at the life she gave birth to, in the form of her baby girl, she had wished she could've helped. When sharing tales Sakura had begun to realise that against all unforgivingly nervous qualms in her mind she shared so much common ground with them all. For the first time in a very long while, the shadow of loneliness seemed to be a distant worry as Sakura now realised as she smiled and laughed with those around her.

Noise buzzed off the walls, laughter echoed and music by a now rather wobbly looking bar band, with sake positioned by each of their seats, vibrated throughout.

Alcohol seemed to swim between the bar and the table as slowly Sakura began to feel as if she were floating somewhat. Not being completely abstinent from drinking in the past Sakura understood that she was reaching some sort of limit, but along with said non abstinence filtered a lack of sleep, food and time since she'd last consumed such large quantities of alcohol. Her skin tingled as her heart raced, slouching back in the seat she took in the talkative table around her. Anko was very much awake now and excitedly trying to get Kotetsu to arm wrestle, his face was filled with amusement and abject terror. Kurenai was trapped between them looking somewhat complexed yet equally entertained. Everyone knew how freakishly strong Anko was after all.

Breathing deeply Sakura looked up at the ever quite Kakashi to see he was staring at her, a red haze below his one visible eye. _'Drunk?'_ was Sakura's conclusion _'but why is he staring at me like that? Stop it sensei'_ her stomach seemed to fill with a fuzzy, elated feeling. A moment passed between them in which neither moved nor broke eye contact, and though it seemed to go on forever the stillness between them was soon to be disrupted. As just over Kakashi's silver mop of hair Sakura saw a very effeminate blurry outline resolve in to a beautiful womanly figure. That elated feeling from just seconds before now sank like a ship with a great hole in it. A delicate hand came over his back, moving from his shoulder to softy stroke at his neck. "Kakashi" uttered the figure in a breathy whisper.

Focusing her eyes past the blur of her intoxication Sakura saw the tall red head with amber eyes now completely, _'she's beautiful'_ came her respiring thoughts. "I haven't seen you in such a long time it's nearly been three weeks." The beautiful woman gushed somewhat shyly with her very own streak of red crossing her face. _'She's very shy for such a beautiful woman… unless she's putting it on?_ ' The rest of the table was still wrapped in conversation, something for which Sakura was very, very grateful for. Trying to pull her gaze off the woman behind her sensei Sakura redirected her eyes to the table, catching a last fleeting look at Kakashi's frozen face as he moved to look at the woman who continued to softly stoke at his neck.

Sakura kept her eyes on the table but she couldn't advert her hearing in the same manner, as the woman most likely by the sounds of it had bent down over him. Now murmuring softly in to his ear without care to Sakura's position next to them. Sakura caught the scrapings of what was said against her will and between the "I've waited for you" and a husky "I need you" Sakura swore she had heard the womanly beauty ask "…Can I sit with you?"

True to form the question was answered for both women as Sakura felt a dip in the angle of the seating to her left. Risking a glace up Sakura was met by the amber eyed figure running a hand through Kakashi's hair - with long shapely legs then being in turn casually sprawled across his lap.

The room seemed to sway somewhat, everything becoming just that little bit too noisy to bear. Sakura wrapped her arms around her stomach feeling incredibly uncomfortable; self-ease being lapped away like waves against a cliff face, so violently and without control. A storm was setting in to her core; she could feel it's icy trails starting to swirl from its edges. The noise which had given so much comfort now wrapped around her like a leeching ghoul, so hungry and contorted.

Stepping up sharply Sakura made to squeeze around the entire table to escape out of the steadily growing claustrophobic booth. Taking the long route out seemed to attract attention to her from the group but they merely went back to their interactions unfazed and Sakura found her freedom without passing the woman and… _'him'_ so she considered her fleeing to be a success _. 'I'm not moving away because of that… that ridicules and really socially unacceptable show beside me, I'm moving because I want a drink'_ she defiantly clipped to herself. Now on her feet Sakura felt the floor beneath her shift as if she were walking on water. Logic and sense told her _'look you are completely out of it'_ whereas that inebriated part of her said _'go sit at the bar, have another, just don't stand on the ground it's trying to trip you up.'_ Moving across the floor of the pub Sakura took in somewhat her s-formation style of walk and giggled to herself over the idea of spelling her name as she walked. Climbing on top of one of the toweringly high bar stools Sakura put her hand up to motion to the barman for another drink but due to the anarchy of the bar her small, slight arm was dwarfed out of sight by all the other customers.

Looking at the clock Sakura saw that she had been trying to signal the barman for around eighteen minutes, dejectedly she huffed and put her now sore arm down. Then, as if by further lucky happenstance at that moment of drinking retirement she felt a heat behind her back. Not touching but radiating off another body, the sight of a strong masculine arm to her right crossed her eye line as it was raised and, within all of ten seconds, summoned the bar man. Sakura swivelled round in a half motion to see the owner of the arm, and there smiling with a toothpick between his teeth was Genma. "Would you like another drink Sakura?"

"em, yeah sure" she gulped dryly becoming appreciative of her intoxication, momentary pleasing confidence and self-worth altering the meaning behind the storm still raging on within her. Genma handed the bar man some coins as he took their regular orders coming back quickly to place them on the bar. It did occur to Sakura that she shouldn't have grown agitated with the bar man for his lack of service to her alone and his steadfast service to Genma. As when he'd placed the drinks down in front of them she had clearly seen the bustling red of a man who's blood pressure and stress levels were clearly encroaching the ceiling. "Thank you Genma" Sakura let her eyes slip closed as she took the first sip of her drink, the alcohol still burned her throat slightly but all it left now was a tingly sensation in its wake. "You're beautiful, you know Sakura. I don't know why Kayo made you so uncomfortable."

' _So that's her name.'_ jeered a sharp voice from the reaches of her mind.

Sakura went to hide her surprise at Genma's proclamation of beauty but it was too late, she flinched and her drink spilt down her dress. "Oh dammit" she sighed, fingers now touching at the thankfully smallish damp spot. Genma chuckled; the sound was pleasing to her ears as it rolled off his lips with such ease. Sakura looked up at him only to join in with his delight of her reaction, _'it was such a violent reaction to just one word'_ she mused as a smile now broke across her face.

"It's not that she made me uncomfortable. It was just the really unfortunate sitting arrangement next to a closely engaged pair of …" she stopped herself from continuing. This drink apparently made her verbal capacity want to slip in to something a bit more comfortable but she was still around those higher in rank and wanted to retain at least some air of professional vernacular when it came to her sensei and his comrades. Still laughing somewhat, Genma nodded showing he understood why she had fled. "So let's talk about that reaction then…"

' _Oh, please let's not.'_

"You're not used to this type of attention are you?" this was his quizzical offering in desire to explore Sakura's reaction. She didn't respond but her body language told him everything he needed to know. In all capacity Sakura's silence was enabled by two factors, her inability to find a suitable, _'respectable'_ answer and her surprise at Genma's light-hearted admittance to what had previously only been speculative guesses, on her part anyway, to his intensions. A callused hand now stroked her cheek tracing until it met with her chin, Genma lightly and smoothly guided Sakura's attention from the floor to him. "You are beautiful Sakura, and so strong. I'm beyond words at the moment because of the damnable drink to properly tell you how happy I am that you came tonight and for me to have been able to hear of yourself and your stories." Genma had said he was beyond words but in Sakura's mind those he used flowed with such a calming systematic truth. _'Had he really enjoyed my company? Maybe I'm not as bad at…'_ she couldn't finish the thought before her mouth decided to go on talking without her cognitive influence.

"I… thank you. I've had so much fun tonight and I'm just glad that I could… have a night with, well i mean get to know you all better." It was at this futile attempt at conversation Sakura now felt the complete weight of alcohol that she had taken in over the last couple of hours. Genma seemed to smile at her knowingly, _'forgive my word choice please'_ , Sakura pleaded to the cruel gods of fate.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Kakashi sat with a weight spread across his lap; he was really warm now and utterly confused. With a quickly budding annoyance he also had the faint will to pull Kayo's hands from his hair. This was at the all too knowing factor that she would probably once again mess it up and not sort it. Kayo's advances left him flabbergasted and without much in the way of a response. They hadn't seen each other for the last three weeks because of two reasons, one was his mission and the second was the puzzling point; she had broken off their contact _. 'What exactly am I supposed to do with this'_ , he thought exasperated. Kayo and he had shared a great deal of the year together enjoying each other's company and most devilishly each other's bodies, _'but it had ended like it was always going to.'_

Kakashi knew she would grow bored of him, and though it was an open relationship and nothing in which either committed to he knew she had felt suffocated. Presuming the reason was his lack of interest in other women, as where she had still enjoyed the company of other men he had abstained from any activity with other woman. It may have been that this was too much of a commitment, 'a burden', to her that she had ended it over fear, the most reasonable fear that the relationship was only an open one to her, yet in truth Kakashi had seen the relationship as open and fluid just as much as she did. The only reason behind his actions or lack thereof was a most boring one; he just couldn't be bothered in the last couple of months. Kakashi could respect Kayo's decision though and had obliged without problem to her exclamations in him leaving her to her life.

Kayo now sat on his lap with her legs perched over the end of the seat so she could lean the side of her body in to his. "I've missed you", she purred. Lightly and most discretely grinding her lower half down on to his lap, this thankfully was eclipsed from the view of everyone by the table

At this moment Kakashi suddenly found himself snapped back in too full awareness of his surroundings as he heard the clatter and watched Sakura vacate her seat rather roughly. His eye followed her body as she weaved herself from the booth by the other end. In his stomach he tried to ignore the drowning sensation of… what was it exactly… shame?

Gently he rose, softly lifting Kayo to her feet. "Kayo" he breathed softly "I'm sorry, but this isn't the time for this, maybe we could run over this another time?"

She smiled sadly, understanding blossoming in a small sad look. "Yes, maybe we could, unless we should happen to get lost upon the path of life…" Kayo leaned in and hugged Kakashi, and with a gentle embrace she whispered into his ear "Should the path of life lead you to wander this is my new address, stop by" As she pulled back to break the embrace, she placed a small white piece of paper into his pocket and walked away.

Kakashi's mind now away from the farewell, realised Sakura had left the table _'had she noticed this…?'_ he didn't even want to acknowledge his discomfort, running a hand over his face trying to regain composure of himself, he sighed in to his hand. _'Not tonight, not with Sakura here, I promised her she'd have a good night. I can't get in to this right now. The night's not over and it's Sakura's night. I won't be the one to ruin it'_ swam his intoxicated conscience.

Completely elated that the encounter had ended and feeling very much disgruntled and ruffled all over. Kakashi ran a hand through his hair trying to return it, to the best of his ability, to its natural state post ungodly woman attack.

Eye now roaming the table he saw his friends to be completely out of it, each captured in a moment of bizzar facial and vocal reactions to each and other, though _'regardless of their demonic looking nature'_ they all appeared to be having a great time. On his side of the booth however there were now two vacant places, two bodies were missing, _'Sakura and Genma?'_ The rational side of him told Kakashi to remain calm and that _'Sakura, in her own right, is a capable woman.'_ So even if his immediate fears appeared before him to be true he shouldn't worry about Genma's tactically devious sway with women. Unfortunately for Kakashi his rational side didn't have the same footing and in the blur of his inebriated delirium he caught sight of the pair as Genma held out a hand to stroke Sakura's face. _'Genma. I didn't bring her here to be targeted by you, you bloody predator!'  
_

Yamato watched Kakashi over the table; following his eye line he too caught the situation by the bar. "Hmm Senpai, should we go over there and split that up?" he asked rather bluntly. Kakashi had wanted to say yes, but he knew he couldn't. _'It would just look wrong, everyone would get the wrong idea and Sakura would end up taking the brunt of the speculative jokes.'_ Though he theorized it would be quite entertaining to watch her react to the speculation… and truthfully be able to go over there and help Genma resemble a crumpled paper bag. "We'll just leave them be."

"Are you sure Senpai? Sakura's… never really had much practice dealing with men in this manner. She spends most of her time just working away." Yamato was always quite protective of Sakura in the same manner that of an older brother or close uncle. As unlike Kakashi he'd spent a considerable amount of time with her when she'd been a kid, helping her train and study for academic exams. It was harder for him to differentiate between the kid he reared alongside Tsunade and the now strong woman she had become. Kakashi had to almost grit his teeth to hold back his desire to up and wander towards the closely situated pair. "Sakura won't do what she doesn't want to do. There is not one man in this pub that could manipulate her in to doing well… that. Not even Genma" He responded flatly. Kakashi looked at Yamato now as his eyebrows stitched together with concern, "Yes, I know that Kakashi-Senpai, but she's drunk and their leaving the pub now." He paused, like Kakashi, Yamato was taken aback at the pair's progress across the pub floor. "I hope you're right Senpai, I really do." He concluded in a low murmur now as both of them watched the pub door swing to a close.

 _'Genma, if you touch her I swear i'm going to break your legs tomorrow - if i see you stepping out her door'_ was all Kakashi's thoughts could muster coherently as he buried his face in to his hands feeling defeated. Hopefully he had done the right thing, his stomach seemed to disagree however as he now felt like he'd somehow managed, against all logical probability, to swallow a rock in that last drink of his. Genma and him were good friends after all, he being one of a very few who actually knew the reach of his understanding for such social encounters with people close to him.

 _'Wither Genma thinks I'm a protective friend or an uncomfortable teacher in the mess of this doesn't matter. I just hope he understands me enough to know my friends aren't a game to be played with - and defiantly_ _not in front of me.'_

* * *

 **Replies:**

 _Lazy Porkchop_ – Can I just exclaim that when I got an update through saying I had reviews I was really unabashedly hyper! Thank you so much for your comments! I am really happy that you are enjoying the way I am writing up Kakashi so far. He's rather difficult to write because his character swings so violently and is a rather isolated and distant person. This makes it hard to write him as being considerate and caring without jeopardizing the original format of his personality. So your review really was brilliant to read. Thank you.

 _meganashleightalbott_ – Yo! ^.~ You have so much excitement I am worried I'll disappoint aha! Thank you so much for your review! I am so glad you are enjoying the story so far, hopefully this chapter won't be too much of a disappointment! ;)

 _Sparkle0001_ – Hey-o! Thank you for your support! *bounces about madly* ^.^

So I just wanted to say on whole thank you for the support, your words made me more adamant that I was going to update sooner. If that makes sense aha! Knowing you all have enjoyed what I've posted made it a lot easier to sit down and type away. I very much hope yous enjoy the chapter! I honestly can't thank yous enough! ^.^


	4. Life just slips in through a backdoor

**Song note:/** She Used To Be Mine by Sara Bareilles

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 _'Wither Genma thinks I'm a protective friend or an uncomfortable teacher in the mess of this doesn't matter. I just hope he understands me enough to know my friends aren't a game to be played with - and defiantly_ _not in front of me.'_

In the mess of the evening Kakashi risked another glance upwards to Yamato who was now taking on a weird and unhealthy looking pink hue. "Yamato, Yo!" Kakashi snapped his fingers lightly in front of the incredibly sulky face before him. Yamato turned away from the door now, eyes fixated on the table, "Senpai, why did we let her wander off with that all hands, no brain idiot?" Kakashi let out a long shallow sigh to give himself some time to piece his answer delicately together. "As far as I see it, who are we to follow them out that door, who exactly are we to think we have a right to interfere?" Yamato went to interrupt and Kakashi raised a single hand as if to shoo away Team 7's second captains voice. "I know why you're upset, but just think about how she would see it if we went and dragged that fool, toothpick and all, back in here. I personally think it would just be an insult on Sakura and her decisions." He concluded quickly as to let the almost hovering Yamato rattle off his own concerns. "I know Kakashi-Senpai, I know okay. It's just hard; I can't help the worry any more than you can." Kakashi felt himself pause in reflection of Yamato's words, a recurrent thought that maybe his comrade and his own worries over Sakura were in completely different corners of the world seemed to hold some buoyancy.

"Look, don't forget I know that Genma has built himself a collection of women, mostly likely enough to fill a small village. It's just..." he paused for a second, recollecting his spinning mind "I don't even know how to word this. Genma has been a… attraction as long as he's been old enough to understand the meaning behind the word. …Yamato… Oi!" Kakashi flicked a coaster off the table in the direction of the intoxicated nin "I'm talking, stop looking at the damn door!" the coaster dutifully bounced off Yamato's forehead with excellent precision.

Kakashi continued his stream of explanation on the given cue of Yamato's slightly rattled return to the conversation. Via newly, slightly wobbly, reaffirmed eye contact. "I've never known Genma to be one who has to drop as low as manipulation. I really don't want to say this but regardless of his ways he's always respectful."

"Well Senpai, I trust your judgment but in thinking about how you've dealt with that other guy in the medic team… wait what was his name?" Yamato slurred slightly his eyes growing quizzical of his own memory capacity.

Kakashi in this moment of silence looked down at the table to see his friend lift a finger only to extend a slim branch from it. Perplexed he watched as Yamato lifted his now extended finger, branch and all, up and in to his drink. _'Using his Wood Release as a way to stir his drink huh?'_ Kakashi thought slightly amused.

"Ah! Hosho! Yes! That's It! I'm sure Genma saw your ruthless calculus against him. That'll deter him for sure…" a great smile now broke across Yamato's face, eyes forever great and moon like now pooling with childlike glee.

"Wait, what? What did I do to him?" Kakashi was completely puzzled, he didn't even remember a medic called Hosho. Lifting his arm Yamato lightly pointed at Kakashi and chuckled, his makeshift stirrer for his drink dripping slightly on to the table. "Oh I remember Hosho's face so well. You walked right in to the room with Genma when he was running his mouth off about a date he had with Sakura." Yamato paused then continued in a small voice "well… that was at least tasteful until he started with that nonsense about her being small enough to lift and push against…" Yamato's face fell completely now as his brain clearly reminded him of too much of a conversation he had wanted to completely burn from his memory.

Though not fully Kakashi began to remember the interaction now, a snap shot of him bluntly stamping words declaring 'the importance of holding no ties, in the life of nin' in to Hosho's retina's and then the 'slightly unfortunate mission placements' he'd went and placed the medic-nin in, stirred excitedly on his surface thoughts. Laughing heartily at the memory Kakashi let himself be cheered up by Yamato's brilliantly awkward mind. Yet now watching a rather painful looking expression cross Yamato's face and feeling rather uncomfortable himself Kakashi felt it only right to end the story here.

"Ah, yes. I'm sure he enjoyed that mission of his in the catacombs of Nebria" was all the copy-nin said to gather an ending to Yamato's tale and his own, seemingly always wandering, destructive thoughts.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The evening air was cool, a gentle caress against her flushed face as they stepped out under the moonlight. Tumbling slightly she felt Genma take her hand with a sheepish look on his face, "I'd rather you not fall over until I get you back home…" then pausing somewhat as if to consider that something was missing from his sentence he continued "…and in front of your bed." Genma winked with a boyish grin now creasing his face, all too knowing of his words being loaded with double meanings. Sakura gave a nervous laugh, "If I didn't know any better" she prodded his chest now with her free hand "you would have me thinking..." but before she could finish her review of his words she stumbled forward, as if to run, but not willingly.

Both laughed loudly at her sudden rubber-doll like burst in movement. Advancing through the cobbled streets Genma had managed to quench his laugh enough to take in the minimum oxygen requirement to speak, "How did you manage to fall up a hill?"

"With great training..." Sakura hiccupped back in response with an arched eyebrow and an unabashedly bright smile. As if taking in some great piece of knowledge he nodded almost sternly like a great matter of importance had been resolved.

"I am completely surprised that we made it out of there with our heels intact." Genma prompted in a whimsically playful tone, like he had expected some great battle with the pub door. Sakura had thought at first he was making another joke only to see that a true look of abject relief graced his features, "What do you mean?" she asked needing elaboration.

Genma looked down at Sakura now with a warm smile, though she noticed his large brown eyes told of a different feeling. A distant worry seemed to linger there in the depths of his brown orbs, an ever relevant thought never relinquishing its iron cladded grasp. Sakura only could wonder why his eyes conflicted so much to his smile, and in her wonder found she was curious.

"You should have seen the looks."

"What looks?" Sakura queried, "From Yamato? Yeah he and I are close; I think he's just protective."

"No, not who I meant, but yeah I did see that." He laughed cheekily as if remembering her second captain's reaction.

Sakura leaned closer in to Genma's body as they turned in to the second way point to her home. He whispered now as if worried that some unseen demon lurked in the quite darkness of the avenues around them, "I was talking about Kakashi. I shouldn't really test him like this, I didn't mean to I just didn't think to go over and explain before we left." Genma's words seemed to come out too fast for Sakura to even attempt to decode what he meant by them.

"I'm sure he's fine Genma he won't even care, I don't know why you are so worried" Sakura laughed lightly now throwing a small comforting look upwards to Genma. The same look she realised sadly in her inebriated state, that she had so horribly needed to use on dying patients on the front lines of the war. _'Why did I use that expression?'_ Sakura flinched inwardly, completely revolted at the memories which now tried to claw their way to being. Though years had passed some things haunted her, like an ever present shadow. Be it external or internal shifts acting as great demonic manifestations of the war to end all wars. Sakura felt a mighty weight upon her chest build upon the memories, for in her psyche a war was still being fought, but not over the will of man, over her own guilt above the ruins of her fragmented soul.

On the eve of the battle as she sat with the first casualties of the fourth war Sakura had held the hands of many young men and women. Refusing to leave her post by their beds until the gods of all fates intervened taking the reins of power out with her grasp. She watched as the light of life flickered out engulfing those who were once alive in to eternal slumber. Within the Pain attack on the village before she hadn't fully recognised the complete unforgiving nature of war but when those first line casualties started peaking beyond the sheets in the medic tent life became a privilege, in all its unfathomably short glory. All life of every size, age, shape and form became a wonder in what had to be cherished and saved. But she couldn't save them all, and by her choices many had left the realm of living so she could be at the side of Naruto and Saskue to help end the war, this very fact was something which visited Sakura's mind even in her waking hours, _'all those ghosts, and all those faces…'_

Genma seemed to take in her pained flinching almost immediately leaving her only seconds to recover the conversation before lasting damages were made. _'This is why I don't drink much anymore, it's too dangerous.'_

"Look, Yamato's the one we're going to have to subdue. But I'm more than sure he'll be fine once he knows you were just helping me home." Genma didn't look convinced, at what point she'd made exactly Sakura didn't know _'Yamato or …Kakashi?'_

Until he spoke shyly, meeting her gaze softly with an uncomfortable tone to his whisper "he will care Sakura" – _'Kakashi?'_

"I…" Sakura went to express her lack of understanding only to feel a finger press down on to her lips as Genma slowed them to a stop. "Look I think I've said enough, let's just drop this and enjoy the rest of the walk" he smiled down at her apologetically. Nodding weakly Sakura relinquished her fuzzy curiosity to the cobbles as they now continued to walk.

The tress around them swayed slightly in the summer night breeze, the leaves of which rustling gently as if beckoning them onward. Cheerily zigzagging their way through the vacant streets they quickly found themselves closing in on the stairs leading to Sakura's flat, "Ah, here we are! We made it, and alive!" Happily flinging her free hand up in to the air - also lifting the one linked with his so he too could join in on the small victory. Genma cheered mutedly as to not wake the occupants of the other apartments ahead of them. Letting their linked hands swing back to the resting position between them Sakura and Genma continued towards the stairs. Walking to them proved uneventful but climbing them became quite formidable, each step a mountain, _'a rocky, wavering mountain!'_ Though a tediously difficult opponent they conquered the concrete steps eventually with Genma's sobering self being more abet in supporting Sakura's still wobbly form.

His hands were warm on Sakura's arms as he now placed himself behind her in a great foot of manoeuvring to ensure she didn't meet the stairs again tonight, and in a most horrible fashion. "Oh. It's chilly" Sakura shivered now, with the heat from Genma's body alerting her to the night's brisk chill, the alcohol no longer acting as a barrier. "Yes it is." He commented absently, running his hands up and down her bare arms to create heat from friction; she enjoyed his touch, revelling in the contact she had so long been without.

"What number are you Sakura?"

"Number seven"

"Right, onward we go!" he chirped happily, "Almost home".

As they approached her door, the wonky number seven shining in the light of the halls fluorescent bulb, which now buzzed dully within its aged and yellowing shade. Sakura thought about how comforting it would be to have Genma stay the night, to keep his warm hands on her as she lay down to sleep, to have him wrap himself around her and hold her tightly.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Genma Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

They'd agreed in the pub that they either had reached a horrible point in the night where alcohol consumption had to be delayed or stopped. Else some specific behaviour happens between them that they might not be too happy with in the morning.

Genma wasn't without wits completely, he knew her inhibitions to be low, and if he had pursued she may have wilted. Yet he relented as he always did, for Genma women weren't objects to be played with, but to be admired and gently handled. He was more than a willing participant but he'd felt whilst watching Sakura's reactions that she wasn't as liberal as him with such things and he would only act on clear response and decreased inebriation. Old fashion values, instilled by his father's teachings, seemed to hover somewhat in the back ground of his liberal ways conflicting them on nearly every turn. Though he greatly enjoyed the company of women, as his reputation suggested, Genma wasn't without his values and he wouldn't cross them in fear of hurting or shaming another in such an intimate way. Regardless of what those around the village thought of him through gossip he trusted that those friends he'd left behind in the pub, on mission to get Sakura safety home, would clock on to this trait. Forbid he face a hellish encounter with them tomorrow at the office, he cringed inwardly at the thought.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura pulled her key chain from her small shoulder bag rather quickly, to her surprise, _'I thought that would have been a lot more of a fight.'_ Lifting the key, she slid it in to the lock and let the door slide open, placing a searching hand inside she found the light switch just on the inside of the door. Flipping it, the area around them was immediately sparked in to the light from her hall, shadows of the night retreating. Sakura turned around on the spot to look back up at Genma properly now and recognised that his trademark singular toothpick was absent. For as long back as she could remember, it had been so for a while. _'Where did it go, I don't think I've ever seen him not chewing on one before?'_ Sakura's mind raced as if desperately trying to keep her from focusing so much on Genma's proximity and the spreading fuzzy warmth in her lower stomach.

The stillness between them was broken by Genma moving closer, as if to kiss her, "I'm going to be honest just now with you Sakura. If we were two strangers meeting in a very, very distant village I don't think there would be any power in the land that could prevent me from whisking you off your feet and…" he passed on further description. Frustrated! Sakura seriously considered that this was deliberately done as to leave the rest up to her imagination. Her skin tingled in anticipation, "why are there conditions?" she whispered in response as her heart raced. "Because ..." he huffed as if greatly annoyed and equally troubled by a singular fact "I have this horrible feeling that someone is sitting somewhere wanting to break my legs just now... and if I ever were to touch you…" he lifted a hand cupping her cheek, his thumb tracing over her lips. "I am pretty sure there is no power in the land that could stop him from having his way with my poor limbs" he let out an exasperated laugh as if at the mere thought of it actually occurring was to real.

 _'Wow,'_ she was astonished at his fear and respect for who she believed to be Yamato _'I know he's strong but he must be far greater than I realised to inspire that type of commitment.'_ Within her astonishment though, a lurking anger sparked at the protective aspects of Yamato and him now getting in the way of her enjoying a night of…

"Sakura, I'm going to let you get to the warmth of your bed now. It's been a pleasure…" Genma pulled away from her, Sakura's body shivered at the sudden absence. Standing completely in surrender to the moment which had just passed Sakura watched as Genma turned to leave.

"…but, he doesn't have to know." Was all she said, her voice small and trembling, Genma's back seemed to tense as he stopped mid step.

As if considering the proposal in her words Genma stood as if frozen, she waited with baited breath for his response. Then in a flurry of movement he melted, turning he groaned caving to the temptation, "urgh, what's a few broken fingers anyway?" Sakura didn't quite understand the meaning of his words before she felt herself being lifted off her feet and carried in to the hallway.

Genma pressed Sakura against the wall kissing her, then encouraging her to respond he separated his lips from hers only slightly as to bite lightly at her lower lip. Sakura did just that and just as hungrily. The kiss was deep and passionate; waves of euphoria travelled her body, her skin tingled feverishly. As one of his hands propped her up, the other gently travelled from playing with her hair too tracing her figure down to her hip.

As they pulled away for air Genma rested his forehead against hers, staring in to her eyes his face unabashedly full of content, he whispered "definitely worth it." They stayed like that, for what only seemed like an all too fleeting moment before Genma slowly settled a breathless and flushed Sakura back on her feet. "I'm going to have to go before we give in again; else I won't be leaving till the morning." He winked, a boyish grin crossing his face, all Sakura had in her was a small nod. Placing a light peck to her lips he stepped away again, "I'll see you around Sakura and" - a mischievous look now crossed Sakura's face as she interjected, "I know what you're going to say. Don't worry he'll never know" and feeling brave, trying to mimic his overuse of it, she winked back. Genma seemed to appreciate Sakura's bold action and chuckled heartedly, "Goodnight Sakura."

"Goodnight, Genma" she smiled as he softly pecked her on the lips again before making his leave for the final time.

Moving from her perched position against the wall Sakura moved to her door to close it before the cool air invaded her apartment any more than it already had. The night had been wonderful and thoughts of the conversations filled her with an elated feeling of companionship. Then as if waiting on the precipice of her mind, the image of the beautiful woman and of her sensei seared across her surface thoughts. Sakura didn't understand why the thought made her feel so uncomfortably ill, _'maybe it's the alcohol'._ She held a hand up to her head, feeling dizzy, _'I really need to get to my bed before I fall asleep standing.'_ As she moved through her apartment to her room the growing sense of urgency to go back to the bar and find out what exactly happened to them gnawed away, _'did they wander off together, maybe?'_ It now occurred to Sakura that she hadn't looked back over at the table since she had moved from it, _'I didn't even say goodnight, uncomfortable or not. They'll all think I'm so rude and..'_ then a feeling of shame bubbled up from her queasy stomach _'what must he think of me, leaving with Genma?'_ The idea of Kakashi being disappointed in her actions with Genma did not sit quietly within her, feeling so sickly nervous she sat on the edge of her bed holding her stomach tightly. _'If Kakashi knew I let his friend hold me like that and against the wall of all places with the bloody door open for all to see… How would he see me?'_ there was a violent and sharpened ferocity to her anxiety. The idea of Yamato being mad was easily absolved as protective anger and was not as much of a worry as losing the respect of her sensei. Anger can be tempted down, but respect once lost may never be found again. _'He's just a worrier and I'm a grown woman now, Yamato can't expect childlike situational problems any more'_ like she had promised Genma she wouldn't tell him anything anyway, but she would have to deal with his questions. With Yamato, Sakura knew that she would never have to worry about losing respect not in that fashion, he just wasn't that type of person to react in that manner. But Kakashi, she had seen him in the past not with anger but with eerily calm sincerity forfeit his respect for people. Once he had forfeited it due to their actions he not only passed them off, _'he nothings them, a far greater punishment'_.

Sakura sat there on the edge of her bed for a while, in the darkness, half undressed and ready for sleep. After the darkness of her bedroom started to light up, only but a touch of _'dawn'_ shading the lines and angles within the room, Sakura realised she had to force herself to lie down. Her body needed rest and she had to find some way to slow down those panicky thoughts of hers, _'I have to trust him'._ For that's all she could do, no voice was going to come to her rescue to tell her all was fine. All she could do to calm herself was to think of their friendship and reassure herself that if he had ever come close to walking away from her, _'it would have been years ago, just after the war was won  
_

 _… when I kissed him.'_

* * *

 **Replies:**

 _Cherryflowerblossoms_ – Hey! Ah! Awesome! Thank you! Hope you enjoy this one. :)

 _Porkchop's Little Ditty_ – Aha, it's cool. Your name is awesome by the way! – Yeah I completely agree with what you are saying. The only reason I'm feeling kinna hard done by when writing interactions out is making sure they stay true to those characters and not my own interpretation when and if avoidable. Thank you so much for your review, when I was writing up this chapter it made me more aware of when to use descriptions. There aren't a lot in this one though when I think about it but my excuse is everyone is drunk and they are too distracted to take in anything – plus the environments haven't changed since the last chap. :P I'm really glad you've stuck with me through the last ones and I hope you enjoy this new chapter! ^.^


	5. Hello love, for you I have so many words

**Song Note** :/ I Forget Where We Were by Ben Howard

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The daylight streamed across the room harshly, rolling over in his bed to advert his sore eyes from the hellish sunlight, Kakashi pulled the sheets over his head. Not wanting to move from his comfortable haven he sighed upon the recollection of what he had to do today that he'd so happily ignored for the last two. _'Tsunade needs that damn report from the mission; I need to go in to the office before three'_ , though Shizune had been forgiving over the last few late entries he was sure that his luck was running dry somehow. It may have been that look she gave him or the once beautiful blue vase on the window of the assistant's office being savagely smashed just above his head that seemed to whisper a foreboding doom to him, but he couldn't quite decide which. Swinging his long legs out of the side of the bed he cursed himself for not closing the blinds last night before he had settled. Once the bed sheet slid from its place with a gentle tug Kakashi let his eyes slowly and painfully adjust to the bright room around him. A very disturbing image of a very unconscious and bound Yamato greeted his sharpening vision, _'what?'_ Kakashi only stared in wonder trying to reason why his subordinate lay on his floor snoring away, in ripped clothes, bound by thin combat wire against the bottom of his closet. _'What the hell happened?'_

Faint recollection wisped at the edges of his foggy mind, he couldn't recall all that had happened after Sakura left but some highlights remained, murky, but existent. When they had left the bar at closing Kakashi remembered Yamato's flippant outburst and dedication to tract down and murder… _'Genma?'_ declaring an unofficial war on his friend loudly in to the night, Yamato pulled out a blunted kunai and in steadfast speed started to make his way towards the avenue which led eventually to Sakura's apartment. Kakashi had grappled Yamato for what had been a good twenty minutes before issuing the ultimatum of "Yamato, if you don't put that Kunai down I'm going to tie you up and leave you on my floor for the night."

 _'You really should have put the kunai down.'_

Kakashi would have laughed at the ridicules memory had the outcome of Sakura's evening not troubled him. Now in his, groggy but, fully sober state he couldn't rush his nerve's off under a canopy of alcohol. It had crossed his mind last night to let Yamato go free, thus if _'anything'_ were happening it would be most awkwardly ended. But now looking down at the uncomfortable looking nin on his floor he reasoned to himself that it had been better to call off what would have been a; broken door; a fractured friendship; and a bloodthirsty medical nin with the mother of all punches being rained down upon them.

Running a hand through his messy silver hair Kakashi wondered to himself exactly what the hell he was going to do with Yamato. Then something caught his eye and too his absolute abject horror he found a most terrible sight.

1st edition of the second book in the trilogy, the delectable _Icha Icha Baiorensu,_ signed by its late author Jiraiya lay at the mercy of Yamato. His head propped up by the cherished object with diabolical angling, as with unrelenting almost bestial savagery now fell Yamato's drool upon its unprotected binding.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed slowly.

There would be no mercy.

Taking a deep breath whilst lifting himself from the bed he took a steady, silent step forward.

" _Konohagakure Hiden Taijutsu Ōgi: Sennen Goroshi!"_

From outside in the streets circulating the copy-nin's apartment birds fled from tress, babies started to cry and several stray cats leapt high in the air at the volcanic eruption, and yet people swear in the middle of what could only be described as devastating wrath there was one large and pitiful scream.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura awoke from her sleep, her eyes burning in rejection of the summer sun so violently flooding her room. Taking a moment to recover from the assault she slowly let her eyes focus, casting them downward to address the floor, finding it littered with her clothing from last night. Sakura groaned, now feeling sickly and extremely dehydrated _'I need water'_ ; her mouth was so dry it brought about a terrible tingly feeling of pain. Sliding her small pallid frame slowly from under the singular daisy yellow bed sheet Sakura stood up very carefully as to address the state of her balance. Which at first wobbly became steady upon crossing the threshold of her bedroom door and in to the darkened cooler embrace of the hallway, _'a place where the stupid light can't reach, damn this summer, it's never ending.'_ Grumbling she used the wall as a key balancer to reduce the likelihood of a stumble and the effort needed to walk. Not surprisingly she felt exhausted, the hours she'd captured to sleep hadn't been enough for her body _'life calls though'_ , and sleep was never within grasp, _'it must've been the alcohol that let me sleep.'_ On the thought of alcohol Sakura's mind filled with the memories of the past night, the loud intoxicating swing to the conversation and bustle of the pub to the memories shared and gained from the words spoken between _'old comrades and new friends.'_

What a great night it had been, a soft smile gently crossed her tired face, _'thank you sensei, thank you for the noise.'_ Her smile faltered, _'what am I going to do?'_ she had just left him there without word or wave. Head slightly sore she chose to aptly ignore the bothersome worry which now tried it's footing in her stomach. The need for water, the ever consuming priority, led her to the sink, like a beckoning siren called from the faucet hanging above it.

After recovery methods through a cool pint of water and an ever soapy lukewarm shower Sakura found she felt freshly free from dizziness as she slid in to her kit. The touch of Genma's kiss ever present on her mind, for as troubling the kiss had been to any foundation for friendship, it had been a good one. Though the worry and pending stress over Yamato's reaction and Kakashi's disapproval bubbled under the surface of it, _'I'll likely see him today.'_ A thought about asking her sensei about Kayo crossed her mind but as quickly as it had occurred it dissipated in to nothingness, _'I best not ask stupid questions, les I get an answer I really don't want.'_ Shaking her head she tried to dismiss thoughts that only burrowed deeper in to her psyche. _'Why does this bother me so much?'_ Dropping her small frame on to her patched blue sofa Sakura let out a disgruntled groan, burying her face in her hands. One thing was abjectly clear to her about Kakashi and Kayo, if they weren't currently, they were definitely lovers at some point _'and recently…'._ That last thought stayed with her a while, as if echoing through a deprecate house it vibrated back to her off the walls of her mind. _'It's not like he's forbidden to have relationships, he's a grown man. An adult man! Of course he would, what did I expect?'_ This decrepitate house within her mind seemed to hold ghosts, as an old memory whirled on through her thoughts.

 _'After all that kiss… that night it must've meant nothing to him at all. Maybe?'_

Sakura's heart lazily thudded in her chest, drumming no more than a hammer would against glass. _'How could he let me see that, after everything... everything that we've been through? How much he knows me, of everything I am. Why, Kakashi?'_

It occurred to her for a second time, that she hadn't looked back at the table before she vacated the bar with Genma. _'Maybe she left'_ a fleeting hopeful thought - quickly brought down to size _'or maybe they left together'._

As Sakura sat now with her head in her hands feeling fresh tears brushing her palms from the tips of her eyelashes she managed to organise her thoughts. _'I feel betrayed. But I don't understand why. Why am I torturing myself? Kakashi-Sensei won't leave me. I trust him. So this, what I'm feeling right now isn't justified. He's betrayed no one as nothing has been broken, he hasn't played me false._ ' With a wounded grimace Sakura stood up, and focused her mind on the long day ahead.

Today she needed to find her way to the office to discuss with Tsunade her return to work. After such a large absence from field work through holidays, as the Hokage noted them down as, she now felt her time for rest was over.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura: 2 Years Ago ~the end of the war Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The war had ended; the world grew silent, in beautiful harmony with the dead. It was never going to be a victory, for what victory could be found in the corpses of their comrades, what victory could be found in the ashes of their legacy? None, for the dead don't talk and could never return home to the loved ones left so cruelly behind. On what earthy dimensions would another cry out in euphoric wonder with the still ember framed in flame cloth and timber surrounding their every step? It had been a massacre, and though the world reendowed to its safety amongst the allies, its soils reeked of the death that had swung its great and mighty scythe through it.

Sakura followed her division back through the woodland towards the camp, her feet heavy and dragging noisily along the rocky gravel of the footpath. Silence had followed the third division from the now eradicated front line. All medical emergencies had been pulled through the collective centre of the shinobi force. Sakura had been simply told by an exhausted and aged looking Tsunade to follow her troops homeward, "You have had too much of this battle. You can no longer provide any more useable charka without signing off on your own damaged organs. …Don't give me that look Sakura, move!"

Respectfully glad of her removal from duty she had made her way to the edge of the rocky terrain trying to desperately with anxious sickness to escape the blood stained battle ground. For so long had she placed her hand on the bodies of the wounded, decrepit fragile bodies beyond any earthly intervention, she just wanted to rest among the living, even if only for a night.

The sky above shown with furious brilliance, it's stretching entrails of the becoming spring littering the woods around them with vibrancy and colour. It seemed almost revolting, almost so disgustingly potent in its awe of primary fuse with the gentle chirps of birds and rustling of forestry life. Who could have imagined the will of the forest continuing? If they had died there in their catacombs of unreality, the world would have just continued on. This thought equally beautiful as it was sad echoed through her as she continued to follow the figures ahead.

Without prompt or spoken explanation the crowd ahead of her now split away from each other, the figures of the exhausted men and women dispersing in to the four corners of what now appeared to be their old camp _'Ah, we're here.'_

Some tents had lilted in their neglected state, food was missing and the earthquakes erupting from the front lines had somewhat most likely been responsible for the toppling of the bricked fire pit in the centre.

Sakura could only stare in abject disbelief and as an ever encroaching sheath of numbness enthralled her senses she thought _'It's over, all of it. It's done. We survived. Team 7 survived'_ the settling nihilism within her fought most violently back trying to stop the conversion of her psyche from afraid to at rest.

The war was over and so was the dark shroud of panic through patented screams. No longer were nights going to shatter down the wooden splinters of her cornered off dream state. Sakura would finally be able to let her head fall upon her sleeping quarters and be rid of the exhaustive weight of her mind until sunrise, or so she thought.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow for the village of the leaf, allies you are more than welcome to follow if wished. 5am sharp for those wanting to venture with us." Kakashi stood now at the centre of it all; the figures around him gave a knowing nod in reflection of their understanding of the silver haired nins proposal.

Sakura only felt her body move somewhat weakly, abject from the world around her. She was so tired, just so tired of the entire struggle, her body ached for the stillness of a comfy bed.

* * *

The night came quickly like some great star speckled blanket had been draped across the tops of the surrounding tress. Cool air travelled through the camp, wistfully on the back of lightly showering rain, which now musically tapped away on the rain-covering of Sakura's tent, the soft breeze making presence from the untied entrance. Sakura lay awake with tired eyes staring at the gap in the entrance, as if mesmerised with the colours that filtered through. Though the rain had broken from the night sky the men and women of the third division kept a fire burning under the canopy of one of the larger tress, which lay close to her tent. Beautiful reds, golds and oranges danced in symmetry across the sheltering cloth, as if the tent itself were alive with colour, it was a peaceful wonder to her heavy eyes. Sakura couldn't sleep; her mind was rotted with the death that she had seen, with the lives that had passed under her hands, under her orders. This was the first war she had witnessed, and no matter the words of the elders who had lived the horrors before, no comfort awaited the mind of a doctor who couldn't forget the faces of her patients.

Love had carried her through; love for her friends, her mum and dad, for the village that had been so horribly reduced to timber and destroyed. Home was a sanctuary she would defend to the grave, for all the fire in her soul, she would make it so that all those in Konoha would no longer fear. Yet, tonight after all such things were silenced to safety, as she lay in the glow of victory from the campfire outside her tent. Noise bubbled through, almost carried and equally muted by the raindrops that were clearing away the humidity. The sounds of vivacious laughter, of happiness and joyous reunion played with her emotions. Sakura had wanted to sleep tonight but found she couldn't, it wasn't the noise outside, Naruto desensitized her years before. Neither was it the physical ache of her body, but the horrid chatter of the inner voice of her ever wrecked and regretful self. This voice was so vile, so full of hatred; it bounced across her mind like a leech desperate for blood _'you should've done better, people died that should still be here. It's your entire fault that they won't be home, that their families will never see them. Some of them were fathers, mothers, their children will never see their faces again. It's your entire fault. You don't even deserve to be the mess you are, stop being so selfish! You got everything you wanted. You do not know suffering.'_ On and on went the trial of deprecation, as she continued to stare at the tent opening. Maybe she had left it untied out of stupidity, or forgetfulness from the stress she had filtering through her or maybe in the back of her mind she'd hoped someone would come find her. Isolation is a horrible consequence of self-contempt and a tenacious powerful demon, so maybe somewhere, Sakura had hoped, deep down that if she found herself in the darkness with such a demon. Without bulb or flame, someone would come running with matches to light the way back home.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura: Present Day Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

After a difficult stumble to pull on her black boots Sakura found herself emerging in to the heat of the summer, the air was heavy again with the smell of dust and casted dirt from the pathways. Even before she reached the bottom of the stairway leading to the streets she could hear the noise and commotion of the lunch hour. Slowly streamlining herself in to the hustle of the crowd with one shallow breath as she stepped out from the stillness of her apartment blocks pathway. She began to feel anxious again. Today was the day; she had decided it was the day where she would return to work. It had taken her so long to gather together the fragments of her mental state. Naruto and Sasuke had moved on in their lives, with Naruto finding love with Hinata and Sasuke forsaking all connections and disappearing again without a fleeting wave or any meaningful goodbye. Here the world turned for everyone but her, the lives of those she kept rank with moved quicker and in to more stable lasting comfort. Last night had been an eye opener to all the things Sakura lacked, friends, a social life and meaning. In overcasting viewing she couldn't neglect the presence of Kakashi and the many times he'd let her initiate combat and silly squabbles. For those times had been the only times where she hadn't felt the ghosts, the worries or the icy grip of self-pity. Yet, she acknowledged that regardless of all efforts made by her sensei she still felt like a complete burden. Today had to be the day, she had to rise from the hell she'd sat in for so long, no longer would she be the lonely figure in his life and her own.

Shakely walking towards the large, yet supremely magnificent Hokage main office building Sakura kept up her stride. As so direly she wanted to see the return of her stubborn self, the self who wouldn't take no for an answer, the self who would take the greatest challenge and dilute it to no more than a child's puzzle, for so long it had been gone. In all the tired self-analysing she had realised that it was this self that she had been so long been suppressing that she sorely missed, and after years she had come to the terms with the fact that no one was going to give it to her, she had to find it herself.

Moving through the crowd careful as to not get in the way of those around her Sakura took planned and delicately timed steps away and around the crowds. The glass planes of the entrance doors glistened in the sunlight, beckoning her in yet also leaving a distinct feeling of _'there's no going back now.'_ Flustered from the heat of the sun, the booming crowds and her bustling nerves she placed a hand on one of the glass doors and stepped in to the air conditioned, immaculately clean registry. It was almost completely vacant except for a particular crowd of Jonin.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura: 2 Years Ago ~the end of the war Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The stillness of the large tent around her seemed in complete opposition to the hum of noise outside. Lifting away from the pillow now in defiance of the painful throbs form her aching joints Sakura sat up in her bed. Letting her short pale legs dangle off the edge she shuffled herself towards the border of the folding metal framed camp bed, as to let her feet reach the grassy ground. The grass felt heavenly brazen and real, the dry earth beneath it solid and reaffirming to the reality of the moment. Staring now at her feet she let herself become transfixed with the way the grass folded and framed around them. Not noticing the warm lining of tears streaking her cheeks or the shifting of the tent fabric being pulled from its slightly open position to let a tall figure slide inside.

"Sakura?" a soft voice caressed the stillness around her.

Startled but equally weighted with exhaustion, completely forfeit, shattered and in need of rest she lifted her head slowly with great effort to meet the eyes of the tall figure.

"Yes, Sensei?"

Maybe he noticed the vacancy of any type of trousers and the presence of only a singular large top to cover her undergarments - or maybe it was her tears. Whatever the reason the famous copy-nin had stalled before entering, that much was obvious in the way his eye travelled so quickly from her eyes to her legs and back again. "I wanted to check on you. You didn't tie the knot of your tent, thought that maybe you weren't in bed yet."

He had replaced his war torn gear with a different set which was clean and completely free of tares, blood and dirt, his left eye was still covered behind his headband such as his face behind a mask. _'I think I understand why you wear a mask now Sensei. If only I could hide my face as well.'_

Sakura would have cringed to be seen in such a vulnerable state in front of him hadn't they shared so much time and proximity over the last couple of months. As the war had raged on at night when Kakashi returned from the front lines for the third division, as marked by Shikaku, there had been so few places left to sleep. Gender segregation was common in war camps but with the following factor of medic division they became unregulated as an abundant need for health proficiency came first before the need for separation of sex. After a few days of sleeping outside, Kakashi was politely forced to receive constant medical attention within indoor sleeping quarters. Or in better words as said by Sakura: "Get into that tent! Get some sleep! And try to recover, or else ill force feed you my very own food pills". Only after a great deal of blushing and an accidental walk in while changing did Sakura realise the tent she had indicated was her own.

She had found herself rather put out at first about his lack of asking her if she had a place, because after all these years surely he should have known she wouldn't see him out in the cold. Yet she placed it down to the factor that she was a woman and that Kakashi was just too polite and respectful to put her in any such position that she'd have to give her privacy away.

On the thought of this Sakura's eyes drifted from his gaze and onwards to the mirroring fold out metal framed bed in front of her. _'It's been such a long journey, and here you've been so close to me all this time.'_

In the firelight landscape of the enclosing borders of the large tented area Kakashi made his way quietly towards its centre to sit on his bed. After a few moments of silence she managed to speak again, yet only slightly above a bated whisper "Sorry, Sensei I really don't feel much like talking right now." Kakashi gave a slow, singular nod and went to stand back up from his recently obtained place across from her but as he did Sakura reached out a hand to grab at the end of his sleeve - and for the first time properly met his eye. "Please." She choked out; desperate for air "can you stay with me a little longer?" Large green sorry filled eyes, glistening with fear looked up at him. The same eyes that had greeted him so many mornings in the reflection of the bathroom mirror when his father had passed, that same look of retched guilt. "I'm being stupid." Sakura pulled away her clutched hand from his sleeve, returning it to her side. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed you like that" shaking her head dismissively she placed her head in hands, refusing to look at him any longer. The stress of war had beaten her so badly to the ground that her body seemed to reflect the internal mental healing that she needed to survive. Sakura's pale chapped, cut and bruised hands now ran through her thinning pink hair only to return to her face so she could continue to hide.

"Sakura?" She didn't respond to his prompt at first, out of the fear of rejection and her need to reach out for him. The fragile frame of her body seemed to only look smaller in the utterance of her name once again. Unmoving from the static state of being Sakura seemed to freeze herself giving no reaction to Kakashi's continued presence in front of her.

Yet, unfathomably warm tears began to fill her eyes, spilling through the gaps in-between her fingers. Sakura could no longer hide. No matter her silence, all that worry and fear, the physical manifestation of it made itself known, being completely now beyond her control. A horrid, wretched cry bubbled so painfully in her chest it seemed to roll down her rib cage from her heart like a great ruthless animal.

The bed to her left side shifted down as a weight made itself known on to it, _'he didn't leave?'_ A gentle hand slid over her shoulder as another went to prompt up her chin free from the enclosure of her hands. Sakura let Kakashi guide her head from her hands, only to lock eyes with him, "It's okay to be lost Sakura. A victory doesn't mean the cost of war was worth it. But it's important that you understand that the means in which we achieve it are just as important as the overall victory itself." He paused, but only slightly "I can see that look in your eye. That same look I saw haunting my reflection for years. You can't hold on to those ghosts forever Sakura, because if you do, you're done and you're better than that, and so much stronger."

Kakashi was normally a man made of three faces, serious, happy and tardiness yet tonight he sat aside her with a most peculiar look hidden under the coverings of his mask and headband - one of abject truth and understanding. His gaze unmoving he let his hand lift from its place on her chin to wipe a stray falling tear away. "If you'd told me I wouldn't have let you sit alone" was all he said after removing his hand from her face.

"I couldn't have asked" Sakura responded her voice but a whimper.

Taking a deep breath he closed his eye and seemed to contemplate something. After a moment of stillness he opened his eye again and reached out his hand to brush back her pink hair from over her face. Tucking it behind her ear Kakashi responded in a flat tone "I should've noticed", Sakura only stared back giving a slight nod in understanding but not in full agreement.

"You know Sensei, I've been here all night." Sakura's mind raced but in this moment now she felt she had some courage to tell him "and I couldn't work out why I didn't knot the tent shut, why I didn't want to go out and why I'm still awake" she paused as if willing herself to continue on with what she worried was fast becoming unintelligible emotional jargon. "Aside from all the stuff that's happened I just wanted some time with you before I could settle down. I don't know why. I really don't …but I wanted to talk to you before I could rest" She let out a nervous breathy laugh, "It's just been such a long time since we've been able to sit down."

Kakashi's eye seemed to soften as if remembering the nights they had spent recollecting on the day's before, a smile crept somewhere underneath his mask. It had seemed to them such a world away now, all those nights together talking, in the dark aside each other in their beds. Through all the difficult decisions they had made during the day and all the stupid little inaccuracies within every plan. "It does seem so far away now" he responded in a low and wistful tone. In fact it had only been the span of a week yet those days had seemed a millennia away to both of them, for all that happened within them time had been distorted.

With the fiery colours of victory haloing them both from the celebrating camp outside, Sakura took in Kakashi's profile. After all that horror he remained before her stable and liberated from the chains of death and of grief, _'but I can see something else there, things just don't quite fit with how calm he is against what he's just been through'._ Sakura had seen it slithering through when he'd locked eyes with her; the war was like a great coiled snake, and its venom had found its way in to both of their veins.

The poison needed removed, the burden lifted, they both had to heal.

…and maybe, just maybe in this secluded corner of this very small and damaged world they could heal each other.

With a nervous desperation Sakura reached out carefully towards Kakashi. Letting her small battle worn hand delicately caress his cheek; pulling him gently closer with the other, she slowly hooked her fingers into his mask, and with a single elated sigh she leaned inwards.

* * *

 **Note:** Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I've just started back at Uni and the work load is massive. I had a lot of fun writing this though and it provided me with much needed stress relief. I am afraid this may be the last time I post until after my exams, which are in May. I might post before then, I might not but I do promise I will be working away at a chapter in-between that time. As I said before I am having too much fun writing this to leave it in any type of peace aha. Anyway I hope everyone had a great new year and xmas! ^.^

 **Replies:**

 _Cherryflowerblossoms:_ Hey! First off thank you for your review! ^.^ *highfive* Genma is a sweetie! He loves the ladies but is respectful, and that's what's important, plus his primary desire to keep himself from getting a savage brutalising from Kakashi and Yamato. He was good though for holding back from Sakura's pursuit. :P I really love dropping in to Yamato's character, he really just wants to keep her safe and secure. It's such a shame cause he's fighting a losing battle against the life, the village and Sakura's fiery ways aha. :P ~ Okay, so originally I intended for the explanation of the kiss to be later on in the story but it felt more natural to continue on from this point with an explanation. Technically it was your review that spurned this idea forward as it made me start to critique my structure aha figuring out if there was any other way to place the 'kiss scene' and well I found it. :P So really I could be like.. well this chapter is for you aha. e.e

 _Sparkle0001:_ hehe but cliff-hangers are just so much fun to write.*evil laugh* hope you like this new chapter! Sorry for the wait.. University is a butt.

 _deBrumbled:_ Thank you so much for your compliments. I really am so glad that you enjoy my writing! Honestly, your review was wonderful and gave me confidence to continue on with the story. ~ Yeah my spelling and grammar are actually horrible that's why I have a proof reader - that's next to useless at the moment because he's busy. Yet to be fair he works and I get too excited to post things between his availability so that's my fault completely. :P I hope you enjoy this next chapter! ^.^


	6. Pulling away it took everything I had

**Song note: /** Lost In You by Three Days Grace

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi: 2 Years Ago ~the end of the war Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

From the slight pull of a wandering hand on his side, to the tense claustrophobic block of vacant air separating them Kakashi had begun to realize that his mask wasn't as high now as Sakura's thumb traced his exposed cheekbone. Exhilaration burned deep inside the core of his stomach as she pulled down his mask slowly, as if treading on a lake of ice cracked by a spring dawn. Kakashi was in shock, a numbness overcame him so enthralling it seemed to him that he'd stumbled upon a dreamscape with his wakened eyes. Yet, her hand was so real against his face, so warm and delicate, with the calluses upon the tips of her chakra burned fingers so sweetly abrasive.

There was a pause and with it his thoughts swam _'this long road behind us, we've travelled it together for so long now and it will be lost to us for good Sakura. Do you understand this, is this what you really want?'_ He would never speak these words to break the moment, they simply just didn't need to be said. Emerald eyes still glistening with past tears gazed in to his now, and he back into them, _'She already knows and she's already decided'._

Looking small and lost yet aware, and completely alive Sakura's eyes left his own, and only for but a moment they traced every part of him – really seeing him, for what would be the first time, as if it were her last. Tingling warmth spread across his cheeks under her wandering eyes, he felt remarkably exposed for a grown man who was indeed very much completely clothed. In all efforts he couldn't remember the last time that someone had seen him without his mask, and though aware that he wasn't one for shyness and that women hadn't recoiled in abject horror from him in the past. This situation, was foreign to him, it felt intimate and completely unlike those times almost forgotten. Kakashi waited now for a reaction that never came in the form anticipated - Sakura met his eyes again and a beautiful smile blossomed before him.

When her soft lips gently met his own the world around him grew still, his mind fell silent, and the voice ever poison within him was gone. As if it were only ever a sickness before a cure. This wasn't contact between two bodies, this was intimacy and he felt it burn at him inside, a smoldering fire, like soft embers across a winter's sky. Falling deeper into the kiss the numbness which had previously held him captive now relented, he began to take back control.

Placing his left hand gently upon her hip and lifting the other to the back of her head, entwining it within her hair Kakashi pulled her small frame closer. Sakura's hand had dropped from his face and now joined the other in its pursuits. Tugging at his vest she unzipped it, then began motioning it in attempt to pull it off his back. Exasperated at the need to break contact he let out a disgruntled groan and stopped, helping her discard the piece to the grassy floor. Rashly he pulled off both the blue long-sleeved shirt and mask alongside it, discarding them to the same spot on the grass. Forbid he had to pull away again for the sake of another piece getting in her way.

Before Sakura's eyes could adjust to the new sight before her, Kakashi regained the ground he'd previously vacated, _'she'll just have to see with her hands'_ ran his tumbling thoughts as his heart raced. Delicately Sakura warped her arms around his naked torso and began to lower herself on to the bed, applying a small pressure on to his back as to guide him down with her. Intertwined and immersed within the depths of unexplored passion they held tightly to each other, as if at any moment should one of them let go the spell would be broken, and the new road before them lost forever.

Sakura wiggled slightly to free her legs from under his weight, wrapping them cautiously around his waist, and as if by some primal implicit memory one of his hands seemed to remember that she was only wearing a large shirt. Salaciously his hand ran up her exposed thigh, caressing the smooth skin he teased. Passing her underwear, though pausing to feel the fabric, he began to explore the curve of her hip. Kakashi felt her shiver under him and he opened his eye to delight in the response, and with their noses still touching the kiss was brought to a slow and gentle end. Before he continued he wanted to see that longing in her eyes, that final confirmation that he was allowed to roam her body, freely and unrestricted. Sakura as if to strengthen a resolve and to communicate that resolve to him, lifted a hand to his head protector and in a single swift tug undid the knot, pulling it from his head she dropped it to the grass.

Green eyes now met with grey as they both searched for an answer within the other. In the depths of green Kakashi found he now knew with certainty just exactly what kind of intimacy she was longing for. Yet, as she lifted herself from the pillow to connect their lips again, he pulled back as if in doubt. There was something else there, flickering alongside the hunger in her eyes, it was throwing him off as he just couldn't place it. That look on her face ever telling of two coarsening emotions inside, each in complete contrast to the other, and as he tried to decipher it he watched her expression change in to one of abject horror and embarrassment. As her attention snapped in the direction of the tent opening, to the sound of someone entering.

"Senpai! Sakura-Chan!" Yamato's shocked calls filled the once quite privacy, a brutal intrusion shattering what seemed only to be in the end a delicate dream. As this is when it hit him, right in the middle of this horrible moment of discovery. Laying in an extremely suggestive position, caught by his horrified subordinate, he had figured it out. That almost indecipherable variable - Sakura was young and inexperienced. A wave of guilt washed through his consciousness, as her teacher and mentor he had almost taken something that could never be returned. Slowly he lifted himself from his position on top of Sakura, standing up off the bed markedly without reaction or sound. Grabbing his shirt from the grass and shoving it on roughly, he turned now to a pale looking Yamato. "Next time you enter a tent announce your presence" he said stiffly "We can talk about this another time. Sakura I'm sorry, I shall arrange for new sleeping quarters for tonight. Until then Yamato I would appreciate some time". With this Kakashi stepped out of the tent and into the shadows cast by the fire. As he stared back into the tent flap for a fleeting moment, a deep sadness filled him and as he moved through the woods he approached a safe distance, where he sat until morning considering what he had just lost.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi: Present Day Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

After Yamato's attempt to flee his wrath failed Kakashi found himself quite dehydrated and hungry. The unexpected morning exercise of detangling Yamato from the electric cable lines to the block outside wasn't something his hungover body wanted to deal with. Thus with the two of them back inside via the window as entrance, he began to cook breakfast or what was now an early lunch. This shortly after a quick glass of water and the freeing of his subordinate from the combat wire that was still knotted around his limbs.

Leaning against the kitchen door frame Yamato sheepishly watched him now, as if unsure wither to leave, come in, help or talk – every social reaction would of course be scrutinized by the nervous captain Kakashi figured. For someone so powerful and sincere in his job, out with it, sometimes his understanding of situations were rather childlike.

Kakashi had known him since he was a child and had only watched as this seemingly bi-polar character appeared overtime. Years under the socialization process of Danzo's Foundation then the Anbu had seemingly left a conflict in Yamato's personality that tended to arise sometimes, such like in situations like this. Kakashi reasoned with himself that his friend originally was meant to be a man of warmth and empathy yet through the trials of his life had been forced in to the mold of a calculative and emotional distant soldier. In this the conflict was nurtured, as the heart was suppressed by the mind and the child Tenzo grew to be a man born of the institutions; of facts and rules, Yamato of the Anbu and 2nd Captain of Konoha's Team 7.

"Come in" he said chirpily "Nothing's going to happen, the books safe now and if I was still mad I would've left you out there" taking a moment to laugh lightly at the thought, he flashed a boyish smirk in Yamato's direction. "Alright, alright" the awkward wood-release nin waved his hand slightly as if trying to dismiss his nervous disposition, "Do you need help with that?" The slightly dazed looking brunette motioned in the direction of the counter. "No. It's fine, it's just toast. You could put the kettle on boil and make us both a coffee if you're so willing?" and without word Yamato did just that and after a few minutes of preparing on both ends they sat now at the small kitchenette table with a plate of toast between them and the freshly brewed coffee's cooling in the mugs adjacent to it. As if quizzing himself internally Yamato had a face like he was about to ask him something dangerous. Kakashi, with practiced ease, began eating trying to ignore it, _'here it comes'_ was all he thought already feeling rather fed up.

"So do you want to talk about last night?" Yamato finally offered him in a carefully light tone. In attempt to divert the topic Kakashi knew his subordinate was trying to explore he mused back, after finishing a bite of the slice of toast he had grabbed "what your blood thirsty declaration of war against Genma, or the lost game of charades against Anko?"

Grumpily Yamato interjected, "You know what I mean, Senpai. I'm concerned – you forget I'm the only one who knows what's happened between you two." Sitting back in his chair, pulling away from the table slightly Kakashi ran a hand roughly through his messy silver hair, feeling uncomfortable. It was true Yamato was the only one, which was really unfortunate for both of them - him because he could always be straight with Yamato, making it extremely hard to brush him off and for Yamato because of his closeness to both Sakura and himself. Yet, here they were once again, years after the situation which had originally inspired these conversations, exerting damage control. It was getting tiring and wearing them both down, but for entirely different reasons.

"…and you are really okay with what happened?" he continued trying to place his words as if fitting together a complicated puzzle "How could you let her leave with him, Senpai?" Kakashi lifted a hand too gently signify to his subordinate to stop, a simple warning that he was about to approach that line again "Leave it Yamato."

An expression crossed his subordinates face now, an expression that he would have preferred never to have seen, sympathy – a drained look that seemed to summarize Yamato's perfectly respectful understanding for what Kakashi was trying to bury, but there was still pity hidden in there as well and the copy-nin didn't appreciate that specific emotion at all.

As if his reaction to the forward nature of Yamato's question had taken a physical form, the now certainly worried brunette seemed to come to an enlightenment about what was wrong with his approach. Trying to alter it he nodded accepting the warning – "what do you plan to do?"

Kakashi paused, bringing himself closer to the table again he propped his elbow on its surface and rested his head in his hand, he stated un-emotively "nothing." Yamato shook his head disapproving, "you know that's not an option" taking a deep breathe he continued "the more she comes out of that place she'd resigned herself to for the last two years, the more she's going to get noticed Senpai."

Scratching at the hair on the back of his head Yamato progressed, nervous but assured that the concern he carried really had to be brought to light, "The way you react to each other, it's not going to work and everything you both have rebuilt over the last year and a half will be broken again. This is an illusion of acceptance, Senpai do you realize this? You have built yourself a reality, out of stubbornness and somehow managed to convince yourself that you don't care. When you…" and then he stopped before he crossed that clearly drawn line - that sentence didn't need to be finished, they both knew that. So as Yamato let his monologue end, huffing slightly in discontentment he lifted his coffee to take a tentative sip, testing the temperature of the liquid.

Kakashi didn't want to picture it, he just didn't want to go back to the way things were just after the war, just after that kiss. Those long six months of Sakura completely avoiding him, only addressing him when formally needing to for missions. He knew perfectly well that she'd taken his quick exit as a rejection and could only cringe internally at the thought. Yes, in that moment he had rejected her, yet it wasn't until he reflected on it later that night he came to understand just how brutal it was. After all she was in a sensitive state, _'hell everyone was after the war'_. But it wasn't only that which made it cruel – Sakura had offered something very precious. Something which many women kept until their wedding night and he had trodden all over what must have taken her so long to pull together the courage and trust to share with him. Even then it was a serious concern in his mind that had those thoughts been there a long time, were they there because she actually wanted him or was it because she just needed comfort, _'maybe both'_. Sighing he followed Yamato's lead in grabbing a quick drink of his own coffee now. Suddenly he didn't feel so hungry anymore, in fact he felt rather sick.

"Yamato, it's been years" Kakashi muttered dejectedly. In fact he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say in response to the dry truth behind Yamato's concern "I know, alright, I understand what's wrong, I can see it. Please try and refrain from patronizing me" and now feeling considerably uncomfortable he tried to explore past conversational memories as to close ground on this widely conquering army of questions and stale problems. "I took your advice remember the whole speech you gave me after we moved the division back to the village. After I told you why exactly it was a mistake." Yamato nodded in understanding, from this Kakashi continued recalling his subordinates words to him at the time, "as a friend, I took your advice remember, 'do something about it or move on, but don't linger', Yamato I moved on. I tried your advice and I moved on."

Yamato sighed sadly, all nerves dissipated as he now looked rather defeated, "…but you didn't move on Kakashi. Kayo was just a distraction, as close as you both got, you picked someone who in the end would want nothing from you."

"What does that matter?" he queried back in honest refute.

"Because, in all honestly Senpai I believe you choose someone as part-time because some part of you wanted Sakura to experience life and come back to you. So you wouldn't feel so guilty in being her mentor but also the person she was first with." That stung, those words hurt because some part of him didn't want to admit the truth supporting them. Yamato had gotten to know him far too well and Kakashi had wished he'd just left him tangled in the cables outside.

Food discarded from thought Kakashi exacerbated, "Right, say it was the other way around and you were put in the position I was, you are saying you wouldn't have done the same thing? Tell me." His voice had risen higher than he originally intended. Yamato seemed uneasy, if a little shocked "Look, Kakashi, we're friends, right? I've known you a long time, a very long time. Regardless of this image you want to give off I know you're just as much of a wreck as I am, but the difference between me and you is simple. If I found someone who made me feel like that - and before you fling another round at me, listen. I wouldn't let it go. I know that I'm protective of Sakura, but I also know that there is no one else that I would trust more to look after her. Don't get angry with me because I'm putting it to you straight."

Kakashi was silenced, there wasn't much he could say back to Yamato's words. "You know why it's inappropriate Yamato, you know why it's against the law of the village, why it can't happen. Don't give me morals and values, because in the end they don't matter. I would ruin her life, as well as my own. She might hate me, and things are uncomfortable but it doesn't excuse or in any way dismiss the ruin it would ensure." That was the horrible truth, out with any comfort seeking coping mechanisms or daydream, even if her feelings were real for him, they couldn't. If the village found out, the rules meant something far more terrible for them both than a really awkward romance that may even be fated to fail them both.

Yamato grew still, his words slowly forming in a serious tone, "Kakashi, I know the rules. I understand the consequence behind what you've already breached as a mentor but in all honesty do you think the penalty for breaching it is far worse than letting someone you…" that line was close again and he stopped the word from filling in the gap, "become a stranger, or an object of someone else's affections?"

"Yes." He responded flatly "she's young Yamato, I can't justify ruining her life because of something that's not even within her control. What right do I have in that, what kind of fool would that make me?"

* * *

The early afternoon passed rather slowly after the serious conversation between them both, as they approached the Hokage main building Kakashi was glad that they managed to drop the conversation long enough for them both to get their appetites back and enjoy breakfast, because now would be a horrible time to feel hungry. Lunch at the station was over and he had to deal with the stress of his job on top of seeing Genma today for review of the medic Jonin, and that would include Sakura. As they climbed the steps towards the great dome like structure of the building Kakashi felt his mouth run dry, the amount of work ahead of him wasn't funny and on top of that the whole social aspect made him want to bury himself in his book.

"My head is killing me" grumbled Yamato.

"Yeah well, you should've put the kunai away" he responded sarcastically.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura: Present Day Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Stepping in to the large registry Sakura heard her heart beat solidly inside to the sound of her feet hitting the marble floor beneath her. The celling was tall; all things seemed to echo loudly around the dome like structure. It had been a while since she had last walked this hall; all the sounds seemed alien almost in that respect. Moving through the vacated entrance way with a stride characteristic of her previous confident self, she made her presence known to the group of Jonin at the desk. _'Today will be the day'_ and with an ever growing sense of courage she promised to herself, _'I refuse to be a burden anymore, to anyone especially to myself. I am sick and fed up of being left behind. This is the last time.'_

Maybe it was the years of 'rest', maybe it was envy at everyone else's progress in life. Or maybe it was just having the last member of Team 7, other than herself, finding something out with the group and out with the war _. 'Just no more of this - Hell bent or heaven sent, I refuse to be left behind like this. I've lost so much time.'_ With a determination unlike anything she had ever carried post the war Sakura found herself standing self-assured and boldly unafraid _'betrayal, or not I can't live my life on the whim of another. Not like this, I've waited so stupidly long to be recognised and they've all moved on without me.'_ Moving swiftly towards the desk at the centre of the vast circular entrance way Sakura focused on the small man behind the desk. Prompting herself to remain undistracted and completely aloof to the impending social drama of meeting the very three figures she'd rather not see today.

Counter to her planning, she slowly turned to investigate the three Jonin aside the desk at the sudden exclamation of a rather painful sounding grunt. A sight of a relaxed Kakashi, an almost unreadable nervous looking Genma and a limping Yamato greeted her. This somewhat breaking her dramatic life evolving moment, _'What the hell?'_ Sakura paused in her address to the kindly looking man at the desk before her and with a baffled and unblinking stare she queried in a high note, almost completely speechless "Yamato-Sensei? What the hell happened to you, are you alright? You look like you've just been thrown through a wall."

Yamato stood before her, one hand on the desk presumably to help him hold his balance. "Oh, hey there Sakura-Chan, I'm fine, yes. I just had a little trip this morning" he lamented looking odd, like he'd been placed somewhere very cold "That's all" he concluded simply. With a slightly stiff shrug that was meant to come across nonchalant he smiled. The pink haired kunoichi started at him with suspicious eyes, "that seems like one heck of a trip. Have you visited medic-bay?" Yamato merely nodded in response, continuing to hold a rather wooden disposition about himself. _'This doesn't seem right, what happened when I left?'_

As if to stop her quizzical mind Yamato piped up a question for her, a rather horridly awkward question. "Don't worry about me Sakura-Chan. I'm fine" lifting his free hand he gave a little wave as if to drive away her worry, "Did you get home okay last night?"

Sakura stiffened, _'what do I say, what do they know?'_ In her moment of inner turmoil Sakura risked a glance over Yamato's shoulder, to try and capture an answer from the Jonin so casually leaning against the back wall with a toothpick playing on his lips.

Genma's still frame behind both of Team 7's Captains backs, though relaxed, gave off a thin air of forced confidence. _'He's anxious, what's going on?_ ' Retrieving her questioning glance Genma slyly winked, a mischievous grin breaking across his once fearful face. Sakura felt a blush begin to rise in her cheeks, _'I don't think they know, best to keep quite.'_ The kiss from the previous night seemed to caress her mind filling her with an intoxicating sense of self and need. Dismissing the fluttering sensation in her stomach in order to retain composure Sakura responded lightly, "Yes Sensei, I got home very safe. Not a single bruise or fall!" Laughing now at the feeling of her heart lifting in recollection at how enamoured she was the night before, and how fortunate she had been in not sustaining any injury. _'Thankfully to Genma and his care'_ was her following thought. Yamato sighed as if he had wanted to capture some great piece of incrementing evidence, but a smile absently broke across his pale face, voice pooling with relief he chirped honestly "Good Sakura, I'm glad."

Risking a glance at the tall silver-haired nin on her left Sakura found to her horror that Kakashi appeared to have noticed the soft pink blush specking her cheeks, his one visible eye slightly narrowing in on them. Feeling uncomfortable under his stare Sakura rained in her thoughts before they could spiral in to something more complicated. With images of the night bursting the banks of any fortification she had built over the last hour she clumsily spilled out a reason for her sudden departure "I'm here to visit Lady Tsunade today so I need to, you know, get moving before lunch ends completely and the office is flooded with paperwork."

Quickly writing her name upon the sign-in sheet she clattered the receptions spare pen down on to the desk, making her leave hurriedly. Holding her posture straight she meant to signify to the Jonin that she was off in a serious pursuit, _'and in every way, I am completely fine'_ ran her thoughts, being an ever desperate illusion streaming above her true inner social discomfort. _'I'll be glad when this day is over'._

Navigating the circling route of the Hokage building, Sakura felt herself disengage from the noise of the heavily congested hallway. Each foot steadily in front of the other, eyes cast no were in particular ahead of herself as to avoid getting trampled on by the mass of nin's and occupational researchers. _'Why does it seem so busy in here compared to outside? This is really annoying why did they have to swarm today?'_ Huffing loudly, her face red with frustration she acknowledged that she was being childish, however that did not help in any way reduce her building blood pressure _'Did I accidentally advertise to the entire village to come and trip over me today?_ ' and that was the final thought before a flurry of movement, and the distinct feeling of being pulled off her feet took over. The readiness to fight bubbled and her chakra levels simmered in wait. At the sound of a door clicking softly shut beside her and with a tiny fist growing green, Sakura found herself in a small office area. With the faint smell of dust tickling her nose she looked up to _'the attacker'_ and found herself staring straight in to the eyes of a familiar, slightly nervous looking friend. With a hand playing at the back of his bandana, the other dropping causally from its previous grapple position on her waist - Sakura stood bewildered before him, her fight and flight responses completely muddle, "What the hell Genma! How did you get in here?" Stuttering questions toppled out of her mouth "Why? I just saw you down the stairs? Didn't I?" With large eyes and one eyebrow lifted in query she paused then, as if to herself, whispered, "I didn't imagine that right?"

Genma chuckled with a childlike glee "You know, Yamato and Kakashi aren't the only ones who can make shadow clones" with a bright smile he continued "…anyway first off. Hey Sakura good afternoon to you too. I've been here for approximately 17 minutes both in hiding and in wait to satisfy a particular curiosity."

"Uh-huh" she nodded slowly, face flushed - Silence breached the interaction until the confusion lifted its heavy lid and Sakura seemed to come together, trembling in anger "What the hell! You scared me! What the hell!" and then she punched him, dead in the arm.

The pink haired kunoichi could only watch now as his brown eyes seemed to dilate and his arm drop limp. It had to have hurt? If only marginally like a paper bomb with pinpoint accuracy, and she regretted it almost instantly. "Oh! No!" she gasped "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard... I'll heal it, please don't look like that. I'll heal it, sit down – Look there's a chair by that window." Frantically guiding the lanky and now extremely wobbly figure to a dusty spinning chair adjacent to the cracked office desk in the middle of the room Sakura scorned herself for her flash temper, _'not again… I've probably broken something!'_ "Saku-ra … why?" his voice stuttered, and if he hadn't been in pain and her not feeling so guilty it would have been funny, but with the variables in mind it just wasn't. Hurriedly she started administering her healing ninjutsu on to his arm as she lifted the sleeve covering it.

Then as if by nonchalant happenstance Genma seemed to snap out of the shocked, painful looking state, a childish grin encapsulating his face as he looked up at her, eyes squinted with mischief. Catching the look in-between her nervous glances towards him, Sakura double glanced back and immediately stopped. "Right, you! What are you playing at!?" Almost growling in rage she pulled away sharply and in her complete annoyance started towards the door that up in till now she never knew existed in the building, _'what even is this room?'_ she wondered as she went to storm out, with the slight sound of a chair scarping the wooden floor behind her.

"Sakura. Don't leave. Please." With the feeling of a gentle tug on her shoulder and a soft voice filling her ears she turned around on the spot. Now looking at the figure who stood slightly titled to elevate the height difference. "Sorry, just playing. It's been a rough morning." He offered smiling unabashedly, she started at him expectantly and he continued to elaborate "I've got a lot of administration stuff to do today so I've sent my shadow clone to do it." Unsatisfied with his answer in weight of his actions she went to continue her progress towards the exit. "Sakura, I'm sorry" and with those words she felt herself gently guided backwards by the placement of two hands upon her hips. In an absurd rush of curiosity she let Genma have his way in guiding her in to the center of the room. He moved himself in front of her swiftly as she felt, what she presumed to be, the aged wooden table press in to her lower back. _'What exactly does he want?'_ ran her now anxious thoughts, without alcohol supporting her she now began to feel very much out of her depth, _'What have I done, I can't do this?'_

As if he could read her like a book thrown open before him, Genma gazed in to her eyes, his gentle features composed of calm sincerity. "Don't fret. I just wanted one sober." Without the time to admit even a breath, his lips met hers and a light kiss was shared. It was fleeting, but soft and comforting all the same, and without thought she had accidentally found herself falling in to the affection. Breaking away from contact, but quickly landing a quick peck again Genma nuzzled his nose against hers playfully, "I've already apologized, but I'll say it again, I'm sorry Sakura" he whispered "I just didn't want the memories of you and I to only be hazy ones. I know we won't trespass that line, but I just had to have this one."

She looked up at him now to find his eyes closed and a content look about his face, and she smiled happily "I understand" and she did, without query or confusion she understood perfectly. Genma and she weren't so different after all. Though they would not _'trespass'_ as he had said, they were both lonely but in different ways. For even though he had an abundance of affection given to him physically Sakura wondered to herself if he truly ever had affection with meaning. Whereas she had an absence he had been over encumbered, and in the end they both lacked _'the meaning'_ in their lives. At her words his shoulders seemed too un-tense and he relaxed against her, _'he was more nervous than I thought, I would never have suspected him to be so… so unsure of himself, he seemed so confident.'_

Pulling her in for a hug, he squeezed her in to his chest rather suddenly. Gasping in to it Sakura was taken aback at the sudden change in position. "You have no idea how nervous I was there, I thought that was the end of me when I pulled you in here" She felt a laugh rumble through his chest, and with a muffling "I.. I can't breathe" Sakura laughed in return and eased herself from his grasp, taking in a lungful of fresh but still noticeably dusty air.

"Oh, sorry"

"Stop apologizing" she giggled, feeling elated and for the first time in a long while unburdened.

After a brief pause they both broke a smile in the reflection of the other, "So what do you say Sakura? Friends?" he asked cheerily. Nodding, with a pink hue to her cheeks, she concluded "yes, friends Genma" and with that they both moved away from the table and faced towards the door, his arm swung haphazardly around her shoulder in a friendly affirmation of their chosen path. "Well, back to sanity huh?" he joked, "Yeah, yeah, whatever that is anyway right?"

Using his spare hand to reach for the handle he opened it carefully as to avoid any potential people on the other side from crashing in to it. But as the door opened the previous noise that had filtered the hustle of the hallway did not enter. As both she and Genma came to see, the hallway was in fact completely empty - aside from one singular figure leaning against the adjacent wall expectantly.

"Genma! Right! Stop this! You told me you were sick but here you are again hiding in some cornered away room with another girl…" and then Yamato's sentence stopped as he realized the girl he was referencing this time was in fact Sakura. She would have given anything to have not seen that particular expression of shock cover his face, absolutely anything. "Sakura… Sakura-chan?"

And then with a sickening thud she heard her newly acquired friend hit the floor, the towering figure of an enraged Yamato eclipsing the fallen frame of Genma. Whom now had a growing bump breaching the confinement of his bandana. "Yamato! Dammit, it's not what you think! I swear it! Why did you have to hit me?" As if snapping back from a distant realm of fiery hate, Yamato's face went pale and he quickly reached for Genma to help him from the floor. "Ok. You can't blame me for this one Genma" He stiffly remarked as if biting back exceptionally colorful language. "Alright, alright I know my fault." Genma responded groggily rubbing at his head "but I'm really beginning to feel this is a game of preferences with you."

Sakura then witnessed a particularly strange look pass between them, as if something were being communicated in which she wasn't allowed to decipher. "You know it's not like that Genma."

"Well it's starting to feel like that, I mean it's not like he's ..." and then it happened again, that thud but this time Genma seemed ready and just shook with the friendly thump of a punch between friends. "Right, I deserved that..." Genma mumbled, but instead of a following grunt of anger he in complete contrast smirked a rather peevishly childlike grin "Yamato-san you have become really aggressive, Kakashi is really a bad influence on such a kind soul".

And as if by some horrible summoning justu, he appeared on the call of his name, hand's shoved in to pockets, silver hair roughly swept to one side in to compliancy. With the furious glare of the sun flooding the hallway from the rectangular avenue of the old windows he looked almost regal, fit for royalty in its golden haze. Sakura didn't know what to do, in light of the weird position Yamato and Genma were in, to her half exit from a room that had probably been abandoned for years. She froze.

"Yo!" He chirped merrily in the direction of the three of them, "It seems with in the space of three blinks and a quick chapter of my book, you two had decided to run off. Tsunade is currently roaming the halls, and well for the sake of the tally count I guess she tried to work out if I was the shadow clone today." Laughing, with his visible eye creased in to a gentle expression of half enjoyment and half terrible apprehension he motioned his hand towards the visible, slightly red tinge to his cheek. "It's coming to the end of the month now I guess, I should've known better than to put a shadow clone out today Kakashi, sorry." Genma apologized still with a rather juvenile disposition about him, though Sakura had noticed the loss of humor in his tone. "Ouch. Senpai. To be honest I thought she'd have a try at me or him" Yamato directed a nod towards Genma for emphasis, "she went for you last time after all" the wood-nin concluded.

"Well, she apparently thinks it's me. Practically all the time. Every time. Maybe... I don't know maybe she just wants to hit me." Kakashi mused back completely absent of expression, as if he were considering his last statement to hold an objective truth.

"Huh. Tally count?" Sakura hadn't even realized her mouth was forming the shape for words never mind sounding them out audibly. "Ah, Sakura-Chan," Yamato smiled down at her, eyes twinkling with a childlike glee, "It's just a bet between Lady Tsunade and the elite Jonin. After she took office she unfortunately came to the realization that sometimes, dependent on the level of work and illness, stress or lethargic tendency, that sometimes we send in a shadow clone of ourselves to do the work. Specifically administration work, it does need done but with training and teaching on top of it, sometimes it pays to take a quick two hour break to stay sharp." Sakura could hear the dulling edge to the true cut of what Yamato was saying and remained silent as to prompt him onward. "Well, you see we all have a bet in place to see how many she catches and which one of us gets caught the most. Lady Tsunade is completely on board with it in fact she runs it, the tally count is kept in her office. All she has to do to put her place in for winnings is randomly just take a swing at one of us every so often. But for some reason for the last couple of weeks this month's she's been oddly fixated on Kakashi."

Genma followed on from Yamato's explanation, simply stating "I think she's using the tally count as an excuse sometimes I really do. Which, to be fair she has a bunch of adult men slacking off, and if there is one thing Tsunade hates it's a slacker, especially because she can't do that very same thing." Sakura smiled, that was in fact a very ironic truth of her mentor, for someone who hated slackers she was indeed the very image of one when she could afford to be. "So I don't really blame her… but hell does it hurt. I spent one of my weekends with my head in the freezer trying to reduce the boulder sized bump she gave me. It was an abomination… I had to really consider naming it, solely on the basis that someone might climb it and stick a tiny flag on it." The Jonin laughed at Genma's serious face in reflection of his lackadaisical tone, it seemed regardless of repercussion they all enjoyed the thrill element of the bet. Sakura's nerves had dissipated and for the first time today a sense of belonging flickered through her, a warm feeling she quickly embraced. Smiling and now confident in her comfort Sakura laughed lightly, amused at the games of her superiors and her mentor, all of whom held extremely tough positons with the hierarchical construct in the life of the leaf village. _'It's like a family, a large and dysfunctional family.'_ betting on herself Sakura chanced a quick glance up at the silver haired figure who had taken his place by her side. Then she quickly wish she hadn't, as if he were expecting it, when she looked up he had quickly caught her look. A particular spark of curiosity glinting within a singular, quizzical grey eye. With a shallow thump of her heart and the sensation of goosebumps traveling down her spine, she smiled warmly to break the awkwardness of being caught and the expectant questions branching out towards her from his look. "I was on my way to her office, she knew I was on my way. Oh goodness, how late am i?"

Yamato let out a low whistle "Oh dear Sakura-Chan that could explain why she's on the war path."

Kakashi, lifted a hand to his chin and composed himself fully in to a mock questioning pose, "hmm I wonder if there is a correlation in you being late to me getting struck, Sakura what do you think?"

Now she felt awkward, surely both Yamato and her sensei had questions lingering in their minds, like why she was late when she was just down stairs and why the physical non-shadow clone of Genma was currently at her side nursing a becoming bruise, as prescribed by Yamato. "No. I don't think that's the reason sensei, I'm normally never late." Sakura shyly responded, just above a hushed whisper. "Do you have any idea on her whereabouts Kakashi-sensie, so I can apologies and see if I can still have my time with her?"

"It seems this hallway is popular today." Came a sharp and very distinctive voice.

"Lady Tsunade!" Sakura almost jumped, and was sure she looked viably close to panic as Tsunade strode towards them.

"Genma! I saw you down the stairs helping Ibiki carry off boxes of evidence towards the interrogation building. Please explain why I am currently seeing you in front of me?" Genma opened his mouth, but in apparent shock and interpretation no noise followed. "Urgh, never mind! I know exactly why you are here. Damnable shadow clones I was so sure it was Kakashi." She muttered to herself seemingly irritated. Regaining clarity after a moment of puzzlement Tsunade cleared her throat and now directed her attention towards Sakura. "Right, you're late. I was looking for you encase the training medics saw you and you'd been whisked away to aid them – that team I swear need to get to grips on their own without being shepherded about. I'd let that slide but today a meeting is acquired and can't be postponed. Regarding the current status of your previous reason for visiting me I'm afraid Sakura It will have to be postponed. Kakashi, I'll need you to follow me as well. We don't have much time to officiate the call from the sand" and with the stride and purpose of a leader Tsunade passed through their small cluster, on route to her office.

With a nervous glance Sakura quickly looked towards Kakashi, but found no comfort, his face blank. He, like her must have felt the serious weight of Tsunade words, something was underway, somewhere far away a clock was ticking – with a deep breath Sakura readied herself for its burden, and as a calmness gently washed through her body she felt herself ready to carry the weight of the world.

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 **Replies:**

Thank you _Sparkel0001_ for waiting aha! Yeah, deadlines + exams = a caffeinated wreck of a person. :P

 _Cherryflowerblossoms_ \- *bounces* I am really happy that you enjoyed that last chapter! ^.^ This one is less descriptive but for the reason of conversations and actually moving the characters from a to b. Hopefully, you like this one too and I haven't failed miserably aha.

 _SarahAntonia_ thank you so much for your support. :)


	7. I'm sick of this brave new world

**Song Note:/** Modern Girl by _Sleater_ - _Kinney_

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Silence hung heavy, the weight of importance hushing the three as they walked. Soon that heavy door would shut behind them sealing them from any outside interference, _'what could hold such urgency'._ The nature of Lady Tsunade's expression as she walked ahead of her seemed to radiate a warning. Sakura envisioned white paper crumpled from over handling, breaching the corners of a meek brown office folder, skewed across her rose wood table, and likely awaiting them for further analysis.

There at the end of the hallway the Hokage office awaited, the windows spilling in the sunlight growing narrower, the walls seemingly inching close, the shadows climbing. This part of the building was always vacant, _'well almost completely'_ aside the unsettling and unseen presence of two leaf Anbu standing sharp, backs against the wall either side of the Hokage's office. _'I've never got used to that, that chakra.'_ The empty vessel feeling of a Leaf Anbu was something unlike anything else, neither cold nor warm – _'like a muted sound just out of hearing'_ and she couldn't help but wonder again how both Yamato and Kakashi had survived such heinous treatment. From years ago, when she was very young, her first years as Tsunade's student in fact, Sakura had been put through the paces of the different needs required to evaluate and place her patients dependant on their role within the Leaf. Alongside the body the mind was just as key as any organ, a sickening chill catching in her throat when learning of the Anbu. But morbidly she found something simply beautiful within the act of emptying the mind and opening the body to the instruction of higher order. No pain, no emotional turmoil only an empty carrier of instruction. _'Prison or sanctuary, no matter there is a peace in silence, isn't there? Could I ever experience such a thing, would that training silence me, all those cries I hear when I try to sleep? All those voices screaming, but no louder than my own twisting everything and every word. Could I do what they do, could I leave it behind? All of it, all of that idiocy, all of the stupid mistakes?'_ Her body guided her the rest of the way as her mind swam of the desires for vacancy of soul.

Tsunade opened the door swiftly with a brisk nod to the shadowy presence on passing. Sakura made her way through the doors frame quickly, barely holding the door away for Kakashi to step through. Not wanting to give herself time to equate the coming serious discussion with awareness to the world around. Senses bubbling in trepidation, monitoring sound she heard her sensei's hand gently tap the wood of the door to keep it open as he followed in her steps. A moment of progress to the desk and the sound of the door clicking shut behind her, Sakura took in a deep breath and focused in on Tsunade taking her place in the chair. There would be no mentor, no friendship, only the Leaf's Hokage from this moment on, she could see it in the hard and detached setting within Tsunade's expression. Holding herself uniformly straight she felt the light brush of Kakashi's hand against her own, but it was so discreet and brief she remained unsure if she actually felt it and questioned it's meaning quickly, though ultimately to only dismiss it as an accident. _'This is not the time Sakura'_ she angrily declared on the fleeting feeling of anxiety in her stomach, erasing it.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"I know I've just called you in here Sakura and I do apologies for the curtness but I need to have a talk with Kakashi on his own then we can proceed." Sakura seemed taken aback but gave an affirmative nod before vacating the office to give them privacy.

Once the door had clicked back in to its frame Tsunade's serious eyes met his own, "Kakashi. I received a letter from Chiyo addressed to Garra. He sent it through last night." Pushing the envelope forward on the desk in motion for Kakashi to read it Tsunade let out a heavy sigh.

The single sheet on the first page read in messy handwriting – " _No one else will do. Other than that girl who I am assured will surpass that Tsunade brat_."

Kakashi was almost at a loss until it hit him what this letter was highlighting. The date also in the corner of the worn paper stuck out like a sore thumb. It was dated back years previous right before Chiyo's death. From this it seemed that the woman had recommend Sakura as a replacement with full consent and approval. "This is old, Lady Tsunade. This recommendation, why now?" – "I'll explain when she's back in the room, I just wanted to give you a heads up so you prepare yourself for what is to come."

She stated bluntly "Kakashi. I don't want our feelings getting in front of that girls career." His mouth felt dry and he could feel his heart thud unforgivingly in his chest, he was indeed feeling rather panicked – and he didn't like that realisation at all.

"I have to forward the dissolvent of Team 7 a few years ahead of plan. As I've already named you as my successor Kakashi, the elders are now happy to proceed this year with your training. Afterwards you'll take my place as Hokage and take the name of the Sixth."

"I understand" was all he could reply, words didn't feel natural to him in the state of anxiety he was feeling but to his astonishment they sounded perfectly calm and reasonable.

"I am giving you one last S-Rank mission as captain, then you'll be removed upon returning."

"Hai."

The weary cracks of her façade weighed heavy on her face, as the gravity of the situation pulled at his shoulders. "To one who has sacrificed so much to the village, I can only apologise for asking more of you. But I need you here ready to take my place, and the sand needs her to heal the damage of Chiyo's passing. I truly am sorry Kakashi"

The tension thick in the air, Kakashi's eyes darkened in pain "Is that an order, or a request Lady Tsunade?"

She laughed off his rebellion, and did not meet his eyes. Nor did she answer the question. Tsunade walked over to Kakashi, hand lightly brushing his shoulder as she handed him the mission scroll. "My last gift or curse, take it with some advice. One of us could have given the world to see loved ones now passed. If I were offered to see him again, no matter the consequence, Kakashi I would do it, I have lived too long to be so alone."

She walked towards the door, partly to bring Sakura in and, unbeknownst to Kakashi, to wipe the tears being shed over old regrets and still fresh wounds. She grasped the handle and ushered in a whole new world for Kakashi.

He wondered to himself as he heard her enter the room, just how she would react, and hoped that whatever she saw in this offer would only in the end ensure her happiness. Even if it were detrimental to his own.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Upon walking in to the office Sakura felt the solemn depths drowning the room in silence.

"Right. Naruto should be here for this. For the topic it concerns alone he deserves to be here, but I trust that you both will tell him in future of what's discussed. For now I want him to continue with his time recuperating with Hinata and enjoy the rest that he has more than earned and deserves. On that note, I'm sick of putting that new arm of his back on because he keeps messing around whilst it's still healing, So calling him here in honesty makes me wonder if he'd seriously consider walking here and not scaling the rooftops in excitement and scaring the children witless as his arm falls off. Again." Rubbing now at her eyes Tsunade sighed heavily and Sakura now realised how tired she looked. _'Whatever this is, she's been up dealing with it. Maybe all night, I don't think she's slept.'_

"I received word from the Kazekage, he's asked for you Sakura." The Hokage now lamented stiffly.

The room began to close in almost, the warm air suffocating, "Lady Tsunade, why would Garra of the Sand ask for me?" Sakura was completely at loss.

A soft smile creased Tsunade's tired face as she now dropped her hands to the desk, "Because you're talented Sakura and you've made quite the impression."

Nodding, but unaccepting of the declaration of talent Sakura looked to her side to capture a reading from Kakashi only to see him nod and smile at Tsunade's words, "I'd expect no less" was all he said.

Tsunade threw an undecipherable look at Kakashi, "nor would I."

Interjecting almost Sakura felt a most pivotal question race from her mind to her mouth and she asked sharply in wonder, "Why has he asked for me, what have I been called to do?"

"Lady Chiyo, has remembered you fondly in her recommendations on her death in the rescuing of the Kazekage from the Akatsuki." It seemed like a life time ago, so long and so distant yet at the mention of Chiyo a pride encumbered by a heavy sadness swelled inside her chest at the pace of her slowly thudding heartbeat.

"Garra is in need of a trained medical-nin to fulfil the teaching criteria of his medic department. After the war his main team has been lost and after the last two years of rebuilding he has found a considerable vacancy that needs fulfilled. Even if only temporary Sakura." Tsunade now locked eyes with her, searching her reaction and waiting for the unleashing of an answer "Sakura, I know you understand me and the meaning of this request. The Leaf and the Sand hold a strong alliance so if you decide to go, you will be safe and no harm will come to you. The good this will do to strengthen the relationship between the villages I couldn't explain to you more as you already know. I know you do Sakura. I know you understand what this means."

Her mouth felt dry now as she sounded out a raspy "Yes" to acknowledge her mentors words and express her understanding of them.

"He's asked for the best of the Leaf, and he'll find it in you. The positon is required within the next six months, when they hold the annual recruitment week and open the doors to the promising students. So around the last week of April." Refocusing on Tsunade, her eyes still determined to slip and remain focused on the floor Sakura caught a particular look of sadness cross the tired Hokage's face. It had already been decided, Sakura didn't have to say a word, and Tsunade already knew the answer. _'She'll miss me and I'll miss her, I don't want to leave but I know, I understand what I must do._ ' An understanding eclipsed the sadness upon the realisation that she would leave all behind, even Naruto, even Kakashi. _'Everything familiar and everything home.'_

"He's asked for permanent Sakura. I don't think I have to explain why Kakashi was asked along today and Naruto desired." A lump grew in Sakura's throat but she spoke with a resound and distinct acceptance, reminiscent of her previous self. "Because Team 7 will be over?"

Tsunade looked on at them both now, eyes pooling with undeclared emotion, "Kakashi, I understand that this is going to be hard but you'll need to be the one to settle the paper work. With Sakura and yourself, Team 7 can be put on a hiatus though in all regards it will be ended, there is a comfort to send to Naruto that it's hiatus over a complete split." A broken smile uncomfortably sat on her face now as if painful but in search to dull the blow to her subordinates and friends. "I understand Lady Tsunade, I'll make sure I get that sorted." His voice was orderly and showed no quiver of emotion, and Sakura thought glumly without even the thought to try to look at him again _'he's probably glad, after everything, he's free. I can't shackle him any longer and he'll be free and maybe that's the best thing I can do for him in the end.'_ Yet lingering there were thoughts she didn't want to fully acknowledge yet, the ones that spoke of freedom for herself. Selfishly glad to be removed from all the history and free to make new a meaningful relationship, be those friendships or maybe someone who could help put away her unresolved feelings for _'him'_. Someone kind and gentle who wanted her, temper, forgetfulness and nerves all included. Someone that could accept her and maybe love her in the way that she wanted to love another. Intimacy, friendship and meaning, _'maybe, this is just where I'm supposed to go? Maybe this is my road to follow as the others theirs. I'm scared and I don't want to go but maybe this is how it's supposed to be? The only things hold me here are friends, that I hardly see and habit.'_

"You'll always be a Leaf ninja Sakura, this will always be your home. Wither you accept the permanent or seasonal position, will not change how we think of you here." Tsunade concluded, eyes large and eyebrows creased with concern. "I understand Tsunade and I accept the offer."

"Thank you Sakura. – Now before both of you are dismissed I have an S-Rank mission in urgent need of allocation and you both fulfil the needed criteria for it. Sakura I believe that this is something which may somewhat heavily interest you."

Sakura couldn't deny the rush of intrigue that overwhelmed her and momentarily swept aside her previous concerns. "There are cases of foul-play amongst the people of Takigakure. The list of victims found with the toxin in their system has grown rather profusely. We've been sent an urgent call from both Takigakure, and just last night the Sand regarding this very same threat. It seems that the use of this poison started in Takigakure and has now spread to the Sand, though its control board seems stationary in Takigakure. Both villages have tried to cope internally with the issue but are now reaching out for aid. It seems there are leads towards an organized crime network which runs from one village to the other. As you will probably perceive this mission is entirely covert. Infiltration and tactical elements are absolute key. This, Kakashi is why I have placed you alongside Sakura. It of course goes without saying why I have also enlisted you Sakura. The mission needs to be handled with upmost procession and accuracy, no more than two people can be placed on this less we raise the risk of detection." Shuffling between a piles of folders Tsunade presented two files forward. "These files here are for you both to take away, both have all the leads the governments of the villages could uncover. Lastly, the threat of having someone under their own agency being an informant is too great thusly when you arrive in Takigakure you have not to announce yourself as nin from the hidden leaf, got it!"

"Hai!" they echoed back in unison.

"…and Kakashi you will need to take that damnable mask off for this one, no compromise that thing has become one of your most recognisable features!"

As they were dismissed, files in hand Sakura couldn't help but now recognise the funny squirm in her chest at the idea of seeing Kakashi's face again. On leaving the room Sakura went to turn to him to discuss the mission but it was if he read her mind. On looking up he was already striding down the hall, his back tensed as if disgruntled, his pace evident of urgency to leave.

Sakura couldn't help but feel paranoid that it was because he was going to be stuck with her for a while. Letting him disappear of in to the long hallway Sakura took a minute to herself to absorb all that had happened within such a small space of time. _'I really need to take a walk'._

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

A faint smell of lavender seemed to float absently around the tight weaving avenue, with its towering blocks and cracked windows. The village had its forgotten areas, left by time and landlords to wallow away. Trees clung to the edges of the walkway, weaving with the cobbled pathways. The sun shone through the leaves, but it didn't have much impact when its rays reached the ground. There were a few shops still down this way that sold little pieces, little things no one really thought to buy. This was one of Sakura's favorite places in the village, it had a certain quality to it that tapped in to her memories of the old streets before Pain had attacked and reduced the precious village to rubble. The new world was built on top of its ruins, the past left to decay. The few shops that remained open down this way saved the avenue from demolition, when they closed there would be no length of time before a land developer would raise a notice with a price to buy, destroy and rebuild their own pocket of modern life. In one aspect it left her sad that the last traces of her childhood were clearing away like rubbles of concreate and broken glass, that the physical memories would soon be gone like her childhood home, like her family.

With Lady Tsunade's words this day, a further point of end was is in the distance, Team 7 was over. Though in retrospect since Sasuke had left to face away from his crimes until he figured out how to repent and heal the wounds he'd inflicted, Team 7 was rather in waiting, gathering dust like an old ornament. With Naruto in training to become the Hokage as well the survival of the team in the long run was not exactly given a long lifeline. The trouble with having to face Tsunade's words, wasn't really the content within them Sakura reasoned, it was all the fears that they dug up. She was forced to face, just after she'd taken the lunging declaration to herself that she wouldn't be left behind, that she was indeed so far behind that trying to match up was almost a pipe dream, a joke. That was it in all its ugly truth, she felt like a joke.

The given mission between herself and Kakashi to remove a threat was particularly interesting and something to look forward to, using her skills again and helping the village gain stronger ties. Though it was a lengthy endeavor it would sure be an eventful one. Reasoning led her to settle on worrying about her future plans later, today she had to ready and then rest. There was no point in even letting her mind wander over Garra's request until April, this mission ahead would need her full attention.

The smell of lavender grew stronger and appeared to be coming from a flower shop filled with a variety of items. Her query turned out to be true as a burning incense stick came in to view as she peered in the open door. Taking careful steps in to the shop, as not to startle the shop keeper who had her back to her, Sakura cleared her throat to announce her presence. The shop keeper turned and gave a half smile, "afternoon dear".

"Afternoon", she replied lightly.

Letting her eyes wander the store she took in the large amount of color and vibrant items. From small kits for knitting, worn books, dulled weapons and other mementos from the past like pictures of old buildings and faces of those who took up offices of the past. Skimming amongst the collections Sakuras fingers lightly brushed over an old kunai, with a white handle. The item was different from what would be conventionally conceived as a kunai, it appeared to have black symbols painted and carved through the handle to which Sakura deciphered as teleportation. _'This is an interesting piece'_ , scrunching up her face she thought about the level of talent and sheer patience and skill it would take to master such a technique.

As if to help clear her thoughts the shop keeper after appearing by her side took one look at the item and began, "it's a funny old thing isn't it? It's hard to imagine that it was once held by such an important man."

"Hmm, who did it belong to?" Sakura enquired, feeling like an ignorant child lost in a museum. The older woman gave a gentle chuckle and the expression lines around her features highlighted a childlike glee within the woman's blue eyes. "Oh, I guess you are far too young to have been born when this man was alive. He was quite handsome, quiet and studious though as I remember him. Didn't look like much until he left the academy. Oh my all those years and still I'd never have thought that the skinny boy beside me in school would have become the fourth Hokage, call me ignorant but even with his determination he was still quite to the point I thought him timid." The woman seemed to be caught in a nostalgic pool of time, "How I wish I'd got to know him better back then, he was a good man."

Sakura felt taken a back, she couldn't quite believe that the item before her was such an important piece in both her friends life and her sensei's life. This was Minato's, Naruto's dad and Kakashi's Sensei. An important item that must've seen so many battles had found its way to this little shop at the end of the village. "Suppose I shouldn't have it on sale, but money is not exactly a common visitor here." The woman looked rather guilt ridden now as she studied the object, as if accused of some moral crime.

"I just can't believe it's the Fourth's, I'd actually like to buy it. I believe I have two people who would be more than happy to see this." Sakura, in reflection of her words, offered comfort to the older woman, "There is no shame in asking for a fee, for safe guarding an important piece of history." Her words seemed to ease the woman's burden of selling something others may have looked down on her for.

After the woman had returned from the backroom with a box and decorative protective wrap she placed the item inside and sealed the box for safety. Wishing the woman a good day and heading back out in to the heat Sakura now realized she faced a dilemma, she really wanted to give this to Kakashi but was it really her place to do so? _'What about Naruto, this was his dad's and he barely has anything not even memories'?_ Taking a deep breath she had to accept even with her desire and excitement to present such a personal item to Kakashi she could not do so without first offering it to Naruto. He was her friend and after all these years she still lit up when she saw him smile, she used to hide this behind a childish scrawl when she was young but now embraced the joy his happiness brought her. After all time did change her as well, she wasn't the same on the outside or the inside no matter how many traits of her former self lingered. Old memories of hating Naruto and all his explosive mannerisms brought a nostalgic smile, _'time makes a mockery of us all'._

With the box positioned under her arm she kept pace until she excited the avenue and in to one of the main routs which bustled with noise and commotion. Within the hustle of the crowd she spotted the outline of Ino bustling her way through the crows, carrying a large amount of bags. But what really caught her attention at that particular moment was the distinctive curve of Ino's belly.

Approaching her Sakura waved and loudly called, having her voice carry over the noise around them "INO, HEY! Wait up I'll help with those!" An anguished smile seemed to break across Ino's face, she looked extremely warm and tired, the sight of a helpful friend appeared to be a blessing on such a day.

"Thank you, I'm so glad, I have been struggling with these for the last thirty minutes," Handing over a few bags she let out deep breathes trying to regain her balance. Sakura took this chance to steal some more bags from her friends arms, "Oh, no it's fine I can managed those ones." Ino hurriedly informed, her breathing still a rather heavy pant. Sakura choose to ignore this on the basic premise that she felt Ino was trying not to be too much of a burden, but what friend would she really be if she let her carry anymore bags in the state she was in.

"Why are you carrying so much?" Quickly glancing at the bags with a quizzical lifted eyebrow Sakura's green eyes caught the symbol on the bags, they were from the baby center.

Surprise filtered through before she could act, "Oh".

"Oh no Sakura." Ino again with that anguished look, "oh no, I didn't want to tell you like this, I mean this late. I was always going to come round and see you, you know. It's just been…" Ino was fluttering, the noise of the crowd and the collisions whilst they walked, passed by unnoticed as it sank in how far she has drifted from her friend. _'Time really makes a mockery of us all'_ Tears welled up as the forgotten friendship passed her by _._

Nevertheless right now was not the time for this, Sakura anxiously brushed away her straying pink fringe with the back of her hand and cleared her throat, "let's just get you home yeah?" and with that she smiled, only slightly embittered in hurt "Let's just get this stuff home" Ino smiled back.

"Yeah!"

Once they had, without incident, successfully got to Ino's street there was an awkward silence falling fast around them. The distance between them revealed the passing time, how do they speak to each other after all this? It had been so long, long enough for Ino to be shopping for baby clothes and for Sakura to haphazardly stumble upon her at such an important time.

"Would you be able to stay for a little while Sakura?" Ino offered in a quiet voice, shyly glancing at Sakura. "Yes, if you're sure, I don't want to outstay my welco-"

"Look, Sakura this is important, WE need to be important."

Ino seemed to have gained some shaky confidence in herself, a slight fire gleaming in her eyes, she placed the bags on the floor, indicating for Sakura to do the same.

Sakura placed the bags, and her own box down in the hallway and walked through into the next room. Sakura still remembered the layout and the way Ino liked things in the kitchen so began putting items away with ease. They mostly did this in silence until Sakura heard the sound of the kettle. _'Well this time is as good as any'_. Ino looked at Sakura and blurted out "I'm pregnant!". The shock of the confession forced a startled gasp, followed quickly with "I'm being transferred to the sand". The shock on Ino's face mirrored her own and she felt the embarrassment of such an explosive outburst. It was there, however that the small hope they held between them reignited, all the years faded and the distanced closed. The stranger before her blurred into focus as an old friend and lost sister.

"Sakura, before we go back to how it was before I owe you a few things. Firstly I need you to listen, I didn't tell you I was pregnant, or that I was dating Sai, because well you weren't there. I mean how could I approach you. After the war you mooned around in your own little world. I didn't understand how you could be so cold and I was plagued with every patient that died begging for mercy in my dreams. But I owe you an apology you were grieving as I was but you hid inside as I collapsed outwards. I needed you, and you needed me we should have been there for each other. I also owe thanks. If you were there I would never have found myself with Sai, he has been my foundation my bedrock and I am truly thankful for every second."

Sakura blinked. Her brain slowly absorbing the information. She stared incredulously at Ino, "SAI!?" she blurted.

Ino laughed, enjoying the shock. "How did that happen?"

The love in Ino's eyes muddied with a desperate horror. "It was a year after the war ended. I woke up screaming, it was one of the casualties, they were from the sand, he couldn't have been older than us. Blood was everywhere and he just kept begging me for help, I couldn't help him, I had to help someone who I could save." Tears built in her eyes as the stories pain haunted Ino's memory. "His last words to me were, please stop it hurting. I couldn't help him." She shuddered from the thought. "I couldn't sleep that night so walked around a while, trying to find some redemption in the life that still breaths in the leaf. And just as I was giving up for the night I saw him. A familiar face lying in wait amongst the shadow. His face non-descript and indecipherable. He took one look in my eyes, wrapped his arm around me and said "the scream quietens with time, whatever you did, find comfort that you did the right thing." I looked at him, and I saw something in him I had never seen before, I didn't see the weird emotionless husk that he appeared to be. I saw the scarred and hollowed out shadow of a man haunted by his ghosts. And since then I focused less on fearing my dreams and more on filling the void his past left on his life. Sakura, I have never felt so completed."

"I should have been there Ino, I have been selfish. I swallowed myself in my own sorrow, blinded myself to others needs. I guess im trying to apologise and I'm going to say this now because well I haven't said anything yet." moving from her seat she walked around the small table and enveloped Ino in to a hug "Congratulations! You are going to be a fantastic mother."

She heard Ino sniffle slightly under her and as she moved out of the hug Sakura made a point to wipe away that stray tear she saw falling. "Can we just both agree and get on with it? We both messed up." Sharing a laugh, Ino nodded.

After an explanatory story on how she told Sai and the day they found out it was a boy, with many kettles of water later they settled in to conversation like they had never been apart.

"So it's just going to be you two huh? Does Kakashi even talk? I mean he's always so silent." Sakura scoffed at Ino's observation. "Yeah he talks, but not so much to many people. To be honest I'm actually really looking forward to time away from the village. It's going to be a long string of months. After this mission I'll be back here until April then away for a while. I mean I will have to decide wither to stay permeant in The Sand or not when I come back for the holidays but that's a long way off."

"So do you have any plans when you come back, I mean since Team 7 is dissolving?"

"Not really" Sakura huffed as she rested her chin in her hand.

"Good you can babysit!" Ino joked – but with an upmost finality in her tone. The devastation struck through her smile when she remembered. Sakura looked down unable to look at the disappointment in her friends eyes

"I can always visit right?"

In a joyful turn of events the two friends sat and spoke of all the heart aches, longings, sorrows, and joys that had occurred over the last few weeks, months, and years. And when they finished, no time had passed, there was no distance between them. They had soon found the daylight had worn away, lost in each other's tales till the hours ticked late. With a warm hug Sakura left in to the evening, a truly content smile rested upon her.

The gentle wind came to trace the fears she couldn't ignore anymore. Unable to settle her brewing thoughts she walked aimlessly. Catching brief glimpses of silver in the night's sky. And as the moon hung high above the leaf, Sakura felt a familiar pain beckon to her, pulling her forwards. Without thinking she found herself at a painfully familiar door.

* * *

 **Note:**

I feel like i should intro here music here now aha! It feels like forever since I've been able to sit down and flex my typing fingers. I am really happy to have this complete and ready for reading - with great thanks to my lovely proof reader that sat with me a good three hours. Anyhow.. i found this stage in the story tough because there was so much i wanted in here that i had to take out and others that had to be altered. This is now were the swing of the story gets momentum! *squee*

 **Replies:**

 _deBrumbled_ \- Because they are in fact fully grown men and respectful through their jobs and loyalties i thought it'd be completely out of character if they were suddenly *80's suggestive music here* aha! I'm really glad you liked it! Also - all love the for shadow clone game .. expect maybe Kakashi - i mean he does get hit a lot :P poor guy. _Indiegirl97 -_ thank you for the support! *thumbs up* ^.^

note: regarding troll reviews, which i've had on two works (including this one) will be removed as soon as i can following it's upload. I'm making this clear, telling someone to harm themselves or wishing someone harm is disgusting and such a cruel act. I'm old enough now that when i see such stupidity i ignore it but there are still vulnerable people out there, maybe someone writing their own work or reading this one and i will show no tolerance for troll reviews. I believe them not only to be unconstructive but uncomfortable and harmful for myself and readers.


	8. Quit crying your eyes out

Hey guys! It's been a long time hasn't it… *looks sheepish*

 **Song Note:/** Baby Come On by +44

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Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The moonlight lit the sky, mirrored on the street as he walked into the building. Kakashi sat in slight discomfort at the side of the bar in the usual pub. Head hung low and shoulders heavy but no noticeable scrapes or bruises. This indicated to the bar man that the possibility that Kakashi's visit was more than simple post-mission drink. The barman appeared curious as he passed the small jug over. Though as always, with lips pressed in to a thin line and with a brief momentary pause he made his leave from the heavy lidded figure at his bar.

"Hey, sorry would you mind if I took two cups. I am intending to visit an old friend, it doesn't need to be anything special, any old ones would do." Came a melancholy voice from behind him.

The owner halted, and reached under the counter, and with gentle care placed two fine sake cups upon the bar. "Any old friends of yours Kakashi, deserve only the finest. And honestly, I know where you drink if you lose them, tell your friend he is gone but not forgotten. The people of Konoha are forever grateful".

The barman let the hint of smile escape as he looked at the copy-nin before he turned to study the copper bottles under the bar. A small dusty outline caught the barman's eye, after a quick review of the label he placed it in front of the solemn man.

"It's an old thing, don't protest. No one drinks this stuff here, the least you could do as a regular would be to take it out of my hands, right?" His eye's glaze slightly at what seems like a fond memory. "Plus it was his usual".

With a dismissing wave he turned on his heel, "go meet your friend Kakashi-sama, come back with those cups mind you". The barman listened for the protest that wouldn't come just encase, as he gave space to a man he respected.

After thanking the silhouette of a familiar friend Kakashi spun out from the bar and promptly left.

He jumped to the rooftops speeding towards the Hokage monument. His mind clouded with the day's turmoil's, and the ghost of Sakura's face haunted him to the point he swore he saw her in streets.

With heave of effort Kakashi landed squarely on his destination. Landing with practiced graced upon the soft curve of the stone he placed the cups in front of him. Opening the bottle, he filled the cup. The scent of alcohol filling the night air.

Draining the cup, he sighed. Placing a hand on the cool stone face. "Sensei" he whispered under voice. "Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Namikaze Minato, Senju Tsunade. Am I ready to lead, Minato sensei?"

The cool air chilled and the gentle breeze caressed Kakashi's heated face. He looked at the shadows cast by the lantern he had brought with him. Looking at the deepening shadows with each flicker the wind caused, reminding him of a solitary shadow peaking on the very same monument. A deafening roar, a single silhouette, jacket billowing in the night's breeze. One man channelling the will of fire, staring into an oncoming storm of the ferocious hatred from the nine-tails, a devastating attack irresistible by very nature.

With that thought he looked out at the village, the lights, the noises, the smells. He was overcome with gratitude and the gravity of how's life pulling him forward. He would sacrifice himself for the village. He had always been ready and willing, however now that he has reason to live, responsibility. The village must go on, he thought to himself. The team has been dissolved, split and separated. His small spark of happiness being transferred away. Hinging on this one appointment he was rooted.

The weights and shackles of the village almost insufferable for the first time…ever, and with a defeated sigh, lay back to think.

Plagued by a need for answers he thought on his yellowed haired teacher and his infinite well of wisdom.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The blue eyes stared wakefully from the light of the door despite the late hour. "Hey Sakura, you're a little late to ask me out". He teased, sticking his tongue out and making silly noises.

Sakura laughed, no matter the hour, the situation, no matter her mood, he always made her laugh. His hair was brushed roughly back like he'd been stressed and had ran his hands through it too many times. "You know you could always go get it cut, it would look nice shorter. Or is the great hero of the leaf above a lowly haircut nowadays?" Sakura teased playfully.

As if suddenly aware he ran his hands through it roughly to bring the messy fringe back over his forehead, "Nah, it's not that long yet." he clicked his tongue smiling "I was just trying to meditate but I kept getting too agitated.

"Agitated? Why?"

He shrugged lightly "Dunno, this schooling isn't my thing and well planning a wedding with such an organised family is kind of scary". She envisioned Naruto now at the centre of a family meeting at the Hyuga household and found the stern and stoic Hyuga discussing something serious like a wedding with the madness that is Naruto both completely normal and hysterically funny. "Ah, yeah I can see how nervous that'd make you. You poor thing" she reached out weakly and nudged his shoulder back playfully.

"Is this your way of asking if you can come in?" he raised a quizzical eyebrow and stood still as if daring her to jump in to action. Even if she was ready to teach him a lesson Sakura wasn't sure that's how she wanted to start their conversation. Though it always helped to get some energy out, tonight wasn't the night for it. He seemed to read the body language and resigned from leaning on the door frame, he opened the door wider and welcomed her in to the pooling warm light of his home.

Pillows were thrown over the floor, boxes half empty from his recent move tucked messily in one corner and books were being flanked by empty ramen pots. "Ah so you're still setting up."

"Well yeah", he rubbed the back of his head "I was doing well and then I lost my new arm cause … well I dunno, I guess I was too rough with it, and well I couldn't get much done until yesterday again."

She summoned the words she needed to discuss the matter at hand, before her loud and charismatic friend invited to forget her worries with his easy manner and buffoonish behaviours.

"Naruto. I have to tell you and I don't even know how to do this."

This took him off guard.

Concern gently reached from his eyes as he took her hand "Sakura. What's wrong?" His voice was deep and calm, at times like this she could see the man he was becoming and it both filled her with happiness for the future and nostalgic for the gutsy little boy who always came out smiling. If this had been a few years ago she would've laughed at the thought of coming to Naruto for any kind of advice, beyond maybe ramen, and now he was family, a brother in every way, and more than the word could imply. His comforting hand reassuring her to talk, and she knew no matter the issue he would still be there at the end of the conversation.

It helped, a lot.

"I.. was in a meeting today with the Hokage, she's made it official now." Sakura didn't have to explain, both her and Naruto had spoken about this before, that they both had dreaded this day but knew it was approaching.

He gently squeezed her hand "Ah I see." Was all he said before guiding her to the only mess free zone of the room to sit on a yellow patterned sofa.

As she took a seat he let go of her hand and suddenly she felt cold with its absence. Dropping himself on the sofa he swung an arm to lay across the top of it and turned to face her.

"This sucks, I mean it really sucks. I can't believe it's real." He hushed to himself.

As his eyes met hers again they seemed to gain composure, "But hey it's not like its permanent or anything, we'll all still be together, Team 7 originals yeah?" With a brief pause he then added "Well when _Sasuke_ comes back."

She breathed deeply to steady her nerves "That's thing other thing Naruto it's going to be a bit more permanent. I'm going on a mission with Kakashi I will be back from, but after that I'm being transferred to the sand. I'm not even sure if it has an expiry date."

Naruto stared blankly for a moment, like the words had stung him. Sakura felt guilty and lowered her head.

She felt a shift in the cushion beside her, then her head was prodded, "Hey, Sakura-chan please don't look like that. It'll be okay."

She looked up as tears streamed warm and gently down her face. She hadn't realised how much she had been holding back over the day, how much it had ate away at her until she was faced with the realisation about who she would be leaving behind and how much she would miss them.

Naruto brought her in a comfortable one armed hug, bringing her closer to his chest he leaned his chin on her head. "When did you get so tall" she asked partly in surprise.

"I'm presuming I'm not allowed to know the reason why you're leaveing?" he asked more than stated, completely ignoring her question.

"No, I guess it isn't confidential, well not as far as mission sakes, as its developing transparency between villages." Taking a moment she wiped weakly at the tears that had started to dry. "Garra needs a medic nin, Chiyo asked specifically within her recommendation. I guess they thought they could try and work something out but the war really took a toll on their medical sector."

"Oh. Well that sounds really important. I know why they picked you. But honestly I wish they didn't. I don't want to have to miss you that much. It's going to be really difficult to bear this place without you.." He spoke gently, barely above a whisper.

Sakura was in two minds, the allure of the comfort offered by Naruto, so warm and enrapturing. It was the very essence of everything she had missed in the last year. All the dark moments, all the conversations with herself. The days of crying and fearing going home to shadows and cold rooms. The images that had haunted her in her isolation cracked and melted. She realised saying anything about this would ruin this moment. This last memory with her dearest friend before leaving forever.

So instead of saying anything, she just kept her thought to herself and rested in to his embrace, enjoying the feel of a warm and trusted friend.

They spoke about his schooling, her work as a Jonin and his engagement. The wedding was slowly coming together and it looked like the date set would be within the next two years at some point.

'Scary', he really was growing up and Sakura could see how much he loved Hinata when he spoke of her and the future they would have in the home he was seating up. It had been on 'recommendation' from his soon father-in-law that he and hinata should not share a home until the marriage was official. Such was the way in an traditional family. To say Naruto seemed disappointed would not be accurate, he was very disappointed if slightly frustrated. With all this growing up he still wasn't one for half measures, Sakura presumed this would also apply to his romantic life.

Naruto had to fetch Sakura a blanket as she had begun to shiver, the house hadn't been supplied with heating yet. Something which he sheepishly said was on the to-do list, but had yet to do so.

After some tea they splayed out on the floor amongst the pillows that had been scattered and went through some lists he'd put together for suppliers. Sakura had the sneaking inclination that he wasn't quite confident in picking them himself. Having lived in the same apartment before since childhood, the bills of which had all been set up by the third's administration. After pulling them together Sakura placed the best provider measured by cost effective for this area of the village.

He looked relieved, which acted as confirmation that she'd been right to help.

The box she had been given by the old shopkeeper this afternoon caught her attention, nestled tightly within her backpack. Truthfully she had forgotten all about it. Pulling the bag across she presented the Fourth's weapon to Naruto and told of her wishes to give it to him or Kakashi dependent on what he thought.

Naruto's eyes had glazed over somewhat that it appeared he was lost in thought. Running the short blade through his hand and feeling the weight and balance of the long handle he seemed to be evaluating it.

"Ah, Sakura-Chan I can't believe you found something of my dad's in a place like that. It's weird that it's been there for so long".

"What are you thinking?" she asked lightly, knowing Naruto as she did now the expression he wore told her he was trying to come back from painful memories. "I'm sorry Naruto, I'm sorry if this made you feel bad. I just didn't know but I didn't want to leave it there. It belongs with you."

Feeling nervous she watched his response carefully, and to her surprise a smile swiftly reached his eyes once again.

"No. It belongs with Kakashi." He said with comfortable ease, like whatever had been bothering him before had lifted like sun on a raining day.

"Are you sure Naruto?" she found herself stammering.

"I'm sure Sakura, Konohamaru found a storage lock up with my parents old things, Kunai, books, even old scarves my mum knitted for me when she was pregnant. Your right it would mean more to Kakashi, but thanks for bringing it here. Its awesome to see the people remember my dad."

He just chuckled lightly at her worried expression and placed it in her hand, his enthusiastic grin stripping the doubt from her.

With that he gave her his moronic signature grin and chucked an empty ramen cup at her. To say her reaction was swift would not do the resulting carnage justice. They fought, they laughed and stray noodles went everywhere. She hoped his future father in law wouldn't be visiting the tomorrow, She did not think the head of the Hyuga clan would enjoy his daughter living in a noodle basin.

After destruction was dealt and Naruto was hugged goodnight she made her way through the near dawn hours home a smile plastered across her face.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

The barman was more than happy to see the two china cups returned, even treated himself and Kakashi to a drink.

"Any insight from the 4th, Kakashi-san?. I know you go there to think. What a man at your age needs is a wife. Someone there during the dark hours to take the silly ramblings of a fool and turn them to the diamonds of glimmering wisdom that truly makes a man wise." He placed down his cup and cleared his throat almost as if it had been rehearsed.

"Chiro has been gone 10 years now and I get more foolish every day without her guiding hand nagging me at all times. Take it from an old fool Kakashi-san, the only thing you will ever truly miss in 30 years' time, is the nagging of someone who is never there." The old man wiped his mouth and turned his head towards an old painting of a young couple deeply in love and smiling, the woman's face radiant and happy. The old man sighed. Sorrow clearly a constant companion under the stare of times now past.

Kakashi sat and listened, in all the years he had come here this was the most the old man had spoken to him. Normally he would order a drink have small talk and move on. Just a fleeting interaction and yet this one bar tender saw deeper than he would have liked. The raw edge of vulnerability chafed at him and so Kakashi paid his tab and left, almost in panic.

As the door closed behind him Kakashi sighed, this night was quickly becoming fogged in deep thought and self-doubt. Head against a wall he asked himself "Am all i capable of is moping? My student has progressed to the heights of a highly respected nin. I should be happy for her, so why is this so difficult?" This thought was the last to run through his mind.

Then the rumbling started. Out of the darkness in the street barrelled something silver...and green?

"MOVE IT OR LOSE IT KAKASHI!" A cloud of dust thundered past in the night as a wheel chair swept the distraught silver haired nin to the ground. "TAG YOUR IT, KAKASHI! ONE MORE VICTORY TO ME, YOU HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO IF YOU WANT TO BE THE SIIIIIXTH!" Mad cackling followed the cloud of dust into the dark evening air.

While covered in dust and dazed from the whole situation a sprinting pair of green trousers passed in a ruffling screaming

"Gai sensei! Stop! You're going to hurt someone!" Lee stopped over a dazed Kakashi "Apologies Kakashi sensei!" Then made off into the night.

Hatake Kakashi chuckled briefly, dusted himself off laughing. Then jumped to the rooftops and with a predatory grin screamed "GAIIIIII!"

The mad cackling followed deep within Konoha. The epic rivalry was afoot. The events of the evening became infamous, mostly due to much shouting, destruction, and many disturbed citizens. The challenge was declared a draw, when a third party groggily awoke and spoke in a no way lady like manner before retreating the Hokage residential area where as a celebrated hero of slumber she went back to sleep. Cheered by the happy snores of her residents and staff.

Panting as the morning sky brightened Kakashi wiped the sweat from his brow. He looked about the clearing he was standing in and smiled. Standing next to his wheelchair bound friend, he felt the bitterness of the evening dissipated to a blissful peace.

"Kakashi" Guy said quietly, his eyes staring brightly into the dawn. "Take moments like these to your heart, sometimes you are too dark. Lighten up, if you can't smell the roses you will miss the true meaning of the spring time of youth." Guy looked up hopefully as the Silver haired shadow turned to him. "I saw you brooding".

"Guy, we are the old generations. There is no springtime of youth left for us. We are at the last stop on this journey. And I do not brood." The morose nin pulled out a bottle of water and took a deep drink, and smiled. Guy looked quizzically at the bottle, eyebrow raised.

"I took it from a stall as we were running about the village, don't worry I left money…" As he said this he pulled out a second bottle and tossed it to Guy.

Guy rumbled a laugh and rushed his water choking only partly as he finished first."Speak for yourself you grey haired old man, as long as I can have the wind in my hair and youth in my heart I will always move forward. There is no true end to a man's adventure."

He twisted his wheel chair and swivelled round. "If Lee hadn't dragged me out for a drink I would never have run into you, don't be a stranger old friend, come drink and chat rather than stand alone at night. Sometimes Kakashi as your eternal rival I really worry about you." With his last words of friendship Guy rolled his way into the morning, occasionally cursing the branches stopping his chair.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura stretched as she folded herself out of bed, she had finally gotten a good sleep. This was likely the second last time she'd be waking up in this bed for a while. An S rank mission was a serious affair, there was never time to really plan, especially when the two nin placed with the responsibility with running it were experienced. They would plan on the way, which would only be relevant if Kakashi hadn't already formed a few ideas, for someone so relaxed with time he was always planning.

Moving to her fridge she inspected for food that would need emptied prior to her leaving. There wasn't much, thankfully she hadn't just paid for whole food shop before being assigned this mission. Having emptied the fridge she got her other affairs in order, clothes, weapons and assortment of medical supplies. What kind of medic would she be otherwise? The clothes were the difficult part, this was a covert mission, and she couldn't exactly dress how she would for tracking through the forest to their destination. So in went sun wear, travel wear to survive mud and the one good dress she owned encase they had to blend in somewhere more privy to money.

"This is going to be too heavy." She huffed at her backpack, _'they'll suspect something alright if I'm carrying a bolder of clothes without help'_. Pulling some stuff out she realised much to her shame that'd she'd packed the sort of underwear you don't even show yourself you're wearing. If this missions activities went to that corner it wouldn't be good. She wasn't told specifically that she would have to consider such things but it was a good idea to prepare for the event if it became necessary. She'd count herself as a fool for even trying to dismiss the fact that sometimes certain missions called for that. Everyone she knew had been through it, aside from her, but again she hadn't been on many discrete missions of this nature.

Kakashi had been though, but she didn't want to have to ask him. She guessed even in the event she had the courage to ask, he wouldn't really follow the same steps a woman would. She blushed a bit at the thought.

 _'I'll have to ask Tsunade'_ and with that she realised she needed to ask about a few other things.

On her way to the office she heard murmurs of the destruction the 'infamous rivals' had caused last night and found herself shaking her head laughing before she began to feel a bit slighted.

He hadn't said two words to her after leaving the office and the first thing he goes and does is run around causing an event that was _'only matched by the Kyuubi's attack on Konoha?'_ That didn't sit well in her stomach, not that she was mad just bitter and she hated it.

 _'What was I expecting?'_

Climbing the stairs to the office she passed Yamato showing some students around and Anko arguing with what looked like a really nervous intern who'd ate the wrong batch of sweets. "I told you I didn't know they were yours" he pleaded.

Sakura felt bad at leaving him under the wrath of Anko, but everyone had to learn, it was a right of passage almost. Don't eat from the purple bowl by the third window of the 4th floor.

When she finally got to the door of the Hokage office she was relieved to be out of the flurry of noise. Against the sides of the door the Anbu eyed her, empty and cold in contrast to the warm summer day. The icy feeling from before returned, as it always did.

Announcing her name she then knocked sharply on the Hokage door.

She could here Tsunade's heels clunk against the wooden floor as she approached the door.

"Ah, Sakura just the person I wanted to see. Please come in." As she opened the door Sakura's stomach fluttered at the sight of Kakashi standing near the desk. Hands by his side formally but shoulders relaxed comfortably.

"Morning Sakura" he smiled from behind the mask.

"Morning Kakashi-sensei" she felt warm and cursed herself inwardly for her reaction. Standing at the other side of the desk she watched as Tsunade took her seat, sleep rings under her eyes. The pressure from the previous amount of paper work wouldn't have been friendly to her nature.

"Right, so I'm presuming you both took the night to do something that pertains to getting your things in order."

Kakashi nodded, "I've gotten everything together, and I've drew up the base of the covert operation. Which is why I am here." At this he placed a scroll on to the desk, Tsunade eyed it carefully as she opened it.

"Ah so I see you have actually done your work this time Kakashi, I'm rather proud of this turn of events. Maybe we should have paired you up with Sakura more often to get you more equated with deadlines." It was a joke but at the same point it came likely from a place of annoyance over his recent tardiness with written reports.

He nodded as if accepting the remark and met Tsunade's eyes with a hint of conspiracy about his one visible eye.

The room fell to silence as she read the report, interspersed with occasional hums and serious expression.

"I see you've packed a lot of clothing in comparison to before, do you expect the a long time frame?" she asked.

"Yes. On review of the documents i received, this is going to be a complicated case. I expect it may take a few months of careful deliberation undercover."

Tsunade nodded and with a gentle wave of her hand motioned for him to continue.

At this he pulled a scroll and laid it flat on the table. "As you can see I've highlighted cases from the hospitals that follow a similar pattern. Lilac coloured sclera and symptoms of what seems to be chakra drainage." He pointed to a list of dates and locations "as you can see the events are all coordinated with the coming and goings with the same company of merchants from the sand, however each time we search their caravan to check for it there is never any physical evidence."

He pulled out another scroll this one containing a comparative list from what seemed like a hallucinogenic social drug, and the other which seemed like a deadly poison. "They both highlight and present deaths in the same manner, but are fundamentally different. One causes vivid dream; hallucination; and feelings of euphoria, and the other creates a spike of adrenaline induce the flight or fight panic, either causing people to go into cardiac arrest or to suddenly become extremely aggressive." He ran a hand through his hair. "We need to trace this drug REM and find out whether it's the source of this poison or linked. It is imperative we intercede before this is weaponized."

"Do you believe them to be linked through supplier?"

"Yes I do" he replied formally. "Hence the clothes, we don't know if its a wealthy merchant or just a street level run down. It's unlikely to be street level with the sophistication but these clothes for both of us will mould our disguises to our requirements. Ultimately it does seem to be the same supplier guessing by how the locations are linked."

"That's what my initial belief was as well, it does seem that the overlaying and known substance within both are very similar. However the deaths related to poison are much more unclear, they can't find out what makes the poison so deadly. A pure sample hasn't been attained and with that no clear understanding of the ingredients. It is worrying, very worrying." Tsunade nipped at the end of a pen she now held to her mouth.

"If they are linked yes it is. If they are linked it may be indicative of a greater syndicate is running the operation" Kakashi agreed.

"Again my thoughts exactly, these aren't exactly attainable ingredients. Expensive to say the very least."

Sakura could only watch as they bounced off each other, she hadn't been aware that Kakashi had access to files before her. She felt herself grow angry at the display of theory, why hadn't she been given access. Of course she wasn't marked as leading the cover mission yet it still baffled her at the lack of inclusion.

"If I may. Will I be given access to the transcript sent over as well? I wouldn't ask but formally I must for the sake of my position in this mission." At first she wished she'd said it differently and had refrained from such a dramatic choice of words, but it got both their attention for better or worse.

"Of course, Kakashi has supplied a debriefing transcript for you."

At this Sakura takes the paper from Kakashi now out stretched hand and then begins to read the mission statement.

 **[Debrief Statement for Mission: CODED FITHTA6700]** They are to pose as a couple working as merchants trying to sell their pharmaceuticals to try and establish trade routes to eventually start opening shops to complement the one in Konoha. Which would be run by **'Chiba'** an Anbu agent posing as the shop keep, this will also be present within **the Sand Village** whereby another shop will be emplaced to strengthen supporting narrative. Sand store will also act as a linking factor when transmitting information to Kazakage's office. The goal of the mission is to **track, identify and if needs be eliminate manufacture**. After completion Sakura will follow up position with the Sand and present a report to them of all findings, with **complete transparency**.

Sakura was startled by the delicacy of the mission, understanding that though Anbu may be more qualified there was a need for a display to unearth the hidden avenues attached to this case. Simply moving in the shadows wasn't enough. Rereading the debrief the line _'posed as a couple'_ seemed to jump from the page. They were to establish a relationship between two characters and live as shop runners. She weighed that in her thoughts for a moment but didn't let it takeover. This wasn't the time for such thoughts.

"The Kasakage established a common ground with the village of Takigakure?" she asked for clarification, as she wasn't sure on how exactly two nin from Konoha would fair in a property rights court without a whole lot of headache.

"Yes. Though Kakashi just has the debriefing now, there has been an overall formation of mission planning between the villages for the past two weeks. It just took great care when deciding who was going to be given the task."

At this Tsunade gave a sharp nod in Kakashi's direction, "However this debriefing is extremely well put together in such a short time with the information you had. I'm impressed that you managed to pull everything together from that mountain of paper work."

Kakashi gave a light exasperated laugh "I would be lying if I said I was in any way looking forward to the bureaucracy involved in this sort of thing."

Tsunade beamed "Ah, yes that reminds me that I'll soon get to enjoy retirement."

Enthusiastically she lifted the scrolls still left on her table and went to hand them to Kakashi, however in happenstance, that he wasn't as close as he thought he was and she didn't have the balance that she thought she had, one of the edges of a loose scroll scraped the end of his thumb.

Before she could apologise a popping sound rang though the room with the faint trails of smoke tumbling around with the scrolls, which now clattered to the floor.

A tense silence.

Then a thunderous storm hit.

Sakura scrambled for the scrolls as Tsunade raged.

"THAT DAMENABLE SPIKEY HAIRD …. HOW DARE HE BRING A SHADOW CLONE TO WORK!"

As Sakura stepped tentatively back from the desk Tsunade reeled in her direction, slamming her hands on the desk!

"GO WAKE THAT LAZY BASTARD UP! WAKE ME UP AT THAT TIME OF THE MORNING FOR A MESS ABOUT WITH GAI AND THEN NOT SHOW UP, HUH KAKASHI? YOU WILL RUE THE DAY!"

Her face mirrored that of demon so aptly depicted within the temples.

With those simple instructions Sakura fled to safety and towards Kakashi's flat.

* * *

Yo! Please review guys. Yous are my fuel. :P Hope you enjoyed this one, i wanted to play a bit with the other peeps within the village. Most fics i read don't spend much (if any) time with the others outside the main protagonists.. so i really wanted to make the world feel a bit more alive and added some Gai and Lee.. oh i love those two beautiful beings aha.


	9. A dark world aches for a splash of sun

**Song note: /** Cough Syrup by Young The Giant

* * *

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

As she made through the intrepid heat, mind wandering over the consequences of her ex team captains antics. He wasn't one to deviate much from duty, _'well he hadn't been caught as much'_.

But this earlier episode was bound to induce the wrath of the legendary sannin, in more ways than one and in plenty of abundance. Sakura theorized that her mentor would strike Kakashi at his weakest, when he was training to take up the Hokage chair, when he took time to rest and read and or when he as much as breathed in her general direction. Sakura flinched internally as bygone memories welled up in the back of her mind; hoarse shouting, dirt, fists, drunken splurges, there accompanying hangovers and failed gambling sprees. It was going to be hell for him, and at first she gave a short huff of laughter at the thought. Then she remembered. She was going to miss it all from her new life in the Sand. Slowly her humor was eroded and a sadness gripped her, not like a knife but a slow pressure deep in her gut. Uncomfortable and unshakable.

Stopping as she reached her destination her thoughts also came to a halt she started to plan out how she would exactly she would handle this. As she looked up at his apartment, many stories above her she watched as a bird danced cheerily on a flower basket carefully sheltered on the ledge of his balcony. The bird seemed to look down to her quizzically as a thought emerged out of her earlier gloom at the reality of her future, one which left a half devious smile cross her face. A simple uncomplicated and childish notion had been whispered from the deep recess of her mind. The side of her that had been asleep for years seemingly stirred and prompted…For all the windowsill surprises, for all the silly little tricks, and childish glee at getting away with it. A voice shouted eagerly, encouragingly…

' _IT'S TIME FOR VENGENCE! LET'S DO THIS!'_

It wasn't unlike Kakashi to be above such antics, so she came to the conclusion that she shouldn't be held to account for some simple fun either. Before anyone walking through the streets noticed, the pink kunoichi started to scale the building before her. Aptly she moved through the grooves in the brick work with her fingers and let her chakra do the rest of the work through her boots. As she approached the ledge, the tiny bird ruffled its feathers almost in anticipation and bounced to the other side of the pot to watch her.

With her tiny feathered audience waiting for the show she poked her head around the side of the balcony to look at what she had to work with.

A single wide window, roughly fitting her height if she crouched, one curtain was messily tied back to give room to the fresh air, whilst its partner hung half lazily pulled over to stop the sun reaching the bed. The bed where a half dressed figure lay asleep amongst twisted green sheets, with an open copy of Icha Icha Paradise covering their face.

It should have been an odd sight, but it wasn't, it really wasn't. If you had any experience with the future Sixth Hokage as your teacher. The only changing variable was the absence of a shirt. The heat must have left him cooking from the inside. Kakashi hadn't received or moved to a new build after the war, the new builds with air conditioning and proper insulation for winter. One's that functioned as normal homes and didn't attempt to slowly bake their owners.

' _No he was relieved'_ to retain his old home and embraced it happily regardless of its fittings or lack thereof.

She watched his chest slowly rise and fall with the deep patterned breaths of sleep. The scars left from his fight with Obito drew two soft pink lines across him, two of many that she had previously healed on him. He was always getting hurt and always without concern for himself. Looking over the map of battles left permanently on fair skin, she tried to blink the flickering images of the green aura of healing chakra over his wounds from mind. She really hated that, the way her memories would do this to her. It was like living a life half split from yourself with an occasional haunting which came and went without as much of a knock on the door to signal its arrival. It was hard, to see strong people crumble; blood and bone, dirt and tears meet at a battles end. It was just that. It was always hard, and always a part of the present as much as it was the past and the future.

This mission was likely the last she'd be serving with him, and she'd be damned if she would let those images be part of the future once again. Regardless of current affairs, and the lack of foundation to their rocky relationship, Sakura felt a primal desire to protect him. The man who never needed protection _'how foolish'_ she felt, but true to her heart the desire never faded, not to be sated with logic or reason.

Leaving one hand to hold on to the wall she ruffled about in her bag and felt for something that would help her claim sweet, sweet vengeance. Pulling a nail file from the bag she slid it under the window, undoing the latches. Sliding the window open, careful to make no noise.

With a huff she realized that she couldn't find any idea object that would help. Nothing to pour over him or fling, not a single thing, not even a bottle of water.

' _This is tricky what can I do?'_

Her eyes narrowed in on him and the obstacle of the window surpassed as a plan formed. She would need to be quick, quicker than the breath it would take him to pick on her scent in the room and wake up. Her heart fluttered in excitement, as she readied herself. Technically as he was the future Hokage this was a crime, breaking and entering, not mention how she was going to wake him up.

' _Hopefully Lady Tsunade won't mind….'_

With a quick burst of deliberate and gentle movement Sakura maneuvered herself in through the window. With a light bounce from one foot to the other she landed on the wooden flooring with little sound. As she crept towards her prey she felt the tingling heat of chakra filling the tips of her fingers. With a flash of a devious grin she leaned down towards the silver tuft of hair poking out from under the pages of the sultry romance novel. Holding out her hands, in close proximity of an exposed ear, and with confidence Sakura smacked the chakra between both hands together. Accumulating in an exceptionally loud chakra clap, which vibrated against the enclosed space like thunder.

Kakashi started from his restful state quicker than the young kunoichi could register. Within a breath she felt her body weight shift without her involvement. Once confident composure was filled with startled confusion, as he pirouetted under her arm, grabbed her wrist and twisted it up behind her back. Stunned by his response she folded under the restraint he locked her in to and found herself on the floor under him.

On looking upon his startled, adrenaline disheveled face she let out a loud laugh. The laugh was half delirious out of the shock of being restrained so easily and having gotten such an aggressive response to such a childish action.

It was only when she felt the weight of his leg put pressure against her inner thigh to pin her leg, and his weight settle on her lower abdomen to secure the hold, did she feel the atmosphere in the room shift and recognition start settle across his features.

There was a pause as he stared down at her, with the look of someone who was holding back from swearing profusely. Sakura realized rather quickly how her childish behavior had opened up a door of unfortunate consequence as she stared up at the unmasked, barely clothed and very warm copy-nin. That was until a sheepish smile broke across his once sombre looking face and he said lazily "guess I got busted huh…"

"mhm" she smiled, it didn't occur to her that he really never thought he'd get away with a shadow clone today, especially after his last night antics with Gai. However he was too clever for his own good sometimes, and this was probably more normal an occurrence than Tsunade would likely ever uncover.

"It must've happened when I feel asleep?" He queried like some calculation had been off.

"Nope. Your downfall was a humble paper cut." She clarified somewhat happily, that the great copy-nin had been thwarted by a simple nondescript piece of paper. He seemed to digest that for a moment then nodded.

"My old nemesis strikes again… Paper..." He stated dramatically raising an eyebrow towards her chuckling slightly.

"Then… Sakura?" he said confused, almost like he wasn't the one who was currently pinning her to the floor.

She raised an eyebrow, "Yes?" Her eyelids fluttering innocently.

He looked at her properly now, his eyes briefly taking in their interlocking limbs, "What the hell was that about…?"

"I was sent by lady Tsunade to collect you, she was… eh really pissed off." This wasn't her proudest moment to be fair. She didn't exactly envision this would be the outcome, It didn't feel much like a victory.

Growing discomfort began to rise from the protest of her limbs at their restrained angle, and as she started to become aware of the intimate nature of his body over hers she felt him flinch. She watched as an expression she could not read crossed his face as he swiftly ended the restraint and regained composure back on his feet.

Sakura felt the loss of the intimate position and warmth of his chest deeply. She sighed weightily as a not so unfamiliar feeling of smouldering warmth replaced his deep within her stomach. It had seemed past discretion's weren't forbidden from her mind as she had previously hoped. He reached out a hand to her and pulled her to her feet.

"Sorry about that" he gestured to the floor "But you did go and startle an old man, you know we get pretty jumpy. A heart attack could be right round the corner".

She stared a second, then looked to her feet not knowing what to say. One of his blue uniformed shirts was laying discarded on the floor. And with sight of the clothing she found her words.

"Being grey haired and grouchy doesn't make you old". Swiftly, if a little messily, she picked up the shirt, balled it up and threw it at his face. "Being slow does".

The blue blob hit his shocked face as the pink blur turned and leaped from his window. She laughed into the summer streets weighed with heat and the traffic of day to day shoppers. With regained composure and distance from what had made uncomfortable thoughts clamber into her mind she spun and dashed back towards the Hokage office.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Kakashi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 _A hand caressing his jaw as she smiled. Their lips meet in a climax that had built for years. Looking in her eyes for courage he said…_

Reality violently enveloped him with the sudden sounding clap of thunder and a chakra presence pressing against his senses. Instinct surged and he reached out and grabbed at the presence without pausing, callused hands met soft skin as he restrained the offending presence to the floor. Within his first breath a scent of herb-mix and strawberry-vanilla filled him. He immediately knew who was pinned beneath him, and the world orientated around her flushed face accordingly. It was Sakura, and he couldn't quite work out from his sleep fogged brain what exactly was going on.

Then realization sparked and he understood, he'd been caught, _'of course, but what the hell was that noise?'_

Head spinning he questioned her vaguely, guiltily relishing the smell and feel of her beneath him. For a moment he let himself enjoy the connection before he stood breaking the grasp, ever aware of the boundaries of their friendship and the etiquette of a superior.

He watched her guilty rub her arm, as she looked to his feet. His age had never chafed him quite so much as he realized how long it took for him to react and then figure out who he'd caught. This was a strange way to be woken, he'd never figured Sakura to feel confident enough to spring on him in such a way. An amused sense of pride tinged the edges of his lips and he felt himself smile. Whilst lost in thought something blue and soft collided with his face. As he shook himself into what he realized to be his bundled shirt a giggling pink wind laughed its way out of sight, but still heavily in mind. Placing his book with gentle care in to a drawer he composed himself before getting ready. Stepping out into the approaching afternoon air he smiled and for the second time in less than twenty four hours, he gave chase following the smell of strawberries and vanilla in to the village center.

Within a short time he slowed to a walk as the Hokage building came in to view and the color of pink and a bright smile greeted him.

"Are you ready then? We've got a lot to collect. First light is not a prime time to be packing this stuff and I'm not doing it on my own Sensei."

"Fair enough. But first light isn't so bad. An extra hour in bed however is better. We won't be running anywhere for a long time. So it's going to be a long and frightfully dull stroll starting tomorrow." Though he was being slightly dramatic, truthfully he always felt like a stick in the mud when it came to such complicated missions as this. Ones where it wasn't a simple cut and dry narrative, but ones that pertained to various levels of complicated interactions and character play. They would have to be very careful.

He watched as realization played on Sakura's face, "Ah, yeah I guess we'll be covert once we leave after all. Once we leave it all starts."

"It does" he nodded, "are you feeling ready for this? We're going to be away for a long time." He asked knowing what she would say, but with aim to unveil what she would try to cover. He was concerned.

"I'm ready. This is my first mission in a while, but I'm ready." A look previously missing from her past reflections seemed to cross her face, a look of stubbornness that Kakashi was glad to see. "Admittedly, we have to be honest, right?" she asked.

' _Honest?'_ He almost choked on the thought. A single word leaving a choice, one that could shred all integrity he claimed to hold.

"Yeah honest is good." He lied.

Arriving at the Hokage's office, they collected their belongings and made their way to collect what would be needed for the coming months. As they passed the requisitions office a familiar face crept from an room opposite, looking strung out and almost corpse like.

"Tenzo, why do you look like that?" Kakashi said evenly, unfazed.

"Huh, oh good afternoon Senpai... Sakura-Chan" he gave a soft nod to both "I trust you both are having a swell time outside of the blast radius?" The question threw him for a moment before he realized the reference was likely in reflection of the very same person that propelled Sakura to invade his home. Guiltily he ran a hand through his hair and gave a sheepish look.

"Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I had quite a lot of work to do, thought I'd be proficient with my time and it seems it didn't go to plan."

"That it did not" Yamato responded with a huff, "but it's okay, I guess, after all you'll be gone for a while no point wasting time angry when I can muster up something to level out the score" a boyish grin seemed to waken up the tired captains face.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow in slight surprise, "you know you're beginning to sound a lot like Gai".

"Well I'm beginning to think that's the only way to survive the chaos you create Senpai."

Sakura danced slightly on and off the balls of her feet, and with a familiar teasing grin met his eye. "You know I agree with Yamato, there are only a number of ways to cope".

With lackadaisical effort he motioned with his hand like he were brushing their comments away from him. "I do not know what you mean… and you" he poked Sakura in the shoulder "don't you start". A silent moment passed and he chuckled at their unamused faces.

Yamato gave Sakura a hopeless look "oh good luck with him Sakura-Chan, I feel for you stuck with him for so long."

Kakashi watched a strangely soft expression come over her face. "Don't be silly, you don't need to worry about me. I'll have him sorted out" and she gave a gentle laugh, barely audible above the commotion of the office workers now filling the hallway, signalling lunch had started.

"I'll worry nonetheless. Have you contacted your parents? Well actually thinking about that you can't can you?" Yamato being rightly unsure over the sensitive nature of their mission gave her room to elaborate.

"Ah. No I haven't, I can't not with this one. As far as others are allowed to know I'm doing nothing that needs that type of communication with my mum and dad." A hint of longing crept in to her tone, "I haven't actually spoken to them in a long time. My fault. I should've been to see them actually it's been far too long and with this mission it's going to be really long."

"They'll be worried. Did you get administration to set up an alibi?" There it was the protectiveness, the questioning and the genuine concern. He watched as the younger captain questioned her like he were family, and in a way so openly transparent of his feelings that it made Kakashi envious.

"Yeah, of course. It was weird I've never had to do that. I guess that's a perk of having them live outside the main village now so they won't notice I'm absent anyway. Ah, that actually reminded me I've still to pickup medic supplies, Kakashi-Sensei is there anything you still need to do?"

Pulled from thought he gave a pause to think, "hmm, I still have to work over the pseudonyms and what not, there were recommendations made that still have to be incorporated".

"Well you'd best get to it, you don't have a lot of time Senpai. I on the other hand have lunch to get to" with pat of his stomach Yamato gave a wistfully hungry look. "Oh, I'd also recommend cleaning up the mess you made. It wouldn't be fair if you got to sneak off tomorrow leaving us." He prompted before spinning on his heel towards the stairs, giving a wave over his shoulder he called back "please try to be safe, and Kakashi don't let her fool you she is powerful and yet still inexperienced, no matter what she says don't let her go off on her own".

Sakura seemingly had to bite her lip at that comment, "you know, he still treats me like a kid, he's being ridiculous."

"Don't worry about it Tenzo, I would never let someone harm a precious student." His tone rising as a smile formed. His voice lowered so only Sakura could hear. "I wouldn't say a kid Sakura, more like someone who has seen a lot of bad things happen to good people and doesn't want to see it happen again. Just don't let it upset you, he means well and trust me it comes from a place of respect".

She deliberated over that for a moment and nodded, "I know, I'm heading to resupply the medicines I'll need. I left something for you on the carriage. I'll meet you there once I'm done?"

He nodded his expression curious at what she could have prepared.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Walking into the prep room for the mission, he pulled down his ever present mask breathing the stale room in. Looking down some last minute files he looked down the list of possible alias' trying to figure out which one would be easiest to slip into. Few linked to established clans such as the Inuzuka clan. At first glance that would have been a good selection with its relation to his mother's maiden name, however this mission required discretion, something a clan name would not enable. After sorting through a few pages he came across a few more married identities. Marriage would make more sense, he wasn't truly old enough to be her dad, nor did they look alike to be sibling, friends wouldn't open a business like what they'd be doing so the only easy avenue was marrying them off. Something which humored him as much as it made him feel slightly uncomfortable, it was amusing to believe that she'd have to conform to more marital behavior, he thought himself already fitting comfortably in to the mould of a pestering, frequently annoying husband. The fun part would be watching her have to deal with it and have no choice. The harder part, which he tried to bury at the back of his mind, was the more intimate side to their proposed relationship status. They'd both have to be very careful, himself especially for the responsibility of this mission fell more so on his shoulders. With Sakura's age and lack of experience to these types of missions it was his focus to make it as easy as possible.

Regardless of the feelings that gripped him they could not come before the mission, he could also not use this mission to exploit what he still believed to be a vulnerable colleague and a valued friend. These feelings weren't her fault, nor were they her burden. If he were to be the man that his father had wanted him to be he would not take advantage. The problem of course though was presented through two avenues for failure, one was self-control, which he believed firmly wouldn't be a problem unlike the second one, situational-control.

His thoughts trailed back to the discussion with Tsunade in the office.

As he stood in front of the large wooden desk, the fifth Hokage staring at him deeply.

"Knowing that Sakura is both my own apprentice and your own Kakashi I know how difficult infiltration missions of this sort can be and the first thing you will need to focus on is breaking the wall of teacher and student between you and Sakura. You will possibly need to get intimate in ways you never really considered, both on a physical and emotional level."

Guilt washed heavily through him as those words spread out into the waiting silence, her hardened eyes softened slightly. "Never the less Kakashi I trust you to follow the mission with your normal efficiency, however I must make a personal request of you Kakashi, not as the Hokage, not as Sakura's teacher, and not even as a friend. But as a concerned parent talking for one of her children. Sakura is young and if I could spare someone else for this mission I would, that being said for this to be a success it needs to be her and so…"

The strong emotional outburst taking a strange awkward pause as the elder-nin looked for her words, Kakashi's tension almost palpable. "If it does have to follow up to more physical intimacy please, be careful with Sakura. The mission always comes first, I don't know just how inexperienced she is but she is still very young in some respects. There will be no mission based consequences were you not to follow my request. I can't order you to be delicate. Just know I trust you and my respect for you would be forfeit should you cross that line."

Her fist thumped the table softly adding finality to the words. "I know you care for her as any mentor would, and if you really care for her you will break these walls down and have her as an equal no longer your pupil. Anbu isn't known for building healthy relationship skills as a person, this will not necessarily be easy for someone normally so reserved Kakashi. It is not an easy task I have placed upon you. I would have you know, there is no other I would entrust her to for this mission."

These words defeated the silver haired man in a way nothing had before. With nothing more than trust Lady Tsunade's words had broken him then as they did now.

Regardless of his true means, to be careful and take gentle steps around the grey areas of their mission performance, the situation may call for the occasional show. Kakashi was a private man the idea of showing anyone anything, even if he were truly married to someone, a behavior he found uncomfortable. However they weren't supposed to be themselves here so it didn't matter, what they did would be under the alias and the marriage of…

 _Sakata_ _Takeru_

 _Sakata Sora_

With the selection complete he made the administrative steps and filled in the forms, to which an Anbu operative working behind a shabby plastic window placed it in a seal locked scroll for the Hokage.

Making his way back outside, he exited through the back of the building to avoid the commotion of the other Jonin. He needed time to breathe, just a moment outside and away from noise, for now though he had to put the bag he was shuffling about, that had the last of their things, in to the carriage.

The back of the Hokage main building lay in shadow from the rocky monument above, he looked up to take in the faces of his predecessors knowing that within a year his would be alongside theirs. It was hard to imagine, it wasn't a role he had wanted, yet as he looked upwards a calming feeling entered and soothed him, all he could think in that moment was how proud his dad would have been, how Obito would have slapped him on the back and told him he deserved it after making some proclamation of winning the next round. Minato's reaction he thought would have been something he would've liked to see the most. His teacher and only solace through such a dark chapter of his life, what would he say once he knew that his troubled student was next to be the embodiment of the torch that carried the will of fire.

As he mused himself with thoughts of what could've been he sorted through the contents of the carriage, moving things in to better alignment which meant for better security and less risk of falling off during the journey. During his check-listing his hand landed on a pale wooden box with a white ribbon. His mind faulted before prompting his earlier conversation with Sakura, she had left this for him. He untied the ribbon with care and felt for the groove in the box to open it. A small fluttering of what he recognized to be happiness caressed his heart.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Sakura Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Weaving through the corridors she found herself within the confines of the storage sector for medic supplies quickly with practiced ease. At one point she swore she lived within these walls. Training under Tsunade didn't leave much time for things such as going home, or generally leaving the main building unless they were doing combat related training. The area was like a basement, she knew however that below this level the Anbu and integration quarters existed, something about the hatch that led to that adjoining staircase made her shiver. As far as she was concerned it was the basement neighbour to hell. As a healer nothing conflicted more than knowing of the many tortured and shattered victims which were still forced to exist by an inhumane system she couldn't cure.

The double doors swung closed behind her and she was greeted with the dim grey glow of storage ahead. The air was dense with heat, with poor ventilation and no windows to the outside world she felt the familiar feeling of being shut in, confined from the living world above. At a dusty desk on the far end of the room, amongst the shelves red hair gleamed against the grey. Sakura made her way towards the desk to place her name and details on the workbook. As the red hair came in to full view, to her shock, she realized that it belonged to none other than the woman she saw a couple of days ago. A knot twisted in her stomach as she searched her brain for a name, _'who, who is she again, what did Genma call her?'_

When the woman met her eyes the name seemed to leap in to her conscious mind, _'Kayo'_. A beautiful smile came across the woman's face as she spoke "Ah, Haruno Sakura? I've been waiting for you, you were supposed to be here for check in twenty minutes ago."

It took a moment for Sakura to beat back her awkwardness to speak. "Ah I'm sorry, it's been a very long, unpredictable morning. Normally it's not an issue if I'm late the other receptionist don't wait for me. You should've just went for lunch". She said it off handily, however if a little bit annoyed. It was such a normal visit here for her, that to be scolded for being late didn't go down well.

"Are you new to this section?" Sakura hadn't meant it to come across as it probably had, it was a genuine question based on Kayo's unawareness regarding normal procedure between frequent visitors.

Kayo seemed to digest that for a moment, like she had wanted to say something else entirely before she replied. "Yes. I am new. But I am aware of the normal situation between yourself and other staff here but I don't want to risk my position within the first couple of weeks through not observing a check in".

"That's fair enough" Sakura nodded and tried to brush off the gathering tension. Leaning forwards she quickly scribbled in her details and made to walk away from the table.

Kayo's voice called out to her, vacant of the previous tone she'd carried. Soft, almost wearily, "Sakura, please before I go for break can I speak with you a moment. Unofficially I mean, just one person to another?"

The emotion behind the question caught her unawares, and before she could make up an excuse to evade a potentially awkward experience her curiosity saw her spin on her heel to face back to the desk. Previous irritation had faded from her mind and she looked upon the nervously gentle expression of the woman before her. She could never stay upset for long, empathy was an asset as much as it was a hindrance she couldn't train herself to control. In past moments sitting by the besides of the injured, sick and lost; friends, family and those who were supposed to be enemies. There was no way to strip the very same empathy that tore her to shreds from the faces of those who passed under her care. Healers fought to fix the broken, indiscriminately, an internal oath free of the bias of war, money and power. Nonetheless Jonin still followed the mentality more traditionally ascribed to those in the field. The narrative, _'rule 25, no matter what the situation a shinobi must keep their emotions on the inside. You must make the mission your top priority… and you must possess a heart that never shows tears.'_

They still laughed and sneered at a healer's kindness, _'their soft hearts'_ over enemies. In reflection Sakura believed they didn't understand the passion behind life; the act of saving it or taking it. Both passionate exercises over the human soul, that in her mind these people lacked the ability to understand the weight of their burden, or worse trained to no longer care. The fear she harbored, that behind the mask of duty one day each shinobi would wake from this and realized the lives lost had meaning. It would be too great, they could crumble and lose their sanity. She could only pray the new age they were creating held better for the next generation.

In this moment it was the same nindo way that guided her actions urging her to stay, that walked her in to situations others would've just shook off. She wasn't comfortable with social situations like this and had a peculiar feeling that what was about to happen wasn't as innocent as Kayo's expression seemed to signal. Regardless she bit at the bait, "Yeah, of course I don't see why not, is everything okay?"

"I want to talk to you about Kakashi, before you leave for whatever mission you are leaving on. I know you both are going to be gone for a while." If Kayo hadn't been acting practitioner within the medic sector then Sakura would've been alarmed that she knew of the mission. However they had the storage books which thoroughly catalogued the packages coded for release, their amount, who was paying and who'd be collecting for what purpose. When it was a long mission it would be placed under area marked damages. It didn't take an expect to work out the aliases for missions as those collecting the so called damaged goods, it left details vague but descriptive enough to figure out, like Sakura and Kakashi, who were leaving the village for a length of time.

A flutter of nerves started moving around in her stomach at the mention of his name. Knowing that the woman before her was his lover, previous or current status undisclosed, started a chain of thoughts aimlessly trying to link to the possible motivations behind this conversation. All of them made her feel nauseated.

"I don't know what your relationship is with him right now but I've got this feeling that there's something going on. I don't know what he's said about me or what you've heard but" she paused briefly to find her words. Sighing, her shoulders slumping. "Look kid, I know how it seems. He is so mysterious and vague. It's completely spell binding. Like some lost tale from the past blasting through and sweeping you along in its madness..." Looking distractedly around she broke off mid-sentence "This is harder than I thought, I know I'm making this uncomfortable".

"A tiny bit yeah, but I don't know where you're going with this." Sakura prompted her to continue regardless of the sickly sensation gnawing away within her stomach.

With another deep breath the red haired woman steadied herself and walked around the table which previously separated them. Coming to stand before Sakura as an adult would before a junior, her height leading her to look down to match with the Kunoichi's eye level.

Eyes brimmed with concern she continued "Please, understand I just want to warn you. No more and no less. I don't want to upset you, this isn't what this is about. Before you go on this mission I want to warn you that he isn't what you think, he won't give you what you want and whatever you think or hope he feels isn't what's actually going to come through."

The sickness in her stomach twisted violently, _'is it that obvious, am I that obvious?'_ The thought horrified her in a way that she couldn't explain, it shook her on a very intimate level, like some great violent earthquake. She hadn't wanted anyone to be privy to that side of her heart. It was too much, "look I have to get things sorted this conversation doesn't need to happen, nothing's going on." With that she made to walk away, escape from the nausea and get back to reality, back to the lie.

Kayo let out a scoff of irritation behind her before tugging at Sakura's arm to turn her back around. "This is exactly what I mean, this is why I think this is important. You are still young Sakura, that reaction just proved me right. Try and be adult about this hear me out, please."

' _Young'_ , that word that wholly innocent word held so much power. She was young compared to him, compared to him, her colleagues and even Kayo she was young.

"He means well, but it's all a faced. Inside he has a lot of problems he is a great ninja, but he isn't completely sane. Everyone in our world have scars but he has got a darkness that will pull you down to the depths of madness. You want to help him, but he doesn't want to come out from the misery, that's where all his friends are. It takes someone like Gai the unstoppable force of nature he is to even influence him. I'm not wanting to say hurtful things Sakura it's just as an adult I've had more experience with him than you. Remember you have always been looking up to him rather than looking at him, and its time you take a look at the shadow he casts because as his partner it'd be your job to lift them."

"Kayo, please" she paused for a moment to take a breath and calm her nerves "look, this may sound rude, I seriously don't mean it to be, I appreciate what you think needs to be said but honestly there is nothing going on between us. I also find it a bit presumptuousness on your part to say you know him better than me when you don't even know our relationship. He's a close friend, a dear friend to me and we've both been through a lot together so I'd honestly appreciate it more if you'd accept that. I really don't know what you want me to say. How exactly do you want me to respond?"

They started at each other now, both flustered at the nauseating stress of such a sensitive topic. Kayo ran her hand roughly though her hair, pulling her fringe away from her face. This was a warm day, the medic storage was like an oven and Sakura didn't need a mirror to know that her face was just as sweaty and flushed as Kayo's was.

"Look. Look I get it" Kayo motioned her hands out in front of her defensively like she was shoving Sakura's words back at her. "This is hard. I'm messing up what I wanted to say to you. I've been practicing the words for a while and now that I have you in front of me I feel like I haven't been at all."

At this Sakura felt tension from her shoulders release slightly, this woman in front of her wasn't some horrendous person trying to hurt her. It was a kind person, a lost person trying to do something they thought was right.

"I don't know you. Truthfully I've only ever heard the stories, so I know of you. I know what you mean to the people who talk of you. Yamato and I actually talk quite a lot and he's just… the way he speaks of you just… it just gave me the impression that you didn't have anyone who could help you. Romantically I mean. When I saw you at the bar with him, I just I didn't act like myself. I didn't like what happened between Kakashi and me, I didn't like how it ended and I saw how he was acting with you. He hurt me Sakura, he broke my heart and you're so young, you're just so young and full of hope. I didn't want that for you." Kayo's breaths were heavy as she reclaimed the air she had clamored for. Redness spread across her cheeks and her eyes locked with Sakura's with a look of nervous determination.

"I don't know what to say" she said quietly, this was too much for her as she felt her thoughts race in time with her heart. What Kayo was saying suggested something, it suggested many things that Sakura both wished for and terribly feared. Like what if he had wanted her as she ached for him? What if her feelings weren't just her own deluded nightmare but a shared dream? It was too little and too much at the same time, she wanted to explode with question over what Kakashi's former lover meant by the way he looked at her. At the same time she greatly feared the rejection, the lie, the too great a hope that what this person was truly doing was manipulating her heart to trap her in some sick game to hit out at her ex who had hurt her.

"I tried, I really did. I spent months just trying to get his defense lowered enough to talk. I left it up to him to talk to me when he was ready, with the hope that I could work my way in. I was an idiot. I believed that if we spent time together and acted somewhat like a couple it would wake something up inside him, that one day he could unload to me like I would do with him. It was a lie I told myself, it was a lie that suffocated me. I ended it after I hit a wall, after I realized he just wanted a distraction. To be honest it wouldn't surprise me if that's what he believes. I got upset and basically felt he was too needy or some shit like that and I left. It hurt like hell and I just left."

The energy seemed to die in her voice as she now looked at the floor exhausted. Sakura took a few step forwards as to comfort her but stopped when she realized what she was doing. She didn't know this woman and she didn't know what was going on, she'd never been in a situation like this before and was not sure what the proper action to take was.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It doesn't sound easy, but Kayo what does this have to do with me? We work together he was my sensei. What he does in a relationship has nothing to do with me" Sakura placed a hand on to her shoulder to comfort her, only for Kayo to meet her eyes with a fierce look. Anger seemed to flood the woman in front of her as her hand was swiped callously off its place on her shoulder. What was meant to be a friendly gesture had been rejected.

"Look. I know you aren't trying to be patronizing, and I know from Yamato you are a good person. Seriously though, if I need comforting from a child like you then I'm worse off than even I thought. I am not worried for Kakashi we are both adults who have long since calloused over wounds from lost friends and innocence. I'm an adult sounding like a spoiled child. When it goes south, you'll know where to find me Sakura. I just hope you take my warning seriously".

Kayo placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder on passing squeezed gently and walked out. Sakura wished deeply that she had gotten upset. That she had stormed out like the spoiled child she claimed to be. That would have been a lot better than the long and hard sliver of ice that had lodged itself in her chest when she heard the door breezing into place.

The silence crippled her, her inexperience a failure, her hopes feeling small and selfish. She lifted her hand dejectedly opening the door and slumped her way to where the carriage was waiting, off to her immature fantasy's side.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Her miserable mood weighed about her like an anchor pulling her in an ever falling spiral. As she stepped in to the cool shadowed enclosure of the drop-off point a sight she wasn't expecting greeted her. Kakashi sat with his legs dangling off the edge of the carriage, relaxed with a small delicately sanded box tied with a white ribbon. Her mood quickly dissipated to a smile as she realized she hadn't missed him opening her gift, friend or more made no difference as she saw a sight so rare.

With his mask resting around his neck she saw what was always hidden before; a smile, sweet, honest and free of troubles broke like first light across his face as he lifted Minato's kunai from the box, like a treasured and most precious diamond. Happiness swelled from within and careful not to disturb him she watched for only a few seconds longer, to treasure the gift of a moment that he gave back to her, before sliding quietly back inside. She could always drop off the medic supplies later.

* * *

 **Note:**

Hey guys! Hope you had a fantastic new years and xmas! I wanted to put up another chapter before heading back to uni and being trapped in my lonely cave of coffee and deadlines.

 **Replies:**

 _HonestxxEyes_ : Thank you so much for your support! The fear I get with dialogue is unreal so thank you for your words, they give me confidence. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

 _deBrumbled_ : Your review is honestly amazing and filled me with confidence that I wasn't writing dribble. I was worried that I was taking the long boring route, but the relief I felt and the happiness that someone other than my beta reader picked up on what I was trying to say has negated that. I can't express what that means to someone like me who writes for the love of it. Thank you so much for your kind words and your support. I hope you like this new chapter. Also I was determined to put it up sooner because of your support aha so I'm sure that those who are waiting on it will be happy too. Thank you for the review it made what was a rough day good.


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